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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be really worried about work?

106 replies

CaptainObviousTwo · 11/08/2017 12:39

I've been working at a new company in a junior role since early April. In that time I have taken sick leave on four different occasions. (5 days in total)

I came into work today feeling under the weather but just sucked it up, but very quickly deteriorated and ending up being sick. I only live ten mins from work but was too dizzy to drive so left my car there and was driven home. I was sick a few times, room is still a bit spinny and I really don't think I'd have been much good at work.

I missed a meeting last week as a dog that was living at my house (My Mum's whilst she was in hospital which is literally another thread in its own right) attacked my boyfriend and I had to take him to A+E.

This meeting is more of a "progress review" meeting for a project I'm leading with my team so inconvenient but not essential.

Problem is, that meeting is again this afternoon. I've spoken to our IT department and managed to get remote access to our conference call via my mobile and got a colleague to email me the spreadsheet I need to lead the meeting, I'll call in at 2 and take the meeting to try and minimise the disruption. I feel like death warmed up but fairly confident I can hold it together to not vomit during the half hour call.

I'm desperate to try and make amends for my repeated absence but feel like the damage has been done - I've been there for 4 months and been off sick as many times.

I've been told by several people, including my line manager, that my performance has been excellent but I'm sick with anxiety over having to take yet another day off.
They must think I'm taking the piss, or at the very least am a liability.

(I have passed my probation btw)

AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
CaptainObviousTwo · 11/08/2017 19:04

I'm on very good terms with my line manager and said when I left today that I was aware of my high sick rate and would fix it.
Will take all your advice and make a point of it on Monday

OP posts:
SpartacusSaiman · 11/08/2017 19:06

Because half his face had been torn away by a dog.

That escalated quickly

StealthPolarBear · 11/08/2017 19:07

Tbh that would reassure me as a manager. As long as thing s did then improve

AnneEyhtMeyer · 11/08/2017 19:24

Five absences in that time frame would have led to a written warning in a previous job I had. You would be on advanced triggers and close to a final warning.

Polarbearflavour · 11/08/2017 19:29

I've been at my job since April. Very large public sector workplace. I've had two line managers in that time and 5 days off sick.

My sickness hasn't been commented on. It hasn't been recorderd on the HR system. Nobody communicates so it hasn't been clocked! So therefore it doesn't exist.

Gottagetmoving · 11/08/2017 19:34

By the same token Gottagetmoving companies have the right to expect their employees to fulfil their contracts of employment. If they don't the employer is quite within their rights to cut their losses and dismiss

Yes, they do with someone who is constantly off work for long periods over a much longer time. As it is her employer can just get rid off her for no reason whatsoever on a whim on the length of time she has been there but it's no wonder that employees are stressed to death these days and have hardly any rights when so many people just accept anything their employer throws at them.
I haven't had a day off sick in 15 years...but that's my good luck. I have however seen many people under a lot of stress and anxiety because the managers are totally unsympathetic to genuine illness.
OP doesn't come across as someone who takes time off for the hell of it.

StealthPolarBear · 11/08/2017 19:55

Where do you draw the line then?
And I stand by my previous comments that telling the op not to worry is misleading.

Papafran · 11/08/2017 20:04

Off the point but I hope the dog has been dealt with. That sounds horrendous and I hope your bf doesn't have any permanent facial scarring, although that sounds unlikely from your description.

Did you get more meds? When I was on anti anxiety meds, I could order them at pretty short notice from the doctor and pick them up after work (the surgery was open late a few days a week). That would explain the dizziness- when I came off them, I would get constant dizzy spells.

Amaried · 11/08/2017 20:07

I agree that's very high and you would definitely be in the disciplinary track at my work. I think you are dead right to acknowledge it and tell them it's very unusual for you rather than it being the elephant in the room. Up to a year you have very little protection regardless of passing probation so I'd definitely endeavour to have full attendance between now and the end of the year.

StealthPolarBear · 11/08/2017 20:12

I suspect he's had some serious plastic surgery. Did he lose an eye?

2017SoFarSoGood · 11/08/2017 20:28

you poor thing, CaptainObvious you need to get back on your meds (but perhaps talk to your GP about doing so gradually?)as that may well be what is making you sick.

Yes, that is a lot of unscheduled time off. All sounds perfectly appropriate (and terrible for you, I am sorry!) but is still a lot of time off. It would make me watch you carefully. Some people are great at their jobs, but their personal lives are like a cyclone spinning out of control - that does not sound like you; this is a run of bad luck. Talk to your manager and explain that this is unusual, and that you are concerned and dp understand the optics of it.

Hope things calm down soon, and that your BF and DM are on the mend! Flowers all round.

Ktown · 11/08/2017 20:47

It is extraordinary bad luck.
I would feel you were unreliable rather than lazy.
There are also some people who have constant disasters at home. E.g. Dog attacks, kids ill etc and it isn't their fault but they are often the ones who are chaotic and unable to look after themselves too.
E.g. Kids with terrible asthma and eczema who have pets they are allergic to.
You should be fine if you are excellent at your job. I would overlook pretty much any absence if the employee is great.

Original poster
CaptainObviousTwo · 11/08/2017 20:59

Whilst I'm inclined to put myself down generally, I would say I'm pretty good at my job. Ithe is regularly commented that I'll do things at twice the efficiency of others; feels like its the one thing I can do right at the moment, or not - as the case may be.

Bf is ok. His face is pretty torn up but he's still the most gorgeous man I've met, inside and out. Drs are optimistic about healing .

OP posts:
confusedandemployed · 11/08/2017 23:19

Actually no Gottagetmoving you are wrong. They have the right to expect reliability from employees regardless of how that translates. And they could dismiss OP for that level of sickness and be totally within their rights. You may not like it but suggesting they do not have the right to do so is misleading amd frankly dangerous to potentially vulnerable employees.

guestofclanmackenzie · 11/08/2017 23:55

I would imagine management may could very well be quietly concerned about the occasions of absence. But this all depends on how your HR department record absences. My past employers recorded firstly the amount of occasions you were absent during a rolling 12 month period as opposed to the amount of days.

A bit silly in my view as people who could very well have been back to work on day three of being absent, tended to say "fuck it, I may as well take the whole week off"

They also recorded trends and triggers such as whether there was a pattern emerging of a person always being off sick on a Monday morning or a Friday..or even month end when it was hideously stressful.

I won't lie, it doesn't look particularly good, but if your through probation, and if this is completely out of character and purely just down to a series of unfortunate events, then you could pull it back and eventually, the sickness occasions will "drop off" as the year goes on.

tiredbutFINE · 12/08/2017 00:25

Seriously, it's my job to deal with sickness and sometimes these things happen! Chances are that you are doing a good job, as you have said, and they will be understanding. And the one big reassurance you can give is that you understand it may be a problem and will do all you can to minimise disruption.
The worst is people who go off a few times, then it becomes a habit, they are late, they don't do a good job etc. You passed probation, you are well thought of, it will be fine. And it sounds like you have a lot going on in your personal life too. Perhaps you need a day's annual leave to sort out your personal life and ensure you have melds sorted, dog sitting sorted, house sorted and to BREATHE. Your manager sounds reasonable and I'm sure they will help. But what is the worst that could happen? A formal meeting? Maybe a file note?

steff13 · 12/08/2017 01:34

I think it depends on the employer. I am in a union, and everyone must be treated the same regarding absences, etc. It doesn't matter how good an employee you are otherwise. There you'd be given a verbal warning, and you'd not be allowed to be off sick for a period of time, say 6 months.

What happened to the dog?

xoxo,
Steff, XIII

Out2pasture · 12/08/2017 01:41

taking your bf to the hospital after a dog bite is not an appropriate reason for taking sick time.
do you understand that he could take a cab or call an ambulance or a simple first aid course...
your sick time is for when YOU are sick (possibly a child) but not your bf sorry.

FlyingFox95 · 12/08/2017 01:43

Depends on your HR absence policy but that number of absences is extremely high. Unless they're due to a medical condition I'd expect you to be invited to a disciplinary soon.

Again, depends on the policy though but either way 4 periods of absence since April is a lot

NotTheCoolMum · 12/08/2017 03:17

Never had a sick day in 2 years and that's normal Hmm fgs.

Yours etc
CoolMum (NotThe)

lalalalyra · 12/08/2017 03:22

Taking someone to hospital in such a situation wouldn't be sick - surely special leave or unpaid leave would be more appropriate?

When I had to take my DH to a&e badly injured my work gave me the choice of unpaid leave or, generously, annual leave as sick leave wasn't appropriate as I wasn't sick.

Gottagetmoving · 12/08/2017 10:31

Actually no Gottagetmoving you are wrong. They have the right to expect reliability from employees regardless of how that translates. And they could dismiss OP for that level of sickness and be totally within their rights. You may not like it but suggesting they do not have the right to do so is misleading amd frankly dangerous to potentially vulnerable employees

I didn't say they were not within their rights.
As things stand they can dismiss anyone for no reason whatsoever in the first 12 months. They could however, treat people with some concern and respect. This being summoned to explain yourself above notification of sickness is becoming a bit too much and being warned against future sickness is ridiculous. We have people who are terrified of becoming ill.

StealthPolarBear · 12/08/2017 11:30

Tired but fine the worst that could happen is she is let go.

Original poster
CaptainObviousTwo · 12/08/2017 14:25

taking your bf to the hospital after a dog bite is not an appropriate reason for taking sick time.

With a few incredibly niche and unlikely exceptions, there is not a job in the world that I would have put my heavily bleeding, badly injured boyfriend into a taxi to A+E so I could be back at my desk. Quite frankly, the fact that he is my boyfriend is moot - if a stranger had been attacked by a dog and needed to get to A+E immediately, and me taking them was the fastest option, then I would still have gone to the hospital rather than back to work.

If I'm sacked because of this, then fine - I still would go back and make the same decision.

The sick leave is a different matter and I recognise it is high and, ultimately, my responsibility. I will be speaking with my manager and if it does ultimately come to a dismissal then I'll take it with good grace, as I can see their perspective clearly.

I have a couple of businesses on the side and I would be deeply unhappy if my employee did this. (Though that's a funny thing to say as I'd also have empathy... but you know what I mean!)

OP posts:
Sosks · 12/08/2017 14:44

This happened to me with my work last year, roughly same no of absences and time working too! In my case they called an 'absence review' and I was given a formal warning. Wasn't best pleased as they weren't absences I could help but one of those things you have to take on the chin. The warning has since lifted and my employers are happy with my work Smile