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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Antenatal Cheeky Fucker. AIBU?

57 replies

CardiffSpecialSundae · 11/08/2017 11:43

Go ahead and tell me IABU, I just need to vent.

I do an antenatal class. It's oversubscribed, with a booking system where you need to buy blocks in advance but can then sell them/swap them later on FB.

At the start of the last block, this woman just turned up and said something like "Oh, I don't need to book for this, do I?" I think none of us had the heart to say that actually, no you can't just turn up, so we told her to speak to the teacher. There was a sub teaching that day, who had no idea who was expected. Woman joined in the class. Very vocal, oversharing. Also asked a few of us for advice on a very personal topic literally two minutes after meeting.

Same story the following week - turned up, different sub was teaching, she just joined in. Sub didn't seem to notice that room was now a bit overcrowded for all paid attendees plus this random woman.

Since then our actual teacher has come back, and this woman just keeps bloody turning up! She'll arrive at the beginning of class, hang around, take a spot, then bugger off when paid women arrive. If the class is full, she'll hang around for the initial "how's everyone feeling?" bit, ask loads of invasive questions of the rest of us, then turn up again after class when everyone goes for a coffee.

She does odd things:
-photographing (extensively) the teacher's baby, who comes along to the class,

-saying things like, "Look, can we do this [discussion] at the end of the class, I need to leave early today?" - for a class she hasn't even bloody signed up for!

  • brought her OH along at some point - again, it's a women's antenatal class, does anyone need to be told that it's a bit off for a bloke to turn up?

At the caff there's more of the same - she plays on her phone incessantly until she wants to ask something about [random topic pulled from thin air], when she'll happily interrupt the rest of us to say, "Oh, but what do people think about [random topic]?" Given that the rest of us were happily discussing local nurseries/parks the minute before, we typically just mumble something neutral about fox hunting (it really is as random as that), then change the subject. And on it goes. Plus endless requests for advice about her relationship issues, but if one of us tries to engage with her about that/offer an opinion, she snaps.

It sounds nuts, but I'm now totally on edge at other points in the week, because I feel like this shouldn't be allowed to carry on. I'm waiting for the teacher to properly turn her away instead on letting this go on. I can't take another 20 weeks of this but I really like the class and don't want to cancel just because of her.

I started off thinking that she just needed a bit of support etc, but actually now in my mind she is Antenatal Cheeky Fucker. AIBU?

OP posts:
CardiffSpecialSundae · 11/08/2017 19:19

Wait, you don't even know for sure that she doesn't pay?

If she paid, she wouldn't bugger off when a paid member of class turned up!

I get that the consensus is speak to the teacher. I'm gritting my teeth.

OP posts:
OnlyRose · 11/08/2017 19:32

Excuse me for asking, but is this Antenatal Cheeky Fucker definitely actually pregnant?! I just have visions of her being such a Cheeky Fucker that she is gatecrashing a pregnancy yoga class when normal yoga would do her just fine! WinkGrin

CardiffSpecialSundae · 11/08/2017 20:53

only god knows. That would be brilliant though Grin. She doesn't look pregnant, but I'm not showing yet either. If she sticks around for the rest of our pregnacies fuck no we'll see!

OP posts:
Rainbunny · 11/08/2017 22:27

Well she sounds very annoying but really it's up to the organisers to decide how many people they will accept in a class and it's also up to the organisers to make sure everyone has paid. By all means complain that you feel the class is too crowded and check and at the same time you could heavily hint that it seems like she hasn't pre-booked or even paid...

It's really weird that you describe her as showing up and taking a mat but then moving when paid attendees show up to claim a mat - am I understanding that correctly? In this case she seems to be acting like she is aware that she shouldn't really be there but shows up anyway, she sounds a bit bonkers if that's what she is doing!

CardiffSpecialSundae · 12/08/2017 07:37

It's really weird that you describe her as showing up and taking a mat but then moving when paid attendees show up to claim a mat - am I understanding that correctly?

Indeed you are. This is what does my head in.

OP posts:
DoublyTroubly · 12/08/2017 07:53

Have you ever thought that she has some sort of arrangement with the teacher - turn up at class and you can only stay if there's a spare space. The teacher would then only charge a reduced rate for the days there was a space. That would be a great business model for the teacher if she's actually found someone willing to do it.

To be honest, I don't really think it's your place to say anything. The teacher obviously knows what's going on so has agreed to it (explicitly or implicitly). If she is interrupting the class with her comments, then that is something that is reasonable to raise with the teacher

Eatalot · 28/12/2017 12:53

She sounds like a tv character. Bat shit crazy.

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