to trust my dh when he says he pays the bloody rent?

[kittypants]

Do you have reason not to believe him?

naughty Mr Kitty pants

Check up if you think there's any doubt. You don't want to risk being out on the streets.

i recieved letter saying we owe over £3000.see legal/money matters help.gggrrr

Have you asked him?

asked him what?

Why he hasn't paid it!

how many months is £3000 ?

he says hes had to pay other things but i cant understand how he doesnt see how importantant rent is.hes been buying things like dishwasher,printer,holidays etc!!i seriously had no clue.i think by sounds of it landlady has been too nice till now so maybe he felt 'able to take piss'???

6 but apparently not all together.or nearly 7 actually as over £3000

no idea!i know he had some bills to pay and as i said has been getting a bit spend happy,i assumed we were doing well.hes self employed at moment so earns different amounts.

goodness me..paying the rent or a mortgage has to come before anything else, at all !! Has he any money to pay any of it? nice the landlady not booted you out before now, she would have been quite within her rights

i know,shes threatening court but says she doesnt want to as apart from him being crap she loves us as tenants.i have £1000 put away so can use that and try gradually coming up with rest.

well, definitely keep open the lines of communication with the landlady, and make an offer of an interim payment to keep it out of court......have you spoken to DH about this?

no hes at work.a couple of weeks ago i found letter-he hid(!)from landylady saying that the owed rent was getting out of control.he got all nasty when questionned and said its been sorted i'll speak to her but this letter clearly states theres been no communication.

ok spoke to him(how much swearing is allowed on here!!) just lots of hhmm ing etc i said you cant just hmm you need to sort it or give me her phone number so i can.he then decided its my fault and was shouting he needs to think.bloody think!!!so apparently we are speaking about it later.

hoe infuriating..like a child being caught out lying ! not your fault ! and it is a good job you found the letter.... perhaps you can take this over, and deal with the landlady from here on in? and set up a direct debit for the payments

he is probably embarrassed and ashamed too...hope you have a good talk later

So he decided to wing it and has been caught out. I've been there. His reaction now is called "I know I've fucked up royally but don't need you rubbing it in, even though I deserve it".

what step is next hoppydaddy?
lulumama good idea about me doing direct debit.i am sahm but could use the taxcredits and chb to pay.we might have enough to eat

Tell him that you WILL nag him every month and will want PROOF that he's paid the rent. If he doesn't agree, insist that he put you on the bank account, if you're not already and you will make sure the rent / bills are paid. Take his bank card so he can't buy himself anything daft and give him some money for travel / lunches and stuff.

If he wants to behave like a child, treat him like one. Believe me, being threatened with that changes your behaviour very quickly.

he wouldnt do it.people already comment that he has 'too' much control in relationship.

He either does it or you / he moves out. You can't live like that, he is effectively putting the threat of homelessness over your head.

If he can't understand, find a way to pay it yourself and tell him he can live at his mums like a child.

I would be livid. This is your family home. I got annoyed with DH because he had managed to get £150 of debt on a interest paying credit card instead of interest free. Nothing like the same thing. I see no reason why you shouldn't have access to family funds. Stand your ground and argue your case!

i am livid.just made second phone call-he will end up sacked.wont give me landladys number and will sort out after work.i asked if he realises we could be chucked out and i feel hed be happy 5 of us in council flat(been there done that,nothing wrong with it but round here council flats are tiny)and told him to f off.didnt hear rest of conversation as i hung up.