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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbour assaulted me.. I'm just venting

46 replies

SnailsEverywhere · 11/08/2017 00:51

not really AIBU but I'm still shaken up and wanted to get it off my chest so I hope it's okay to post here.

I previously posted here about my neighbours having insanely loud music on 24/7 and being unable to do anything about it besides the council sending them useless letters.

The neighbours were having a party again tonight, my dog was barking like crazy so I went to look what at (I was upstairs, dog was in kitchen). The neighbours were hammering on my back door - they were in my garden. I opened the door and asked what they were doing and they invited me around for drinks, it was 2 men speaking broken english. I said no thanks and 1 man still kept asking me to go over there. The other man was trying to pull him away and seemed more sober/sane!

The man saw my dog and was asking to stroke him, I said no he doesn't like strangers, can you please leave cos you're in my garden! The man was saying what's the big deal, come join us. I said I would phone the police if you don't leave and then the man was going like "ooooo". So I did a maybe stupid thing and I stepped outside, in hindsight I should've just closed the door in their face but they were still in my back garden!

I asked them to leave and started shouting at them as they weren't moving (second man still trying to drag the first man away). The first man then shoved me really hard into the wall, my dog saw this and ran out of the house barking and growling at him which made the men back off a few steps, I grabbed my dog back and the main man tried to kick him. Dog went back into the house and the man shoved me again twice, hard, into the wall. I was screaming for them to leave and started crying and was screaming for my housemate to help me.

Eventually the second man managed to convince the other man to go away, but not before the first man spat on me. I then ran into the house to get my housemate who said to call the police. 1 HOUR later the police finally arrived and asked if I wanted to press charges for assault (neighbours were still outside in their garden with loud music but didn't see the police as they came from the front into my house)

I'm going on holiday for 2 weeks in a few days and I am leaving my housemate with my pets, I said no to the police for pressing charges because I am worried the neighbours might try to hurt my pets when I'm gone if they are out in the garden to go to the toilet and my housemate isn't watching them properly etc... so the neighbours don't even know that the police were here.

Anyway, this was a few hours ago now at about 10pm. I'm still really shaken up and can't sleep, my arm is really tender in 2 spots where he shoved me and it feels very surreal like a scene from a movie and I keep thinking "what if X, what if Y, I should have done Z instead" etc. Just needed to vent really :(

OP posts:
KeepServingTheDrinks · 11/08/2017 00:55

Oh Shit! (sorry, not a MN turn of phrase)

That's absolutely horrid.

Poor you. You've done NOTHING wrong.

I hope at some time you will take this further as their behaviour was out-and-out disgusting.

Beansonapost · 11/08/2017 00:55

Press charges!

Can you leave your pets elsewhere while you are away?

10greenapples · 11/08/2017 00:56

Oh sorry op I would definitely press charges though as if you don't surely they will just think they can do it again? Any chance of moving??

TheMaddHugger · 11/08/2017 00:57

((((((((((((Mega Madd Hugs))))))))))

Press charges

Anecdoche · 11/08/2017 00:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GreenTulips · 11/08/2017 00:58

Press charges - for your own sanity!!

Ring the council every time they have loud music - make them take notice

Are you both owners

DJBaggySmalls · 11/08/2017 00:59

That sounds really distressing. I've had problem neighbours in the past, and it can make life really unpleasant.
Can you complain to their landlord?
Time to ramp up your home defenses. Get a loud personal alarm from Ebay, and consider a solid post box for your front door if you are worried about your dogs safety.

SnailsEverywhere · 11/08/2017 01:01

I don't have any friends, family or money for my pets to go elsewhere except to stay here with housemate sadly :( I might press charges when I am back from holiday if it isn't too late by then?

I also plan to tell the council (as it relates to the noise complaint I guess), and the agency that I am renting from (same as the neighbours), about the situation when I am back from holiday though - the police advised to do this bit. I've lived here for 5 years, the neighbours for about 5 months, and the noise alone should be against their tenancy agreement so maybe they can be evicted somehow when the noise is coupled with what happened tonight.

I still daren't take any action until I am back though, for the pets sake :(

OP posts:
GardenGeek · 11/08/2017 01:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

notangelinajolie · 11/08/2017 01:13

Move house.

blankface · 11/08/2017 01:20

You've been assaulted, get medical evidence of the tenderness in your arm, do you have a minor injuries place that could look at it, so you'd have a record of your visit. If it bruises, sometimes it takes a few days to colour deeply, take photographs.

Italiangreyhound · 11/08/2017 01:30

So sorry, that is really shit.

I would move. In all honestly life is too short. If you want to press charges, do it.

CheshireChat · 11/08/2017 01:31

You'd also have a stronger case with the council if you press charges so that may be worth keeping in mind.

How reliable is your housemate?

Cheekyfuckerneighbour · 11/08/2017 01:38

I agree with you that I'd be scared to do anything that could endanger your pets. If they hurt you and tried to kick your dog they'd not be above doing something awful. Hugs for you op. Maybe take photos and report once you're back? Or ask the police what you could do but stress VERY FUCKING HARD that you don't want to do anything right now. (I've fallen foul of the police not listening before and they've put me in danger. I'd reported a neighbour's domestic and stressed how the husband had been violent towards me too and the police barrelled straight round there and said I'd made a complaint. Angry)

SnailsEverywhere · 11/08/2017 01:39

housemate is reliable enough to look after the dogs but might not monitor them all the time that they're in the garden like i would (especially after this!)

I can't drive so couldn't even get the dogs to a kennel if I could afford one. I have 3 dogs and 2 cats so even at a cheap kennel it would cost too much, I am unemployed at the moment but starting a job at the end of the month when I come back. No money until then. The "holiday" isn't really a proper holiday - I am visiting family in europe who I haven't seen for over a year and won't be able to see again any time soon because of my new job.

My arm has bruised already, I should go to a minor injuries place with that even though it is basically nothing?

OP posts:
AlmostAJillSandwich · 11/08/2017 05:42

Press charges! Spitting on someone is a serious type of assault because its a body fluid than can transfer infectious diseases. That is way worse than pushing you.

calli335 · 11/08/2017 05:53

Press charges when you're back off holiday. Stress to your house mate that she needs to keep an eye on your dog when he's in the garden. Really feel for you Flowers There are some shitty people in this world. I would try and move if you can.

HSMMaCM · 11/08/2017 06:20

I would go to minor injuries so there's a record. And then get back to the police when you return. You could tell them that's your plan.

MrsSlocombesPussy · 11/08/2017 06:41

Also make sure you get photos of your bruises

gunsandbanjos · 11/08/2017 06:42

Wow, what an absolute arsehole!

I can understand your reasoning for not pressing charges, as someone else said though maybe do it when you're back from holiday, is that something the police would allow?

Intransige · 11/08/2017 06:46

Yes, go to minor injuries and tell them exactly what happened. It's a record if you need it.

You can still press charges when you come back from holidays, if you want to.

Miserylovescompany2 · 11/08/2017 06:56

OP, I agree with others - you really need to press charges in this instance - as this could escalate otherwise - the spitting thing is vile.

Given the circumstances I'm sure your house mate will be quite alert and watchful whilst your pets are in the garden.

You'll have a stronger case to put towards the council also.

If you have any bruising etc - make sure you take photos - same with pain - get it logged with your GP

aquashiv · 11/08/2017 06:56

Press charges now.

Onelastpage · 11/08/2017 07:07

Another voice for the pressing charges chorus!

simon50 · 11/08/2017 07:11

Press charges and report to the council. They are responsible for the actions of their guests so its something else to have logged against your anti social neighbours.

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