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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Neighbour assaulted me.. I'm just venting

46 replies

SnailsEverywhere · 11/08/2017 00:51

not really AIBU but I'm still shaken up and wanted to get it off my chest so I hope it's okay to post here.

I previously posted here about my neighbours having insanely loud music on 24/7 and being unable to do anything about it besides the council sending them useless letters.

The neighbours were having a party again tonight, my dog was barking like crazy so I went to look what at (I was upstairs, dog was in kitchen). The neighbours were hammering on my back door - they were in my garden. I opened the door and asked what they were doing and they invited me around for drinks, it was 2 men speaking broken english. I said no thanks and 1 man still kept asking me to go over there. The other man was trying to pull him away and seemed more sober/sane!

The man saw my dog and was asking to stroke him, I said no he doesn't like strangers, can you please leave cos you're in my garden! The man was saying what's the big deal, come join us. I said I would phone the police if you don't leave and then the man was going like "ooooo". So I did a maybe stupid thing and I stepped outside, in hindsight I should've just closed the door in their face but they were still in my back garden!

I asked them to leave and started shouting at them as they weren't moving (second man still trying to drag the first man away). The first man then shoved me really hard into the wall, my dog saw this and ran out of the house barking and growling at him which made the men back off a few steps, I grabbed my dog back and the main man tried to kick him. Dog went back into the house and the man shoved me again twice, hard, into the wall. I was screaming for them to leave and started crying and was screaming for my housemate to help me.

Eventually the second man managed to convince the other man to go away, but not before the first man spat on me. I then ran into the house to get my housemate who said to call the police. 1 HOUR later the police finally arrived and asked if I wanted to press charges for assault (neighbours were still outside in their garden with loud music but didn't see the police as they came from the front into my house)

I'm going on holiday for 2 weeks in a few days and I am leaving my housemate with my pets, I said no to the police for pressing charges because I am worried the neighbours might try to hurt my pets when I'm gone if they are out in the garden to go to the toilet and my housemate isn't watching them properly etc... so the neighbours don't even know that the police were here.

Anyway, this was a few hours ago now at about 10pm. I'm still really shaken up and can't sleep, my arm is really tender in 2 spots where he shoved me and it feels very surreal like a scene from a movie and I keep thinking "what if X, what if Y, I should have done Z instead" etc. Just needed to vent really :(

OP posts:

CryingMessFFS · 11/08/2017 07:13

Press charges OP, anyone who spits on another person is the lowest form of scum on earth. They truly are. I know you're scared but if they 'get away' with it then they'll do it again.

Painfulpain · 11/08/2017 07:13

I think you need to press charges and apply for an order to keep them off your property and away from you AND YOUR HOUSE MATE

I'd be more worried about them hurting housemate (man? woman?) than the frigging dog!!

HashiAsLarry · 11/08/2017 07:19

Call the police back this morning and tell them that overnight you've changed your mind and would like them to press charges. Explain that you are going on holiday (you've done nothing wrong, they won't mind).

Please don't let them get away with it.

The other stuff like contacting the council and agency can wait.

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 11/08/2017 07:21

Was it the neighbours or two party goers?
Because you can bet your bottom dollar, no-one will remember who was at the party after you get back from holiday; you should have pressed charges there and then. You went to the bother of calling the police, then not bothering to see the complaint through. It's a waste of police time and resources.

coconutpie · 11/08/2017 07:22

Press charges today.

HUGS.

PrincessPlod · 11/08/2017 07:32

You can change your mind with police.

Photograph any marks and keep doing this as colour comes out.
get it documented with doctors and any emotional impact it's had on you
wrote down exactly what happened now, its fresh in your mind and you will remember times, what exactly was said and how it made you feel so when you come back from holiday and make a statement you haven't lost the impact of events.

Finally big hugs as being assaulted at your own property is the worst as it's your safe place. Try to enjoy your holiday but call police today say you want to pursue the matter and are available on your return from holiday.

LakieLady · 11/08/2017 07:33

Another vote for pressing charges, but I'd do it today, not wait till you get back from holiday.

Are your neighbours private tenants, or council? If the former, the council are very limited in what they can do. (Ultimately, they can prosecute for noise nuisance but the process takes ages and requires very strong evidence if it is to succeed).

If your council has an anti-social behaviour team, get in touch with them. Unfortunately, a lot of these have been cut because of lack of funds.

Bloody appalling behaviour, and it must be awful to live next door to.

LazyDailyMailJournos · 11/08/2017 07:34

No, press charges today.

As PP have said, by the time you've come back off holiday nobody will remember what's happened and the fact that you waited to press charges will lessen the validity of your case.

In addition to this, bear in mind that if you are complaining to the agency then the fact that you've pressed charges adds weight to what you're saying. There is a risk that if you don't, they will ask you why you didn't bother to press charges if it had been that bad? All bollocks of course, but you need to tick all the boxes to support what you are saying and get these arseholes evicted.

UrsulaPandress · 11/08/2017 07:38

I can understand your concerns for your pets but I would definitely press charges.

BackInTheRoom · 11/08/2017 07:40

I would definitely press charges. The only time I reckon they might venture in to the garden again is when they're partying at which point your housemate could supervise your pets more vigilantly? If you don't press charges, it pretty much gives them a green light to do it again and who knows, this behaviour might be directed at your housemate whilst your away.

Natsku · 11/08/2017 07:47

Definitely go to minor injuries and get a record of your injury and take time/date stamped photos of the bruising, and call the police and tell them you want to press charges but are worried about any possible repercussions to your pets while you are away and find out what your options are. I do think its better to press charges sooner rather than later though. Also talk to your housemate about your worries and ask them to be extra vigilant with your pets.

RubyReins · 11/08/2017 07:53

Are you in the UK OP? Only reason I ask is that we don't "press charges" in any of the UK jurisdictions; it's a matter for the police to refer to CPS/COPFS after they have concluded their investigations. Talk to the police again and see what they say. Have a look here www.gov.uk/your-rights-after-crime too. Hope you're OK this morning.

ShatnersWig · 11/08/2017 07:57

Sorry, OP, but WTF did you bother calling the police for if you weren't going to press charges? You complain about how long it took them to get to you (at least I assume that's why you put HOUR in capitals) but then didn't allow them to do their job?

KinkyAfro · 11/08/2017 08:58

Did you read the OP shatners op explained why.

And to the poster suggesting using kennels, it's only a tenner, OP said she didn't have enough money

ShatnersWig · 11/08/2017 09:09

Kinky Yes, I did. But I doubt the OP booked her holiday in the one hour while she was waiting for the police to arrive so she already knew about that. If I was in a situation where I needed to call the police, I would want the matter addressed with, not call them out and then not let them do something. They could have been out responding to another call, we know how stretched they are. I'm not saying I don't understand the reasoning, I just don't agree with it. I'm afraid with these sorts of unpleasant people you have to crack down on them hard otherwise they carry on and make life even more unbearable. What if, God forbid, they do something to her housemate while the OP is away? How would the OP feel then, knowing that maybe had she allowed the police to do their job it might have been prevented?

Original poster

SnailsEverywhere · 11/08/2017 11:05

I called the police while the men were still in the garden and while I was crying and shaking after just being attacked by them. I wasn't thinking about charges or anything more than "I've just been attacked so I should call the police". Surely in that situation then the last thing on my mind would be worrying about police time. What if the neighbours were going to come back? I didn't know if I was still at risk or not did I?

My housemate is a man, not that it makes him immune to the neighbours but he would fight them back/defend himself/manage better overall if they tried anything - he isn't scared of them like I was/am.

I'll ring the police non emergency number and ask more details about pressing charges. I can go to minor injuries and get the bruise documented, my arm is really sore in general around it and the skin feels tight, swollen maybe, annoying. Would still prefer not to press charges before I go away though because I'm paranoid about the dogs.

Neighbours were awake all night and still in their garden so I didn't sleep til 5am since they were so noisy. I had to let the dogs out to wee 1 by 1 and on a lead by the back door out of view of neighbours (they were around corner of the wall in their own garden but it's a terraced house so they can see everything in my garden except a small part because of the wall). I was terrified they'd see me or the dogs and try to come over again

OP posts:

thehousethatjillbuilt · 11/08/2017 11:08

Press charges. What if the next person hits their head as they're slammed into the wall and ends up with a brain injury.

SometimesMaybe · 11/08/2017 11:12

do your Council have a complaints line for bad neighbours? You just get in touch with the council Every Single Time - the council/landlords can't do anything about it unless people repeatedly complain. Keep a diary, film/video the noise. You have to be as active as possible about nightmare neighbours.

hatsoncats · 11/08/2017 11:20

Minor injuries, photograph all bruises, ring police & press charges.
Say that you were too frightened & intimidated before & that you are afraid of repercussions.
Not pressing charges will send them the clear signal that they can assault & get away with it.

Icequeen01 · 11/08/2017 11:57

Totally agree with Shatners, what was the point of calling the police but then not taking it any further? Presumably the neighbour's now know you called the police so will be (unjustifiably of course), pissed off with you anyway.

LuLuuuuuuu · 11/08/2017 12:17

I would have composed myself , tried to stop my anger and if that failed, go into their f'king garden and hurt the fuckers . That's me though and I do have anger issues . .What a bastard , , hope you are ok OP

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