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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for advice on how I can reduce noise in my house?

31 replies

Farontothemaddingcrowd · 10/08/2017 23:51

Firstly apologies as I know it's not unreasonable to ask. I'm worried that our neighbours hate us and we are a noisy family Sad. They have been banging on the wall at night - sometimes when there is no noise whatsoever which confuses me. Tonight we got back late and so the kids didn't get into bed till 11. My neighbour banged loudly on the wall and shouted 'shut up.' I can only think that maybe I was too loud when asking the kids to go to bed. I was having a phone convo with a friend at about 10.30. So maybe that disturbed them?
I am worried that we are too loud so I'm wondering how to reduce the noise. I am a bit upset to be honest and so was my daughter.

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LadyWithLapdog · 10/08/2017 23:57

Do you have carpets rather than floorboards? Keep TV and radio off unless you're actively watching/listening. An earlier bedtime for all.

ethelfleda · 10/08/2017 23:57

Your neighbour sounds like an arse to be honest. Why can't they come and talk to you about what specifically is bothering them?! I can't imagine a simple normal level conversation can have someone banging the walls and yelling shut up at you!!

Original poster
Farontothemaddingcrowd · 11/08/2017 00:04

We have floorboards so it possibly could be making it worse. I'll get the bedrooms carpeted.
I'm worried that I can't speak to my boyfriend on the phone at night anymore.
Will try earlier bedtimes. The kids do argue at times but we are not loud party people. I'm really upset though. I'm a single parent and the garden is a mess (gardener coming next week) so feel like they hate us. That's probably in my head. I'd like to talk to them but i probably won't. Thankfully the kids are with their dad this weekend and I'll go to my boyfriend's so I won't bother them at all Sad

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Original poster
Farontothemaddingcrowd · 11/08/2017 00:04

I was once listening to a song through my phone at about 10 and they banged. My phone surely can't be that loud!

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Original poster
Farontothemaddingcrowd · 11/08/2017 00:05

They never did this when xh was here either.

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OutToGetYou · 11/08/2017 00:06

I think carpets will make a massive difference, get a good underlay as you can afford. Bookshelves filled with books are good too, for softening sound.
More cushions and other soft furnishings, thicker curtains.
Though your neighbours do sound very unpleasant.

OutToGetYou · 11/08/2017 00:07

Hmmm, they didn't want to confront a man but are happy to harangue a woman? Nice!

Original poster
Farontothemaddingcrowd · 11/08/2017 00:10

I will definitely get some nice soft thick carpets. Yes that's how I feel about it. The positive is that they've had a for sale sign up and then it said sold. The sign is gone now and they have been there for months but I'm hoping it's just taking a while to go through

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Aquamarine1029 · 11/08/2017 00:18

I think you should talk to your neighbours. Go to them and express your concerns that you are somehow disturbing them. Ask what is the issue with the supposed noise. You get more bees with honey, so perhaps you can nurture a more sympathetic relationship with them.

Original poster
Farontothemaddingcrowd · 11/08/2017 00:20

I would love to do that but I suspect my anxiety will paralyze me and I literally will not be able to do it.
I looked at carpets and I just don't think I can afford to get the laminate in the bedrooms ripped out and replaced with carpet just yet. Do you think a large rug might help a little?

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ethelfleda · 11/08/2017 01:56

I think a large rug would help loads...
you can use it to warp the body in
Grin

Andyjb23 · 11/08/2017 02:34

Anything to absorb the sound - soft furnishings, curtains, cushions, rugs, wallpapered walls, carpets

Anything to break up sound reflections - bookcases, lampshades, pictures on walls

These will go someway to helping, but the noise transferred will depend on the house construction but also his decoration and furnishings.
If he's got laminate as well the noise is easily transferred won't get absorbed his side!

Original poster
Farontothemaddingcrowd · 11/08/2017 08:12

How is this in a card.
Sorry for any noise that has bothered you. I realise we can be a noisy household especially during the summer holidays. Can I ask that you let me know if any noise bothers you in future so that I know exactly what is disturbing you. My 11 year old was a bit upset by the banging on her wall last night. We will try to keep noise to a minimum especially in the evening.
Thanks
Neighbour

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Original poster
Farontothemaddingcrowd · 11/08/2017 08:41

Just talking to my 11 year old dd and we are genuinely racking our brains as to what noise was disturbing them. She said she can't hear me on the phone from my bedroom which adjoins hers so I doubt the neighbours could?!

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HareTodayDragonTomorrow · 11/08/2017 08:45

No no no no. You don't sound like you're being unreasonable with noise levels. So don't give them something in writing saying you are a noisy household.
Get some rugs for the areas you walk most on.
Don't wear shoes, or wear soft ones like crocs inside.
Ignore.
Let them prove you're being unreasonably loud.

HareTodayDragonTomorrow · 11/08/2017 08:47

If you're renting, writing a letter admitting you are a noisy family could potentially be used for your eviction or refusal to renew a lease if your neighbour sends it to your landlord.

Original poster
Farontothemaddingcrowd · 11/08/2017 08:47

I own my house.

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Original poster
Farontothemaddingcrowd · 11/08/2017 08:48

But yes, I take your point there.

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Original poster
Farontothemaddingcrowd · 11/08/2017 08:50

I'm just upset that they did that last night and disturbed my daughter. I notice their car was gone v early this morn so possibly working early shifts? Might explain grumpiness

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Cupcake1315 · 11/08/2017 08:55

Please don't send it. Don't give them anything in writing regardless if you rent or own. They sound awful. I have two young kids and I'm sure we make noise.

But I would expect my neighbour to talk to me not bang on my walls, scaring my children.

Badweekjustgotworse · 11/08/2017 08:55

far I think that's a perfectly reasonable note to send.

HareTodayDragonTomorrow · 11/08/2017 09:03

I think you should start a diary of when they bang, and write honestly next to it what has been going on in your house.

Then write a note something like
Dear Neighbour
You have banged on our walls x times in the past 3 weeks. We would like to ask you to stop as it is upsetting our children. Please don't hesitate to contact me on (phone number) if you need to speak to me.
Yours sincerely
You

Original poster
Farontothemaddingcrowd · 11/08/2017 09:11

Thank you I really like that idea. Sadly it is just me and the children so I feel a bit more alone. I will do that. Dd hears them shouting at each other sometimes and their dog barks at night. I'll record that too.

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OutToGetYou · 11/08/2017 11:28

It would be interesting to set up some kind of listening device to see if they bang on the walls when you're not even there....

HareTodayDragonTomorrow · 11/08/2017 11:28

We had a similar issue, but it was a machine noise that was annoying the neighbours below us. Tried everything, servicing it, replacing for a silent model etc etc. It went on for about 6 months until the last time they complained about it, i was able to say "not us, we were on holiday!" Turns out it as the neighbour on their side they could hear, but they'd just assumed it was us as we were above. We all have interconnecting bathroom extraction vents and the sound travels through that. Shutting doors makes a huge difference in the sound we hear from the other flats. Do you have any vents/pipes/cabling tunnels that interconnect?