To expect the whole family to sit at the dinner table until everyone has finished?

[user1498912461]

I cook most of the meals in our house, some from scratch that require a lot of effort. DH loves his food and is a fast eater. He hoovers up his food within a couple of minutes and leaves the table. I'm then left alone with the kids. AIBU to think this is rude? I've told DH this and he got defensive and said no-one tells him what to do. Sigh. I told him he was being very rude and not teaching our children good table manners. It's like I've got a stroppy teenager on my hands!

Eat most of your dinner in the kitchen whilst cooking. Serve yourself a TINY portion. Eat thin 2 mouthfuls hen get up and go upstairs and leave him with the children at the dinner table to deal with them.

Do this every night for a few weeks until he gets the message he is being a rude prick.

How do you spilt the house work in general?

to his latest excuse.

Send him back to the 1950s where he belongs.

Rude.

If he finishes first then he should help with the kids whilst you eat your dinner.

That's what me and DH do. Although I have to be honest DH would love to leave the table too but after I told him he has realised it was rude. He also didn't have set meal times growing up.

Sitting at the dinner table enjoying time with your family - that's not a break?

He's opting out of parenting.

I bet it's just so he doesn't have to deal with two young children.

Is he going to start helping from now on then?

I didn't cook meals, growing up. It's just as well we can learn new skills as adults, isn't it?

It's definitely very rude and setting a poor example to the kids.

If he never ate a family meal round the table when he was growing up, it's just about possible he genuinely didn't know it was bad manners - but now that you've explained to him that is, he needs to accept it and grow up.

Why don't you serve them dinner then take yours into the living room and eat in peace. He can stay and supervise the children.

He's good around the house thank god. Tends to make a song and dance whenever he does a job/cleans though!

Tends to make a song and dance whenever he does a job/cleans though!

I bloody hope you ignore him?? Also i think that's gives you justification to make a huge song and dance everything mine you cook?

I was going to say my 3 year old struggles to stay sitting through a whole meal but we're working on it, but your DH! Rude and lazy.

Rude.

Hipster hunters post hilarious - try it

He's now apologised (weakly) so I asked him if he'll stay at the table in future. He said he will but won't be held "to ransom" oh dear lord

sounds to me like he's dodging out of the childcare/mealtime routine....why don't you just fuck off and leave him to it....see how he likes it...then he might realise that that things work better when you are working together as a team.....as for the bullshit about not eating together when he was younger, what the fuck kind of excuse is that ?? He needs to grow up

The "not helping with the children" would annoy me.

As for rudeness of leaving the table before others ... I sit on the fence. I was brought up that you had to wait until all were finished, and even then, ask permission to "leave the table". My DH was brought up differently, you were expected to leave the table when you were finished (taking your plate with you) rather than sit and stare at (and probably wind up) others still eating.

i had an ex who did this, said it wasnt his fault he finished before i did. soon changed his tune when every time we had sex id make sure i came first then id get up and leave the room saying sorry not my fault i finished first...... by the third time i did it he got the point

Sounds like a stroppy teen! I would hate that, it's demonstrating a lack of respect to you, very poor table manners to the children and is totally thoughtless. He should be helping you with the DC, sod what a hard day he had at work, I bet you're not sat on your arse all day, are you? Stop cooking for the twat.

Does he not help with the DC's at mealtime? I would no longer be cooking for him if he is no longer a part of the family. We have always had meals together (other than when someone was working late/at school or sports activity) - it's my favorite part of the day and when DC's were little it was lovely to hear about their day - no one left the table until the meal was finished.

What does he do in a restaurant - leave when he is finished?

Sounds like you have three children to teach table manners OP .... best of luck.

Just because he was badly brought up, doesn't mean your children have to suffer the same fate.

Have your dinner later OP and take yourself off for a bath. He can supervise the kids tomorrow.

I would very calmly tell him that it is totally up to him how he behaves. But unfortunately you just cannot see the point in cooking for someone who bolts his food and leaves. So the choice is his whether he wants you to cook for him or not.

My DH hates family meals and only rarely sits with us. I wish we could have proper family meals like I used to have growing up but he doesn't like to eat with other people. When we go to his parents he leaves the table as soon as he can. He will help my son to eat but not eat his own food at the same time -they have separate lunchtimes during the day.