To not want to go on this holiday?

[Mynewballoon]

DP's new business venture looks like it could be quite successful quite soon. His business partner has suggested that to celebrate we should go for a little holiday - DP and I and business partner and his GF. A beach/pool holiday.

Whilst I appreciate that this is a bit of a 1st world problem, my issue is this - 4 people on holiday, 3 of them are very good looking and 1 of them (me) is still 2 stone overweight after having a baby and the least body confident I've ever been. DP and business partner are both very good looking and GF is about 10 yrs younger than me and looks like a model. I could cry just thinking about it.

I should mention I've always struggled with self esteem and body confidence and weight.

I think I would feel the same. Any chance you can find some flattering clothes that make you feel sexy? Shame to miss out.

I refused a holiday this year for the same reason. Except it was my SIL and BIL (SIL isn't thin or model like herself but she is body confident) and it's 4st not 2

We had other reasons too, couldn't actually afford it in the end, but I was so relieved.

Can you suggest a city break rather than a beach break and book a boutique hotel without a pool? Why would they want to go on a beach holiday??

You are celebrating before it is actually successful. Cart before horse.

I reckon going on holiday in those circumstances and with a young baby would be quite stressful. Do this other couple have children? If not, that's a very good reason not to go - they are probably envisaging hanging glamorously around pools and going to sophisticated bars and restaurants, whilst you will be dealing with a hot, fretful baby out of it's routine and not sleeping.
I'd suggest a swanky night out somewhere near home, with a babysitter for your DC as being much more enjoyable and manageable.

The GF won't look at you. I think you should go but maybe buy something nice to wear.

I've seen all sorts on holidays and I never judge - I'm there for the sun and swimming pool - nice food and time with the kids

Go - they want your company!!

Don't go. It sounds boring!

I think it would be a shame to miss out too.

Is there anything that would make you feel better about going?

I'm on holiday and there are so many different body types and no one seems to give a monkeys but its about how you feel.

In the nicest if ways inthink you should suck it up.

Why miss out in what could be a fantastic break away because of other people there will be people who are preitter and snaller then them and people who are bigger then you there.

Go have fun.

If you can affird it why not have a small shopping trip with the girlfriend. Get simething thatll make youbfeel more confident.

Do you like these people? Do you think you'll have fun with them? If so, then go and try not to worry too much. If the answer is 'No' or 'I barely know them', then hell no, don't go.

Honestly, go! It'll all be fine.

How would you feel if it was reversed and your DP said he wouldn't go on holiday as he wouldn't look as hot as the other guy? Can't you see that would be ridiculous? There's no competing - they're just your friends.

And rain is forecast here!

You could suggest somewhere like Iceland?

FWIW - my mum was a bit like this. She avoided photos as she always wanted to lose weight. It makes me sad how few photos we have of her as we all loved her just the way she was.

Buy yourself some lovely and flattering beach/pool wear -it doesn't have to be bikinis, some lovely swimsuits teamed with colourful sarongs, floaty kaftans, soft sundresses. If it would make you feel better you could go to a beauty salon and get a wrap (they do actually work!) to help with a bit of tightness and skin tone. Lots of salons do a pre holiday deal including a facial, wax, wrap and mani/pedi. I always like to have one before I go.
I really do understand how you feel. I had an eating disorder and it was torture imagining I looked dreadful next to all these beautiful people. I think you will find if you speak to the people you perceive as perfect you will find they ALL have their own insecurities and think you look ten times better than you think you look. Honestly. I'm in really good shape (athlete) and I can say hand on heart I still think yuck on occasion when I look in the mirror. I then have to give myself a good old shake and telling off and say that life is too short to be so concerned about such crap and to get out there and enjoy myself. Please please don't beat yourself up. I actually guarantee everyone thinks you look better than you think you do.

Do you actually know and like these people well enough to want to go away with them, regardless of how you feel? Where will the baby be?

I wouldn't go at all.

"looks like it could be quite successful quite soon" sounds like the "up" part of the start up rollercoaster. In my experience, in short order it will suddenly seem like nothing will work out, then it'll go back up again and so on for a while. Are you really comfortable spending money on this vacation before the business is more secure? I'd start there and then worry about the vacation itself.

Go, get some beach cover ups. I know it's hard - I struggle with my body image and my best friend is genuinely a size 6/8 goddess - but they won't care. They won't be thinking about it. I'm going to be brutal - they know what size you are if they've seen you in clothes! If you would genuinely enjoy the holiday but for this then you'd be cutting off your nose to spite your face

Before I had dd, I was that thin friend. My friend was overweight and her sister was obese. We were around the same age but I looked a lot younger. They were lovely people. I wasn't looking at them thinking you're fat you're fat you're fat etc. Post dd, I am now about 3st overweight. So I can see it from both sides. I agree with pps to get nice swimsuits and sarongs.

I have a very body confident fat friend. She looks amazing because she makes the effort. Shiny hair, nails done, nice bikinis, wraps and sunglasses. She doesn't make any issue of her weight either positively or negatively.
It's a frame of mind. I'm pretty sure the modelesque girlfriend is well used to being the stunner. If she is a "natural" beauty it isn't an issue for them and she won't be judging you.

Im sure you aren't all going to be spending the whole holiday parading, catwalk like, along the poolside.

Some people are more attractive. That's just life.

I'm expected to feel sorry for the young attractive successful women in my family, because although I'm far and tired looking, I'm the one with the husband and kids 🙄

Aw bless you. You should def go - I bet you are gorgeous, if your DP is I'm sure you are too. As some others have said buy some lovely floaty cover ups if it makes you feel better. You'll also find you don't care once you are there. I worried before my holiday - costumes bought very carefully and no bikinis etc. When I got out there I saw far larger people than me in bikinis and all sorts and I wished I hadn't worried as much!

Depends how old your child is.

It could be great, or a total disaster.

Oh my god
Please please please don't miss out on wonderful experiences for the sake of body confidence
None of us know what's around the corner and when our health or opportunities can be snatched away so take every chance you get to have a good time!
Pop a sarong on and order a cocktail.
Everyone will only be thinking of how they themselves look anyway!
Go go go
Please! X