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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cockblocking children

56 replies

Gincision · 09/08/2017 20:50

We're on holiday. We have 2 sons aged 9 and 11.

Without fail, every bloody night one of them can't sleep, or has a nightmare, or a tummy pain, or some other ill defined problem.

How the fuck do you actually have sex when you have kids this age????? AIBU to actually want sex again before they leave home?

OP posts:
Hadafuckfull · 09/08/2017 21:18

Teens are worse, stay up until early hours but also have the ears of bats. DD can sense we are about to indulge I'm sure, she always makes a trip to the loo just to let us know she's awake. It's a nightmare. Haven't had full sex for at least 2 months and we've been on holiday during that time too.

talonofthehawk · 09/08/2017 21:27

IF you wanted to have sex, you would.
All excuses.

BitOutOfPractice · 09/08/2017 21:29

Seriously, at 9 and 11 they need to be less toddler-ish, even at night Confused

Silverthorn · 09/08/2017 21:29

Get a door wedge. Wink

Mellie1025 · 09/08/2017 21:31

I have the same problem but it's with an eight year old with daddy issues. He won't even have sex while she's in the house.

Can she please move out already LOL

IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday · 09/08/2017 21:32

I'm with you OP, I've never told my DC they aren't allowed to come into my bedroom if they are afraid/having a nightmare. Why would you do that?Hmm

sofato5miles · 09/08/2017 21:34

OP, sounds v normal to me. Lock the door and crack on!

Girty999 · 09/08/2017 21:36

Mine are the same, one asd and struggles to switch off but if he does the 6 year old has important things to discuss, mornings are a big no as DH is up at 0430 for a mad commute so we usually end up having a fast and furious lol x

TroelsLovesSquinkies · 09/08/2017 21:38

You lock your door for all of the time it takes wait long enough it can be a really fast quickie then unlock it when you are done.
We used to wait for the Simpsons to start at that age, guaranteed a 30 min slot of time. The we re emerged with me in my Jammies and Dh would switch the TV in the bedroom on and watch that for a while.
They never even looked up from the couch.

bangingmyheadoffabrickwall · 09/08/2017 21:39

I stick obstacles in the way of the door!

1st we can hear DS's door being rived open on the carpet. 2nd, he has to navigate his way around obstacles in our doorway, joint 2nd, is we can hear out door being forced open, 3rd there is a small passageway before he reaches the view of our bed!

Plenty time to re-assemble the clothing and bed sheets before being rumbled.

We have had a very close shave once!

DD is in a cot still at 2.5 years - AND that's ONE of the reasons why. She's stealth, DS is more like a herd of elephants!

ALemonyPea · 09/08/2017 21:41

I have a 14 year old, been years since DH and I have had spontaneous sex as he's normally always awake when we go to bed.

Minkyfluffster · 09/08/2017 21:43

Bathroom? tell them you are fixing something? lock door?

Purplemac · 09/08/2017 21:44

Aw OP I feel for you. Kids always wake so much more on holiday!

DH and I are lucky that DSD has always been a good sleeper, but we taught her very early on to knock on our door before coming in (and then to only come straight in if we say it's ok!) And to get herself out of bed and making her breakfast and reading downstairs when she wakes up, so it's always morning sex here!

Piratesandpants · 09/08/2017 21:44

Oh this is just what mine are like op! At home when we're too shattered on a week night - they're fast asleep instantly. On holiday they're up and down like yoyos with various non-issues Grin

MrsKoala · 09/08/2017 21:47

Depends what type of sex you want. If you are happy with quick quiet under the duvet sex then it's possible, or doing it while listening out for them thinking they could knock or walk in at any moment. We'd rather not bother if that was the only option - which it is. So we don't.

Doilooklikeatourist · 09/08/2017 21:48

Stick the kids in holiday club , back to the room and put the do not disturb on the door
Or , in the bathroom , quickly whilst ""you're cleaning your teeth ""

Auspiciouspanda · 09/08/2017 21:50

The shower, the morning or at night before they come in .

SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 09/08/2017 21:51

We've just put a lock on our bedroom door. DH proposed using it a few nights ago. As I was about to answer, a small voice piped up "can I have a cup of water". It was past midnight, and that's the heavy sleeper.

There's no chance on holiday when we share a sleeping compartment in a tent.

I think DS2 is on a mission to ensure he can never suffer middle child syndrome. He has us covered by being resistant to get to sleep, then frequently sneaking in at some random point in the night.

InvisibleKittenAttack · 09/08/2017 21:54

Holiday club.

Accept they can't share a room?

LuluJakey1 · 09/08/2017 21:55

Have a 32 month old and 4 month old. Both good sleepers on the whole but now DS has a bed he gets out of it if he wakes up. There is a gate so he can't get off the landing but he can come into our room and he does. Trots in, wants to get in our bed. Last week caught us early in the morning. Popped up at the side of the bed. We have started locking the door- it still has its old slidey lock button.

TheFreaksShallInheritTheEarth · 09/08/2017 21:55

Sex... sex... ? ...ah yes, I remember that! Messy, sweaty business, but not without its charm.
I have two youngest having holiday sleepovers at the moment, and generally up till well after grownup sleeping time. DH working away a lot, and we're all just about to go on holiday and be sharing one big room for two weeks.
My nethers are going to close up and fuse together from lack of use.

LaArdilla · 09/08/2017 21:56

Tell them in uncertain terms that the next one who wakes you up gets on the next flight home, or they suffer some other punishment the day after as you would do for bad behaviour. My kids are under 7 and neither one does the babyish 'wakeup' shit anymore. They just know full well not to and are long grown out of that attention-seeking pettiness.

9 and 11 and crying about tummy aches and cups of milk. Video it next time and tell them you'll present it to their class. They're doing it because they know you'll go in and baby them. Roar your head off next time. Won't happen again.

IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday · 09/08/2017 22:13

Gosh there's some charmers on this thread Hmm

bimbobaggins · 10/08/2017 06:23

Just do without on holiday if they aren't normally like this, I thought that's what most parents did.

Cailleach666 · 10/08/2017 06:35

You can't be that keen if you won't consider early morning sex.

Wait until you get home.