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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be told I am made of stone

63 replies

Partypolitics99 · 09/08/2017 16:53

By a friend today as I am not wound up about the situation with North Korea
She is up all night scared to death and is stockpiling food and is a far as I can see scaring her kids to death talking about it
I am the more if it happens it happens and there is dam all I can do about it so I am not worrying about it. Of course I give it the odd passing though and sometimes the news makes me go "oh shit" but that's it.
She said I am made of stone

OP posts:

DCITennison · 09/08/2017 16:55

What's the question?

Original poster

Partypolitics99 · 09/08/2017 16:57

I suppose the question is she correct thinking I am made of stone

OP posts:

formerbabe · 09/08/2017 16:58

Well then I must be made of stone too. I slept soundly last night and haven't stock piled anything!

Whiterabbitears · 09/08/2017 16:58

You're not made of stone, I think with constant 24 hour news we can become a bit desensitised to it all. I am very concerned about Trump and how he might fuck up the world but its pointless to scare the kids or staying up all night panicking. Maybe she has really bad anxiety in general.

Anecdoche · 09/08/2017 16:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PollyFlint · 09/08/2017 16:59

I'm not really sure what the problem is here. What your friend said really wasn't a big deal. People worry about different things (in this case, your friend worries about a nuclear war and you worry about an incredibly mild comment she made).

You are not unreasonable to be unbothered by the prospect of nuclear war. You are unreasonable to be so bothered by practically nothing that you're posting about it on Mumsnet looking for validation over it.

TroysMammy · 09/08/2017 17:00

My DM once told me I don't have a sentimental bone in my body because I scoffed as her crying when Scott and Charlene got married in Neighbours .

I refuse to get worked up by anything, if it happens, it happens and there is no point in worrying about something until you've actually got something to worry about.

scatterolight · 09/08/2017 17:01

I'm not a fan of the shrugging shoulders nihilism that is so commonplace these days. I think people do need to be engaged and aware of what is going on in the world, and also be concerned about it where concern is warranted.

However in this particular case your friend has been gaslit by the hysterical media. The situation with NK is still very, very unlikely to develop further. And if it does it is even more unlikely that it will affect the UK. Your friend needs to control her emotions as it is not fair on her kids to make them think armageddon is around the corner.

Original poster

Partypolitics99 · 09/08/2017 17:01

I have never known her to have bad anxiety in general but then again she does pick up on some things. A couple of years ago it was the end of the world thing

OP posts:

Brittbugs80 · 09/08/2017 17:01

It's just NK flexing their muscles.

You're not made of stone, but your friend seems to be at the higher end of panic, does she normally panic over things in the news?

I've a friend who no longer travels abroad or into London in case of terrorist attacks and there is no reasoning with her. She finds it difficult to process any kind of logic or reasoning and will always believe BBC and the Daily Fail without seeking other sources.

upperlimit · 09/08/2017 17:01

I think it's a complement. Maybe I'm maladjusted but I'd take it as one. Anyway, you know which house to ram raid on if things go south

Original poster

Partypolitics99 · 09/08/2017 17:03

If no one posted looking for validation on things or asking peoples opinions on something that has happened I don't think mumsnet would be half as popular.
If you think what I have posted is that boring and unreasonable then move on

OP posts:

DCITennison · 09/08/2017 17:04

Ok, no I don't think she's right.
I slept just fine too.
When I was 11 I went through a period of being extremely anxious about various things, arson, war, gangs... it was horrendous and debilitating and very frightening, if I still had that anxiety now then I think the current news would have me in a state.
But I haven't felt anxious in that way for decades thank goodness.
I can't fully understand people who feel the way your friend do, it just seems nonsensical to me now but I can sympathise with how it feels.

Original poster

Partypolitics99 · 09/08/2017 17:05

I think the main thing that is getting to me is she is scaring her kids to death so much that the oldest can't sleep in her own bed any more and the youngest is having nightmares

OP posts:

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 09/08/2017 17:06

I haven't worried about it.

I did do some prepping but I've worked through my supplies, better start building them up again, just in case Kim and Donald do actually have a face off .

elfycat · 09/08/2017 17:08

I spent my youth carefree; unaware of the Cold War.

I owe the same to my young daughters. And I'm fairly pragmatic and I'm not going to worry about something I have no control over. I slept well last night and I'll sleep well tonight. I haven't prepped my kitchen cupboard.

I am considering getting another bottle of wine in though... for surviving FB posts and memes from the hysterical on my feed. (I'm not suggesting all worrying or prepping is hysteria. I did a hint when I was pregnant in the middle of the swine flu thing).

astoundedgoat · 09/08/2017 17:09

Your friend is demented. If she was that alert to the news and international affairs, she would also be aware that nothing is going to happen. NK has been pulling stunts like this for many, many years. The difference is that for the last 8 years the US had a level-headed leader who didn't get involved in the international equivalent of Daily Mail comment wars.

Do you (or rather, your friend) live in the UK? She might want to consider some counselling for anxiety if she is so severely affected by things like this.

SomeOtherFuckers · 09/08/2017 17:09

Was she raised in the Cold War ? I find that Gen are sometimes more sensitive to fears of bombs/nukes because of propaganda in their childhood.
Doesn't scare me - if it happens we're screwed and no amount of stockpiled food will save us from our eyes melting out

nina2b · 09/08/2017 17:10

Your friend is bonkers.

TheABC · 09/08/2017 17:14

I am with the Dalai Lama on this one. "If you can do something about a problem, it is not a problem and therefore there is no need to worry.
If you do nothing about the problem, worry will not solve it, so why waste your energy doing so?"

I remain engaged and hopeful that the Big Orange Idiot actually has someone around to stop him. Less sure about Noth Korea, but as they are dependent on China, I suspect they will stop short of outright war in case it pisses off their neighbour. It's also worth remembering a missile that can reach Washington will also reach the Chinese capital. I can't see the chinese government being thrilled about the doorstep threat.

RandomDent · 09/08/2017 17:16

Even if it dies kick off, there's nothing we can do, and I'd rather go instantly than have to survive in the cupboard under the stairs on tinned lentils, and poo in a bucket.
I read Protect & Survive as a child and I've sworn off prepping the OFRS ever since.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 09/08/2017 17:18

Being told you're made of stone was unnecessarily insulting. It implies you have no compassion or emotion about anything. Your friend would probably be pretty put out if you told her she was a bag of hysterical nerves.

Frightening her dc is a step too far imo. Her children will take what she says at face value and are likely quite traumatised by her state of anxiety.

Spudlet · 09/08/2017 17:21

It is scary, but there's very little we can do about it. Stockpiles of food aren't going to help much if we get nuked (and we have a number of US and RAF bases fairly nearby so I don't hold out much hope for our survival).

Ultimately I don't think it will come to nuclear war. NK would be obliterated and they must realise that. Even assuming they do have a nuclear weapon, their stockpile will be dwarfed by the US one, and I've also read articles saying that if NK strike first, China will also turn on them. Trump is an unparalleled idiot but he does have people around him who would (hopefully) control his most idiotic instincts when it comes to something as crucial as this. I'm not blasé about it but I live in hope that in the end, we will be ok.

Viviennemary · 09/08/2017 17:22

It is being made into a bit of a sensation by some of the press. DM especially. One of these days one of these nutty dictators won't be bluffing.

LaurieFairyCake · 09/08/2017 17:23

I'm not remotely anxious about things outside my control, I've not given Trump/Korea a passing thought.

There's no point worrying about things outside your sphere of influence.

I vote, lobby, discuss, and read the quality press. I also occasionally put pressure on my MP. That's it.

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