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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Choosing which item you want - is it rude?

66 replies

Jennyhatesjazz0 · 09/08/2017 15:22

Today I was in a well known bakery (think steak bake - don't judge) treating myself to an apple danish.

I asked for it, then asked if I could have the second one along as the one nearest her looked a bit manky. She did it but exchanged a 'look' with her colleague next to her (rolled eyes etc...) I know I should have said something but chickened out.

I can only assume it was because I asked for a specific one - was that rude? As a customer, paying for an item, shouldn't I be able to choose which item I want?!

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 09/08/2017 16:12

If all the people Mumsnetters seem to think are rolling their eyes at them really were it would be a positive epidemic!

Aardfart · 09/08/2017 16:16

YANBU to choose the one you want. Don't bother saying anything to them it's not worth it. Just enjoy your non-manky apple danish.

GreeboIsACutePussPuss · 09/08/2017 16:21

I don't think it's rude. My local bakery actually asks any particular one when you order

CheeseAndOnionIcecream · 09/08/2017 16:35

I have no qualms about doing this. I get sick of the Greggs in my high street trying to palm me off with the over cooked pizza slice or pasty. You think they'd have got wise to me by now,but no,they still try it on. Several years ago I was getting a breakfast in a BHS cafe. When it came to putting the bacon on my plate,the woman picked up a nice,fresh looking piece with hardly any fat on it first of all,then she changed her mind,dropped it back in the tray and picked up a well manky dried up piece. The look I got when I said 'Actually,could I have the first piece you picked up?'. I did notice that she was giving all the men in the queue nice looking pieces. I love women like that.

rainbowpie · 09/08/2017 16:40

I quite often ask for a specific cake. It didn't occur to me that it may be rude. I want the biggest piece available because I'm a greedy pig Grin

Frankswife87 · 09/08/2017 16:47

Yanbu at all op, you are paying so you should be able to choose.

Jaxhog · 09/08/2017 16:48

If you're paying, of course you can choose what you want! I would.
Why should you risk getting the manky slice?

KerryLeanne84 · 09/08/2017 16:49

Not rude at all! I asked for a corner brownie in a cafe today cos I prefer them. Some people prefer middle brownies. They can F off with their looks!

WiIdfire · 09/08/2017 16:53

I do that with cooked breakfast items, because I want the dried up crispy bit of bacon, the hard cooked fried egg thats been out ages and the almost black sausage. They usually look at me as if I'm mad but are please they can sell the bits no-one else wants!

brightlightceiling · 09/08/2017 16:57

You are the one buying it so you are the one choosing it. Either she sells you that one or you vote with your feet.

She was rude with the eye roll

Italiangreyhound · 09/08/2017 16:58

Of course you should ask for and have one that is not 'manky'.

You could have said, was that an eye roll, because if you don't want me to ask for a specific pastry, make sure they all look appetizing! But she probably have said " What eye roll" and then bitched after you left.

Or you cold have quipped "Did I just get my first eye roll of the day, how lovely."

Let her have her rude eye roll, an dyou hvae your nuce danish.

Italiangreyhound · 09/08/2017 16:59

nice Danish.

FluffyWhiteSlippers · 09/08/2017 17:04

You're overthinking it. She probably hates her job and bonding with her colleagues over fussy customers gets her through the day. Not that it is right, but I'd cut her some slack. It's just an eye roll from a stranger.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 09/08/2017 17:05

I did this in an ice cream shop. The tub was nearly empty, just manky crusty stuff around the edges and melty bits in the bottom.
There was a new tub behind.

I ask for ice cream. Assistant starts scraping the manky crusty stuff out of the old tub. So I asked if I could have from the new tub. I got a look too.

MsHarry · 09/08/2017 17:19

I do this with ready roasted chickens, it's never been a problem. Customers can select just as you would if it was in self service. They were rude.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 09/08/2017 17:27

Was she young? It sounds like an immature reaction, but more understandable if she was a teen. A lot of teen girls are in a constant state of eye rolling/ tutting at fairly normal requests.

EvansOvalPies · 09/08/2017 19:27

Regardless of age, an employee needs to know they don't eye-roll at a customer. Surely every customer-facing employee has some sort of training to go through? Induction days and such like?

MrsDustyBusty · 09/08/2017 19:28

If you are the customer, you should choose.

calmanban · 09/08/2017 19:33

Aww you've just reminded me of when I worked in a bakery when I was a teen. A tiny wee old lady would come in and ask for an iced bun every time. She'd always point at the one with the most icing and go 'that one please ' with a gorgeous look of anticipation in her eyes.

numbmum83 · 09/08/2017 19:33

My Mum does it in the chip shop with fish .
I always roll my eyes at her lol.

BanginChoons · 09/08/2017 19:35

I'd specify which one I wanted. I'd probably also actually say it was because the other one looked manky Shock

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 09/08/2017 19:37

I got an eye roll in similar circumstances last week, it was only 5 past 9 so by 5pm they probably go full Kill Bill attitude.

SnowiestMountain · 09/08/2017 19:37

I do this! I usually get 'the face' or an eye roll but it's worth it to get the nicest one! Grin

KimchiLaLa · 09/08/2017 20:00

It's not rude. We all know some pastries are fresher then others! Did you ask in a polite way?

RatsInTheWalls · 09/08/2017 20:01

I hate overly puffed up sausage rolls so I do the same!!