I haven't made up my mind yet and want to do the best thing for the bride and groom, so I'm asking for some MN thoughts please.
We have a wedding coming up in a few months. I'm really looking forward to it, but am a bit worried about the logistics. Our 2 DS (2yo and 6mo) are both invited. The bride is a close colleague of DH and we sometimes see them socially also.
The ceremony is 2 hours away and starts at 12:30, so we'd be leaving home at 10am to give some contingency time. The ceremony will likely last an hour and the reception is then a 1 hour drive from there. We are staying at a hotel close to the venue on the night of the wedding and DCs will have a one-off late night so we'll be present for as much of the reception as we can.
I'd love to go to it all, but I am a bit concerned about DCs being in a car/ expected to sit still in the ceremony/ back in the car for 4 hours straight before the reception. I can see DH and me managing tantrums/wriggliness, not seeing much of the ceremony (we would of course remove DSs if necessary), being pretty stressed for the reception and potentially one or both of us having to leave early.
Staying close to the ceremony the night before is a potential option, but more expense. All 4 of us in a room for 2 nights in a row would probably be a bit of a nightmare too as I'm not sure DS1 will sleep through DS2's sleep grunting/wriggling/night feeding.
WIBU to ask the bride and groom if they'd mind if we headed straight for the reception? We'd be leaving home about 1:30 for a 2:30 start and would be pretty confident that both DSs would make it through until reasonably late in the evening, with few issues. They've done this before.
I would of course check, not just unexpectedly fail to show. I'm just not sure whether this could potentially offend or upset.