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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a 5 year old should be able to eat with their mouth closed?

70 replies

Bathinginthedark · 08/08/2017 23:00

Just that really. It's basic manners to eat with your mouth closed, at the age of 5 they shouldn't be gum smacking, slurping and showing the world the contents of their mouth whilst they eat

OP posts:
Original poster
Bathinginthedark · 08/08/2017 23:51

I was clarifying for the poster who mentioned their child had additional needs which obviously it doesn't apply to and those giving medical advice - adenoids etc.

OP posts:
OuchLegoHurts · 08/08/2017 23:57

Does it really matter? They're FIVE!

Ellieboolou27 · 08/08/2017 23:57

I'm sure the disgusting things your child does doesn't have the other child's parents posting about them!

Pretty mean op, maybe just remind the child to eat nicely with their mouth closed. They are only 5!

Crumbs1 · 08/08/2017 23:59

I agree and wonder at what age it should be expected if not by five? What about not being able to use cutlery correctly by five? I was always surprised how many children couldn't hold a knife and fork properly by seven even. Normal healthy children. Just not had table manners taught.

DirigiblePlums · 09/08/2017 00:01

My teen dd does this she eats like a bloody dog but I've been telling g her off her whole life about it, she just does it anyway. She talks with her mouth full it's vile. My other dcs don't though and they are younger than her.

OuchLegoHurts · 09/08/2017 00:05

I didn't even give mine knives and forks at 5, only a small fork! We eat in restaurants at least once a week and they have picked up very good manners from eating socially. I never even thought of getting cross or punishing them for not eating with their mouths closed (as long as they weren't being actively rude and opening their mouths wide etc) as they were just young children. It happens naturally in my experience. And I am strict about behaviour while inn restaurants, noise levels etc

nokidshere · 09/08/2017 00:05

You wouldn't know if it's because if enlarged palate or adenoids though. Some people just can't breathe though their nose for whatever reason.

And "most" five year olds do not eat with their mouths closed anyway

Bananamama1213 · 09/08/2017 00:10

My children have really good tables manners - I don't think they've ever chewed with their mouth open. It's one of those things that grate on me, so I always say something.

Like my son likes to talk when he's eating, so as soon as he starts - I tell him not to. Sometimes he forgets but he always stops straight away and doesn't do it anymore that meal! He's 5.

Original poster
Bathinginthedark · 09/08/2017 00:11

Wasn't even aware it could be an actual problem for people, learn something new everyday

OP posts:
Imaginosity · 09/08/2017 00:24

OP - the child is only 5! Who cares! Look the other way. Not your child so no need to worry.

HeartStrings · 09/08/2017 00:25

My 5year old eats with his mouth shut

Mittens1969 · 09/08/2017 00:56

I'm constantly reminding my DDs to eat with their mouths shut, they're 8 and 5. They're doing better at it now, but there is still the problem that they talk with their mouths full of food. It's DD1 who is the main culprit tbh.

There are a few mealtime issues so it can be a case of picking your battles. My DDs are very fussy, that gets to me more than the table manners, which I do keep reminding them about but don't get stressed about.

Mamabear4180 · 09/08/2017 01:06

I think table manners in general are lost on 5 year olds mostly. It takes years for them to really get it but a parent who can't stand something will make a big deal of it and their child will probably comply with that one thing at least, they will probably need several hundred reminders throughout their childhood though because kids aren't as socially aware as adults and have less care for such things. So yabu to expect someone else's 5 year old to eat with their mouth shut but I do think it's gross and I'm pretty strict about this myself.

HiJenny35 · 09/08/2017 01:12

Yes it basic manners however these are 5 year olds and often they forget things or learn things at different rates. YABU 5 is only young and this is hardly something to be getting wound up about when a child is 5!!!!

Alpacaandgo · 09/08/2017 01:39

It's basic table manners. My 4 year old eats with their mouth closed because that's what I've taught them.

Some friends of the older ones have vile table manners and obviously have never been taught them at home which is sad for the child as they clearly don't realise.

I have had to remind mine on occasions as they've grown up but they've all been able to eat with mouths closed and use a knife and fork properly by age 5. It really isn't a difficult thing to teach. Just sometimes takes a bit of reminding.

PastaOfMuppets · 09/08/2017 02:27

This can be cultural too.
Relatives of mine lived in Asia for years and all do this now.

Genghi · 09/08/2017 05:47

Different priorities. To be honest eating with the mouth closed isn't all that important to me, but having the skill to eat tidily with your hands (i.ecnot messing up above the very tips of your fingers even when eating wet food) is.

BlueSofaPinkLamp · 09/08/2017 06:55

I have to say I agree with you, whilst I didn't know that some people could have a problem with it, I feel that it isn't going to be the majority! I can't stand watching anyone eat with their mouths open. My 4 and 6 year old eat with their mouths closed and have done as long as I can remember.

cliffdiver · 09/08/2017 07:06

5 year old DD eats with her mouth closed and she regularly reminds 3 year old DD if she doesn't do the same.

She does, however, make moany noises of pleasure if it's a particularly good meal Grin

cliffdiver · 09/08/2017 07:06

Oh, and gets food everywhere Hmm

thegirlupnorth · 09/08/2017 07:16

My son is unable to breath through his mouth and finds it very difficult to eat with his mouth closed, however he has good table manners and I actually think your post is more directed to those that haven't.

Acornantics · 09/08/2017 07:22

Be kind and remind if you wish, if they're 5, 10, or even 15 but don't feel smug because your darling has 'impeccable' table manners. It's down to good luck rather than superior parenting.

livefornaps · 09/08/2017 08:36

Play date went well I take it?

IHeartKingThistle · 09/08/2017 09:28

Alpaca don't be smug! I'm an absolute stickler for manners but have found this very difficult to crack with DS.

babsjonhson · 09/08/2017 09:31

My 4 year old eats with her mouth closed. When she remembers. I'm constantly reminding her "oh I forgot"
My 40 year old friend on the other hand constantly talks with his mouth stuffed full of food. It's so disgusting I won't eat with him anymore. He actually puts more in mid word.