Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel protective of DS, 19, who has recently gone bald

106 replies

DaisyLuke · 08/08/2017 19:56

DS has gone from normal hairline at 17 to literally a six o'clock horseshoe shadow and b*er all else at 19. We are talking a Prince William scenario on 2 years. Obviously he's rather sensitive about this. I wonder if I need to warn relatives he hasn't seem to a while in advance so he doesn't get the shocked reaction we just recently had at a family wedding. Some people who should know better (S'IL, take a bow) overreacted and I know it upset him. We've a few events coming up soon. Ideas?

OP posts:
grannytomine · 08/08/2017 20:59

I would get him to see a doctor. If there is something they can do then it is worth it.

I don't know if they work but there are things doctors can prescribe I think.

phlebasconsidered · 08/08/2017 21:00

It runs in my family. My dad and all my cousins were bald by twenty. Super hairy bodies though!

I will prepare my son for it. It doesn't make them any less attractive. My family are all big metal fans, a bald head and a beard just makes them look great! My cousins never lack for company.

I've also experienced complete hair loss, ended up totally bald and minus eyebrows and body hair. Reactions to women with hair loss are awful. Nowhere near as supportive.

Just tell him to ride with it, embrace it, shave his head, maybe cultivate some facial hair a la Tom Hardy. Looks great!

I just get Sinead O Connor references.

ShoesHaveSouls · 08/08/2017 21:01

OP, by all means warn family, but also, work on your lovely ds's self esteem.

My dsis is a beauty. Her dp is balding in his late 20's - classic horseshoe with fuzz on top. He shaves it all off, has grown a huge beard, (has a few tattoos too, but you might not want to mention that!) and there is no denying it - he looks cool. Facial hair is so, so fashionable at the moment, and I know the hipster beard isn't for everyone, but just stubble, goatee, whatever suits him - would work.

www.baldingbeards.com/bald-with-beard/

I think it's incredibly difficult for young men to lose their hair, (I mean, look at the trouble Trump goes to to disguise it...) so no wonder he's sensitive at 19.

BasketOfDeplorables · 08/08/2017 21:08

It must be tough to have to get used to a new appearance over such a short time.

He might feel like the only one now, but more of his friends will be joining him shortly. I know a good few men in their early twenties who have a shaved head for this reason. And more shave their heads just for the style.

I hope he feels better about it soon. I'm sure it really doesn't take away from his appearance.

Helendee · 08/08/2017 21:13

I also suggest some facial hair, looks great with bald head. I think your DS will get used to it in time, tell him that he looks great and that lots of women/guys love the look.

My niece' husband lost his hair mid-teens and is very handsome, it certainly never put women off him.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 08/08/2017 21:16

Oh poor thing. it happens to a lot of guys but must be tough being so young

If he's had all the blood tests and it's not medical has he tried Regaine? A (female) friend of mine was losing hair and diagnosed with male pattern baldness and the dr suggested it. It's over the counter at boots etc and not prescription.

I'm sure it doesn't make him look any less handsome but I do feel for him being sensitive. Take care Flowers

AnnieAnoniMouse · 08/08/2017 21:38

My brother started going bald really young too, he dyed it blue for some fancy dress thing then shaved it all off as he wasn't allowed it dyed at work. He just kept it shaved & told people that he really liked it shaved. His kids think the photos of him with hair (and he had a lot!) are hilarious and the youngest still doesn't believe it's her Daddy in those photos 😂 not that it's their Aunty who was very slim then I guess my brother was lucky though as he's tall, built like a brick outhouse & it suits him - plus, people probably wouldn't tell him if they thought it didn't 😂

Not sure about it coming down the mother's side, all my mum's side of the family keep their hair, my Dad didn't, but his Dad did. God knows.

Tootsiepops · 08/08/2017 21:45

I've seen some great tattooed hairlines on a shaved head - looks v convincing.

Tapandgo · 09/08/2017 10:57

I meant of course bald not bad!

Emily7708 · 09/08/2017 11:08

Someone just beat me to it but I was about to say he should look into a hair tattoo. Colleague of mine had one at a young age, it looks brilliant. He shaves his head but the tattooed hairline makes it look like he does it through choice.

HazelBite · 09/08/2017 11:26

I feel for you OP I have four sons and there is MPB on both sides of the family so my four have suffered.
DH who had a wonderful head of hair, when we married was shaving his head five years later.
Two of my lads have designer stubble that looks quite good with their shaved heads. One is using Regaine, and the other has grown an enormous beard.
Their lack of hair hasn't made much difference to them attracting a partner, they all have lovely other halves.
There's lots of retorts to comments, made "Moss never grows on a busy road" etc, but I think the best response is to look at the person who has made the comment, pause and say "Personally, I don't find it very polite or socially acceptable to comment on someones appearance", (I said this once to my uncle who had commented on my weight gain(medical reasons) his embarrassment was priceless)

BoneyBackJefferson · 09/08/2017 11:31

He needs to embrace it.

He also needs to sort out a series of comeback lines and you need to back him up on them.

If other people don't like the comeback lines it can be explained to them that they shouldn't be arseholes.

If it causes a rift in the family then they aren't worth knowing.

Cloudyapples · 09/08/2017 11:32

My dp went through the same and is absolutely convinced caffeine shampoo really helps (I'm not convinced but it makes him feels more confident so worth a shot!) he did at one point keep it a bit longer but ended up looking like a combover which was very ageing so now keeps it short - a number one cut I think with a 'fade' whatever that means! But now looks much better and less ageing.

TFPsa · 09/08/2017 11:35

It's not that big a deal and there's nothing you can really do. Provided he keeps it shaved very short it'll look alright.

Badbadbird · 09/08/2017 12:06

My DSB went bald at 21. He shaves his head and it really suits him. He's done it for so long that nobody remembers him with hair.

user1471424340 · 09/08/2017 15:52

My partner went bald in his twenties and now shaves his head to the skin. It took me a week or so to get used to it as he had lovely thick dark hair but I genuinely think he looks incredible bald, and he is so much more confident than when he was balding and trying to cover it up. His style is quite rocky with leather jackets and a few tattoos and that suits it well. He takes care of himself and uses nice products for head shaving as he can suffer from tightness and redness - he likes the Korres products, cornerstone razors and cremo shaving cream. He is himself with no hiding and he completely owns it. I find it really attractive. This site is brilliant: www.slybaldguys.com/

HipsterHunter · 09/08/2017 15:56

Shaved head and no one wil even think 'bald'.

Facial hair is so 'in' right now.

Family members who over reacted are horrible!

Def encourage him to pick a few hats he likes, he is going to have to be a hat wearer in even mild sun now!

scrabbler3 · 09/08/2017 17:55

He should own it, embrace it. No tattoos and no transplants.

It's awful that people are so silly about it. You'd never tell someone that they had middle aged spread or that grey hair didn't suit them. Bald jokes/comments seem to be acceptable though !

Grumpyoldpersonwithcats · 09/08/2017 18:09

I started going bald at 14 (typical male pattern baldness). Nickname at school was 'old man'. As a youngster it gave me a huge advantage - people thought I was older than I was and therefore took me more seriously - a big help in terms of early career progression. (I was also, as a kid, never asked my age in the pub Grin). Get him to embrace it.

ButchyRestingFace · 09/08/2017 18:18

I started losing my hair to MPB in my late teens (female).

Presumably your son has tried the usual treatments (ie, minoxidil)?

helpfulperson · 09/08/2017 18:51

Please, please don't get in touch with your family and tell them and ask them not to make rude comments. I would imagine your son would be mortified if you did this. Sending a note with a recent photo saying looking forward to seeing you as suggested upthread is a good idea.

I would also suggest to your son that he looks around at how many men his age and a little older have shaved or very, very short hair and I can guarantee that almost all of them are loosing their hair. It's not actually that uncommon in under 30's although he is a bit younger than most.

Genghi · 09/08/2017 20:05

DH went bald in his twenties, and just shaved it all off. As he's young a shaved head will suit him more. Alternatively if he really hates it, he could consider saving up for a hair transplant.

Dixiestamp · 09/08/2017 20:39

My DH went bald in his late teens and had the bit that was left shaved in a 'Phil Mitchell' sort of way. Looks great and always has.

MissionItsPossible · 09/08/2017 21:10

Sorry for your son OP.

Can I also take this opportunity to tell everyone with young sons to please brush their hair FORWARD. So many people comb their sons hair backwards and this can contribute to a receding hairline. I've always always combed my hair forwards (even when it was shaved to a size zero) because my dad always told me to and now he's 55 with no receding hairline on the horizon (though he keeps its short) and I'm 31 with long hair while most of my peers are starting to bald.

Rinkydinkypink · 09/08/2017 21:20

My dh lost his hair very young. He also had the piss taken out of him but the silver lining is.....
He looks better without hair
He looks likes he's aged really well as everyone is so used to him having no hair.
Personally Im not keen on hairy men and find shaven heads on men rather sexy and I'm not alone.
It's so much faster to get ready when you've not got hair to worry about.

There is a future and a bit of confidence goes a long way! Build him up, don't knock him down!