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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Would this be really cheeky?

78 replies

lotsofstuffz · 08/08/2017 14:16

Found out I'm expecting DC2. Already had lots of friends and family asking what we would like/need.

Last time we ended up with some lovely things and also some things we never found useful and some things we got in doubles or even triples!
Plus DC1 is a v awkward size so some clothes - what people buy the most - would sometimes sit in the drawer and take up room for a year or more until they fit properly. And if this DC is the same gender we have tons of clothes.

I have recently seen someone do it online and I thought it's not a bad idea but prepared to be corrected.

I'm thinking of starting a wish list and giving the link to the people who ask us what we'd like etc.
Thinking of doing it on Amazon and just things between £1-£45 everything from toys, bulk nappies to bath stuff etc and things we know we will use/need.
I'm quite happy to get anything and absolutely don't expect anything from people but like I've mentioned before some people have been asking what to get us.

AIBU? Would you see this as cheeky?

OP posts:

AmyGardner · 08/08/2017 16:41

Putting stuff on the list that you want/need is just weird.

The presents are for the baby, not to save you a fiver on nappies.

Sonders · 08/08/2017 16:43

I think it's a good idea, but needs to be positioned well.

Make the wishlist for you, and if anyone asks if there's anything specific you want, pretend to think about it and then remember that wishlist you made on Amazon one night when your heartburn was keeping you up.

That damn heartburn.

Say you'd of course appreciate any kind gift but the wishlist might be good for ideas ;)

ReanimatedSGB · 08/08/2017 16:47

I think a wishlist is a great idea. I have no patience with people who think it's rude' or 'grabby' to give a list to those who have asked you what you want. They must be the sort of people who would prefer to give you some useless handmade shite or whatever junk they are trying to get rid of.

HotelEuphoria · 08/08/2017 16:50

I think this is rude and cheeky especially for a second child. I don't think I got anything for my second apart from the odd little teddy.

Hand me downs from the first were more than sufficient. I already had baby toiletries in the cupboard, bedding, some clothes and equipment such as bouncy chair, baby bath, steriliser etc in the cupboard.

DJBaggySmalls · 08/08/2017 16:59

I like wishlists, I can be sure to get a gift thats wanted. Its only cheeky if the lowest priced item is way out of most peoples budget.

GeorgiePeachie · 08/08/2017 17:01

Just depends how you go about it.

What can I get you?

Oh, I've got an amazon wishlist I've been working on to discuss with DH about what we really need... you can always pick something off of there... would you like a link?

HazelBite · 08/08/2017 17:06

I think if people have asked, a gift list is a brilliant and sensible idea.
i bought a lot of second hand items for Ds1, which weren't usable by the time I got to Ds2.
Sometimes you need a lot of new and different things for your second or subsequent DC's

Original poster

lotsofstuffz · 08/08/2017 17:10

@AmyGardner what's wrong with putting things we want/need and will definitely use?

Should we put random things we know will just end up chucked in the shed or given away at earliest opportunity as we will have no use of them?

I would personally prefer someone to give me a list as it reassures me that what I get will be useful/something they actually want.
I'm a terrible worrier and always end up faffing about for ages trying to decide what to get and wether they would like it/need it/ what if they already have one etc.

OP posts:

Original poster

lotsofstuffz · 08/08/2017 17:12

@HazelBite same here, we had lots of second hand stuff that are no use anymore and also realised how many things we didn't have that would've been really useful which we are trying to get this time around.

OP posts:

thebear1 · 08/08/2017 17:15

I think it is a good idea, so much stuff with babies get wasted. I also prefer to get something I know the person wants.

AmyGardner · 08/08/2017 17:22

I just think it's a bit off. You may as well ask someone to swing by Tesco and pick up some nappies. People should be able to choose a gift for the baby if they feel they'd like to.

nina2b · 08/08/2017 18:27

Today 17:10 lotsofstuffz

...things we want/...

Appreciate what you are given - if you are given things - and buy what you "want" yourself.

ReanimatedSGB · 08/08/2017 18:36

Nope - if people buy you a gift that is completely useless/inappropriate/something in which personal taste is a big factor and they haven't bothered to find out yours, then you are not obliged to gush over it endlessly.
There's something wierd about people who resent others giving specifics of what gift they want. If you don't want to buy someone a gift, don't. If you do want to, why don't you try to find out what they would actually like? If you're not close enough to the person to have a good idea of their needs/tastes then maybe stick to a nice card or some vouchers.

Original poster

lotsofstuffz · 08/08/2017 18:43

@nina2b so in your opinion it's grabby and rude to tell people what we want/NEED (which you forgot to add) after they ask us what we would like?

OP posts:

Original poster

lotsofstuffz · 08/08/2017 18:47

And just to clarify, I would be very grateful to receive anything it does not matter if it's on the list or not.
If it's something we don't use we would either donate it or pass on to someone that might want/use it.
I wouldn't get huffy with anyone who wanted to buy something they chose, might even be something we didn't think of and will be put to very good use!

The idea behind it is to try and minimise getting things we won't use/ don't need or already have, if people would be happy to buy something from the list of course, probably at the same (or cheaper) price than what they would've spent on the original gift.

OP posts:

Aeroflotgirl · 08/08/2017 18:50

I would, and you could link it to those who ask what to get. Don't e mail it to all and saundry, as it sounds presumtious.

BackforGood · 08/08/2017 19:16

I think a wishlist is a great idea. I have no patience with people who think it's rude' or 'grabby' to give a list to those who have asked you what you want. They must be the sort of people who would prefer to give you some useless handmade shite or whatever junk they are trying to get rid of

This ^

What will it take to help people understand the OP is not sending out a 'gift list to all and sundry. At no point has this ever been the plan. The OP is responding to people who have asked her what she would like. How difficult is that to understand ?

It isn't therefore grabby or rude, it is making suggestions to people who have asked, without committing them to a price they might not have wanted to spend. It is an incredibly sensible thing to do. I've got 3 boxes of useless stuff here that we were given when each of my dc were born, and then were Christened. Stuff that has never been of any use to them or to us. Some of the stuff that was breakable so put out of their way when they were little and they have no 'association' with as teens / young adults. What a waste of the giver's money, when they could have got something the dc would have used.

Saysomething88 · 08/08/2017 19:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Saysomething88 · 08/08/2017 19:22

I wouldn't see this as cheeky. But only if they ask.
I would perhaps say that you have a list on amazon of the things you still need to buy, so if they want to take a look and choose something on there, then they can if they wish.
Range the prices from a fiver to 45/50 xx

Coconutspongexo · 08/08/2017 19:24

People are asking what you want so a wish list is ideal.

It's not like you're making one in hopes that people will decide to buy you gifts and you're shoving the list down their throat, they've basically requested it.

mctat · 08/08/2017 19:24

I would love it due to the ease. I'm always late with presents and cards these days because getting into the city is trickier.

putdownyourphone · 08/08/2017 19:28

I did this - and what my friends did was all chip in £10 and purchased the bits I put on the list. That way no one was being out done. I put on affordable things like bottles/towels/books etc and it was great! I'm a practical person and would rather stuff we needed than things that would be wasted. I don't think it's cheeky at all (obviously)

MadamPince · 08/08/2017 19:36

I'm a big fan of an Amazon wish list that is shareable - much easier if lots of people are asking what to buy and want to give a wee present, you just email the link and done. But it's a bit frowned upon on MN if I think of various wedding threads over the years....

mowgeli · 08/08/2017 19:38

Love it. Do it. It's not cheeky, it's fine.
If these are people you love just say that you want to reuse as much as possible and so toiletries and baby things like baths or whatever else you don't have could be on there.
Amazon is good because it's easy for everyone to order from.
I say pop one up and then if you are close enough to people and they ask then let them know.
Or ask your sibling to manage it for you?

mowgeli · 08/08/2017 19:40

Also to add I think people on here are really cruel and have a right streak to the way they write.

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