Would this be really cheeky?

[lotsofstuffz]

Found out I'm expecting DC2. Already had lots of friends and family asking what we would like/need.

Last time we ended up with some lovely things and also some things we never found useful and some things we got in doubles or even triples!
Plus DC1 is a v awkward size so some clothes - what people buy the most - would sometimes sit in the drawer and take up room for a year or more until they fit properly. And if this DC is the same gender we have tons of clothes.

I have recently seen someone do it online and I thought it's not a bad idea but prepared to be corrected.

I'm thinking of starting a wish list and giving the link to the people who ask us what we'd like etc.
Thinking of doing it on Amazon and just things between £1-£45 everything from toys, bulk nappies to bath stuff etc and things we know we will use/need.
I'm quite happy to get anything and absolutely don't expect anything from people but like I've mentioned before some people have been asking what to get us.

AIBU? Would you see this as cheeky?

@Winterview it's not a grocery list I'm not asking people to get every item on it.

They ask us what we would like/need as they'd like to get something - I can say we actually have a little wish list of baby bits we know we will use and it would be lovely if they could get us something they like from it.

I'm in two minds about this

I would be fine with that. But then I do always include nappies in baby presents anyway

On the fence here...

But honestly? I'd really rather have an idea of what to get.

That 'special baby blanket' that you thought was so special and lovely? It really may be something someone else would hate and would never be out of the drawer.... Taste is so subjective!... I would hate anything with hearts and cute bunnies... Etc

I think you're taking all the fun and pleasure people have in buying a gift for the new baby. You also need to think about how gifts should be received - with good grace and basic manners.

I think it's fine. I'm 8 months along and I've had people say that they want to buy us things, but I have no idea of people's budgets/finances and don't want to ask for something too cheap/too expensive/a faff to buy etc, so I end up making excuses. No doubt dozens of identical too-large outfits are coming my way . I'd love to dish out a list!

Even with the best of intentions, plenty of people will see this as snotty and roll their eyes behind your back.

I do think it's a bit off to say 'you should buy my child THIS toy and THIS rattle'. The pleasure of giving a gift is in thinking of something that would make your heart happy to give it.

The only thing I would feel funny about for some reason (and this is probably just me) is being asked to buy a specific book. I think because there is something a bit personal about books, you are selecting something that you loved as a child/ that you like now. It's hard to put it into words... also, they are often quite cheap these days, what makes books a nice present is the thought that went into them.

I don't have children and a lot of my friends have recently started families. I would LOVE this! I hate waste and have seen the piles of well meant gifts that will never be used and know how I'd struggle with this in my tiny house.
So far I've stuck to vouchers hoping they'll be useful unless asked for something very specific because I just don't know what I'm buying but it's not quite the same as having a gift to wrap and give.

Seems a good idea to me. I'd rather buy something that's wanted/needed than just any old crap. We started doing lists for our boys for christmas/birthdays for family when people were stuck with what to get them and we ended up with a lot of things that never got used. Family were more than happy with it as it took some of the work out of it for them!

I like this. I have just created a wish list for my son's 2nd birthday and have been using it to store ideas when I think of them and then when family have asked I've said "I have a list where I've been keeping ideas of things he might like, you're welcome to get something off it but don't feel you have to" sort of thing. Everyone has said what a great idea it is!

And regarding nappies, DH best friend turned up a week after DS was born with 5 packs of size 3, 4 and 5 nappies he admitted he'd just panicked in Asda and gave us the receipt to change them if needs be. As DS was only 6lbs at birth and only went into size 4 nappies at around 18 months old we swapped them all for packs of size 1 and 2! haha but they were really useful!

I think it's very rude. Also buying someone's nappies? Surely the gift of given is just a little someone for the baby, not for you!

It didn't bother me if we got outfits I wouldn't have chosen myself or books we already had. I just said thank you and then either used them anyway, or gave them as presents to other babies, or took them back to the shop and exchanged them if they still had tags on or a receipt, whatever.
I think a list is an OK idea but I wouldn't do it, I just think that specifying X book by Y author takes out some of the joy of gift giving. I just think if you really want something very specific just get it yourself. Obviously everyone's different though. I don't mind wedding lists but for a new baby I do put thought into it, maybe a book or toy my daughter really loved, or an outfit from a 'posh' or boutiquey shop.
I think people who actually ask you, what would you like? - that's fine to give them a link to a gift list. They will be the kind of people who would rather you just told them what you wanted and they go and buy it with minimal hassle.
If I was your friend I would not ask, i would buy you something (thoughtful!), include a gift receipt, and if it wasn't exactly right, well, I guess you will just have to say thank you to me and then do whatever you want with it once I'm gone!
In my experience the only people who have asked were our parents who wanted to spend a fair bit of money and so didn't want to just get a massive bag of random stuff but something we would actually use.

featheryfancy If you are getting a bit fed up of buying vouchers, I would just buy an outfit or blanket or whatever from mothercare, jojo, John Lewis or similar and make sure you get a gift receipt to include. Google before you decide and make sure there is a branch of the shop near your friends. As far as I'm concerned, including the gift receipt is a tacit invitation to exchange it for something of a different size / season / different colour / to put towards a big thing they didn't realise they needed like a baby bouncer...

I would find this cheeky and annoying. I ask for people's favourite books, if I am asked for ideas.

I'm rethinking it.
But a part of me still thinks it makes sense. Tbh the book isn't a great idea as I will probably get it myself as its more about the meal plans etc than for baby specifically.
But there's odd bits that I wouldn't personally spend money on for myself etc but would spend it for other people that would be lovely to receive if that makes sense?

I think it's a good idea but be prepared for 'second baby disinterest '!!! I would say we got about a quarter the number of gifts for dc2 as for dc 1.

If people ask what you'd like, I see nothing rude at all about a list. Unless you're shoving this list in the faces of people who haven't even asked, it's completely fine and very practical. I'd MUCH rather know I'm spending my money on smthg they will use and like, instead of spending hours guessing and looking and feeling anxious they'll think the baby booties are fucking hideous and trash them.

If you were my friend I'd think it was a great idea! Much rather buy something I knew was wanted and useful.

I think this is a fab idea. I usually buy boring but practical gifts for people having babies, then put a voucher in the card for them to eeither put towards something they need, or to buy something keepsakey (such as a picture frame or money box etc). I have a friend due in September and we've got a crocheted rainbow blanket (he's a rainbow baby) then a shopping bag full of nappies, nappy cream, bath things, cotton wool, maternity pads, stretch mark cream and some luxury bath stuff for my friend.

OH's friends from a bi-anual theme weekend he always works at all clubbed together and bought us a sizeable pile of nappies, wipes, bath things, muslin cloths, burp cloths etc and they were gratefully received.

We got so many clothes for DS; it's not that we're not grateful for them, but the ones I couldn't swap for bigger sizes barely got worn as we'd already kitted him out in the first three sizes before he even arrived. It seemed like such a waste.

I'd find it odd for #2 tbh.

That would be grabby and rude.

I worry about outfits as some people are so picky about colors, no slogans, no characters etc. Im a mum of four so youd think Id know whats useful but different people have such different ideas about whats useful. Some people love booties, some hate them, some love pretty baby dresses, some hate them, buying disposible nappies, dummies, slings, buggy blankets its such a minefield and Id hate to cause offense. Even something like Mothercare vouchers, many people would hate that. An Amazon gift list woukd make me happy indeed and i could always add something personal if i wanted.

I've done this with my current pregnancy and all my family/friends seemed to like the idea and it's worked well. I got absolutely inundated with clothes (not that I haven't been grateful for every single one) that I thought I'd make a list of things that i needed. Then when anyone's asked "what do you need?" I've just said about the list. I've bought things off it too it's been handy for m3 keeping track of things I want/need.

I think it's a great idea.

When my sisters had their babies they were all
living on a budget at the time, I left the nice cutsie gift to friends and grandparents and I stocked them up with tons of essentials- nappies, wipes, babywash, nappy cream, muslins etc

No-one is being forced to buy from a list and the ones who want to will be very happy.

I say do it!