Myself and DP Have been together over 20 years and have 2 DC. Although we have talked a few times over the years about getting married we have never been bothered enough to actually sort anything properly out.
Both DC have DP surname as I suppose we always figured we would get married at some point and that has always been something that now and then would bug me. Just sometimes it would come up, either through people assuming I had the same surname as the kids and referring to me as that name. I just used to think sometimes I'd like the same name as them. Anyway it's never bothered me enough to do anything about it.
The thing is, I don't really like much at all about weddings. I don't like to be the centre of attention, don't like the thought of planning, all the potential upset of who is invited and who isn't etc. The cost has always been something that put me off as well as whenever I thought about getting married I just could never justify spending all that money on mainly things I wouldn't normally enjoy doing.
We bought our first house quite young so money always seemed to go into that and then we had DC so when people stuck their beak in and asked "when are you going to get married?" I'd always say we couldn't afford it yet.
As time has gone on, it's got to the point that we've been together for so long that sometimes I think why bother now? Then other times I think we really should just for sensible financial security reasons.
Basically I would be happy just to literally book the slot, go to the registry office, say what we need to then sign and leave.
Whenever I mention potentially at some point doing this to people ( not necessarily family but friends, colleagues etc) they always either say "yeah, and you can always have a big "do" whenever afterwards when you wanted" or the other day " yes, you could just go for a nice meal with a few people, you know, still make it nice"
They don't seem to get that the whole point is I don't want a big "do" for everyone else's benefit but our own. Neither of us would want it and would only end up doing it as we felt like it was expected.
I don't really even want the "meal" idea if I can help it as I've known more than one person who's done this " immediate family only" to end up with little digs here and there and questions asking can such and such not come etc
Both my parents have passed away although I've always felt this way about weddings so don't really think my choices would be much different to now.
Are we just weird for wanting this? I would've thought we'd been together that long nobody would really be that bothered if we just say " oh by the way we got married at the weekend" DPs parents are still alive and I'm hoping they wouldn't be totally upset of anything ( I don't think they would?)
I know people might say could you just not let them come but then it'd start with 2 from his family and none from mine, I have 3 siblings but then if they came it would be moaning from his siblings then it just goes on and on.
I'm probably boring you to death by now but just want to know - will I been seen as a weirdo if I go ahead and do this?