Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What age is it ok to leave children alone in the house while I pop to the shop?

79 replies

Imaginosity · 08/08/2017 00:09

Inspired by another thread...many people seem happy to let children play out unsupervised from the ages of 4/5/6/7 years - so when is it ok to leave children home alone for short times.

There is a shop just across the road from my house - about half a minute's walk. Is it ok for me to pop over and leave my children -age 5 and 7 home alone for a few minutes while I buy something. Previously on mumsnet people seemed to think this was really neglectful.

OP posts:
Pengggwn · 08/08/2017 05:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AdalindSchade · 08/08/2017 05:27

I started doing this from age 7. Now age 9 I will leave him for 30 mins or so if I need to go somewhere locally but wouldn't go further than 2-3 miles away.

Mummyoflittledragon · 08/08/2017 05:54

I have just started to leave dd for 15/20 mins to walk the dog. She is 9. She knows what to do in a variety of scenarios.

elfinpre · 08/08/2017 05:57

The only answer is when they are happy for you to leave them. When DD1 got to six or seven she would sometimes want to stay in the house watching TV rather than come out with DD2 and me for five or ten minutes.

HareTodayDragonTomorrow · 08/08/2017 06:07

Around here it seems to be 4 Shock left with iPad or tv or to play in their bedrooms. (For half an hour)

I've left DS (7) for 10 mins max when he wasn't well to pick up DD as I had to speak to teacher. I left my iPad locked onto FaceTime so he could call if he needed. I was next door.

BusyBeez99 · 08/08/2017 06:14

Just started to leave DS 11 whilst go to shop or out for a short stroll. He doesn't move from the PlayStation the whole time.....

NashvilleQueen · 08/08/2017 06:17

I now leave my sensible 10 and 7 yo DDs whilst I nip to the shop (similar distance). There are strict rules - both must stay together in living room. No eating (in case of choking), no fighting, no answering doors if anyone knocks. We know all our neighbours so they would call on them in an emergency. I take my phone and usually just check them on the way there and to tell them when I'm back. It's a 1 min walk to the shop.

NashvilleQueen · 08/08/2017 06:18

When I'm coming back.

EvilDoctorBallerinaDuck · 08/08/2017 06:21

I can happily leave DS2 (5) for a few minutes, DD (9) won't be left at all as she gets anxious.

redexpat · 08/08/2017 06:31

My DM would leave me when I was 3, but only if Superted was on the tv. She knew I wouldnt move for those 10 minutes.

DS i could have easily left for 5 minutes when he was 2. DD is a completely different creature who will be much much older before I leave her alone.

iwishiwasrichandthin · 08/08/2017 06:50

I have left my dc 9 to go to the shop that is about 2 mins walk away, however my dh was asleep in the house. Dc knew to wake him if needed and is sensible enough to not answer the door, use the oven/kettle etc if told not to.

I would not leave him alone, he wouldn't know what to do if I didn't return.

Pengggwn · 08/08/2017 06:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pengggwn · 08/08/2017 06:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HeirOfNothingInParticular · 08/08/2017 06:53

I'm interested to hear views on this. My DH is around in the day and told me that my NDN leaves their younger child (now 3) in the house on their own whilst they drop off/pick up elder one (8) from school. This takes around 15 minutes.

A few weeks ago I came in and DH said that he thought the kids were in on their own as he had just see their dad go out. It was a nice day and the children were in and out of the house, and I could hear them chatting. About an hour later their mum came home. I don't know for sure that there was nobody else in the house supervising, but usually when there is you can hear them (thin walls). It's happened a couple of times since, and I have been wondering if I should do anything.

ireallydontlikefootball · 08/08/2017 06:59

@HeirOfNothingInParticular I would call SS. If they have nothing to hide then no harm done but if it's true and they are leaving young children on their own for an hour Shock then they need someone in a position of authority to stop it as I don't think a quiet word from you would do anything.

user1492287253 · 08/08/2017 07:00

As ever, i do wonder if i live in a parallel universe sometimes.
At 9 round here (se). Kids walk themselves a mile or so to school. On that basis i assume they are capable of being left for an hour or so.

sixinthebedandthelittleonesaid · 08/08/2017 07:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pengggwn · 08/08/2017 07:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PrimalLass · 08/08/2017 07:12

Age 5 & 7 - I wouldn't even consider this. Why would anyone?

Why wouldn't anyone? Once my youngest was 5, I started leaving them for the 2 minutes it would take to dash for a pint of milk. They had usually not even moved from looking at their screens when I got back.

PrimalLass · 08/08/2017 07:17

I'm sure it depends where you live too. Here, by 8 or 9 most children go out on their own, walk to school etc. My DD and her friends go across the village to the park, go to a cafe for ice cream... She is mire capable than the rest of us put together.

StealthPolarBear · 08/08/2017 07:18

Why do they have to be able to make a meal?!
I now leave my 10 year old for short periods and only when I'm local. Dd is almost 8 and I'm sure she'd be fine but still feels a bit young.
I've been leaving both to pop next door etc (wouldn't usually go in) for a few years - leave our door open and they can come and get me if they need me

Iamthinking · 08/08/2017 07:27

You go with your gut and your common sense OP.

Phalenopsisgirl · 08/08/2017 07:35

Ds from about 7/8 years old, he is now 12 and I can leave him to it, he knows his way around the kitchen. If you feel they are sensible then you probably have it right, it's great experience for them, just be sure you brief them on 'what to do if....'

DollyDillys · 08/08/2017 07:37

I leave my 5 and 9 year old whilst I go for to the shop at end of street. I leave my 9 year old for up to hour. My 9 year old goes to town and park and I call her mobile to check where she is.

Grilledaubergines · 08/08/2017 07:42

5 and 7 seems too young to me.

My eldest would have been fine at around 9, the youngest would have been clawing at the front door at 9. In any event, I didn't do it until the youngest was about 11 because I felt I would effectively be leaving the younger one in the older one's supervision which seemed unfair. It was a pain in the bum occasionally though.