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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not let my 6 year old play out in the street without me or dh?

66 replies

Celestia26 · 07/08/2017 20:38

Struggling to work out if I am just being over protective?

We live on a fairly quiet cul-de-sac where there are lots of families. Seeing as it's summer and the holidays, lots of children have started playing out in the street together (no parents). My son has just turned 6 and wants to join them. My husband thinks yes, I think no.
Most of the other kids are older than him, 7-8 at the youngest, but most are 11-13. AIBU to say he can't play out until he's a bit older? He's a bit of a follower and if the older kids tell him to do something dangerous he would probably just do it. I want him to be safe but I don't want to wrap him in cotton wool either!

Opinions please?

OP posts:
ClopySow · 07/08/2017 20:43

I let my kids out to play when they were 6. Probably younger in fact.

Original poster
Celestia26 · 07/08/2017 20:45

On their own?

OP posts:
Whatsername17 · 07/08/2017 20:46

I live on a quiet cul-de-sac too. My dd is 6yo. I wouldn't let her play out in the street. We have a back garden for this very reason.

Unihorn · 07/08/2017 20:46

My stepdaughter has just turned 7 and has started playing out. I think it's perfectly safe as our home setup sounds similar to yours. My husband is a bit more paranoid as he grew up somewhere completely different, and far less rural, than me, where children didn't really play in the street. His compromise is that she checks back in every 10 minutes. Can you see the children from the house to keep an eye? Ours plays round the corner but you can hear them all out squealing and shouting, and the oldest is only 9 so a bit different!

Wolfiefan · 07/08/2017 20:46

I wouldn't. Mine is 7. I wouldn't trust her road sense etc. I realise there aren't paedophiles round every corner but I would hate my child to be the one taken or having an accident in a building site or in an abandoned building. I find it odd on here how everyone lets their kids play out but then say they wouldn't leave that age home alone. Confused

Jupitertomars · 07/08/2017 20:47

My 5 yo plays outside the front of the row of houses without us. He plays with a 4,7,5 and 10 yo.

CorbynsBumFlannel · 07/08/2017 20:48

I'd say from what you've said I wouldn't. But a very sensible 6yo I'd allow it. Kids from age 2 plus are out in our cul de sac with kids about your sons age looking after them Shock
I let my dd out from 6 and my son from 7. It depends on the child. Once they are able I think parents should allow kids to play outside though as it's so good for them to have that independence. Its often the parents that aren't ready these days rather than the kids imo. Except on.my street where they seem.to be chucked out as soon as they can walk

Original poster
Celestia26 · 07/08/2017 20:48

You can see a bit from the windows, but not around the corner. It's a bit of a horseshoe shape road so we don't have a great view of the whole Street.

OP posts:
AfunaMbatata · 07/08/2017 20:48

I let my four year old out to play, though our cul de sac is tiny and I check every 15 mins or so.

x2boys · 07/08/2017 20:50

I would my son was 8 when he first played out but we wasent lived anywhere suitable before well he did play out in another house we lived in but the child he played with only played out for a few minutes before he was called in very odd it's really safe where we are now and all the kids play together (council estate)

CorbynsBumFlannel · 07/08/2017 20:50

At 6 I wouldn't allow them to cross the street though.

Ilovefraybentos · 07/08/2017 20:50

I wouldn't. Six is still so young.

x2boys · 07/08/2017 20:51

Were not *

yummumto3girls · 07/08/2017 20:53

No way at 6, especially if he is easily led and such older kids are out aswell. Can't believe someone allows a 4 year old!!

ElizabethShaw · 07/08/2017 20:54

I'd let him out but restricted to only where you can see/not crossing the road.

Believeitornot · 07/08/2017 20:56

I wouldn't.

But I grew up in a tough part of London and there's just no way. I have it ingrained in me that it's too dangerous wherever I lived, even if it was a "safe" set up.

My two are 7&5. I wouldn't let them play out at all.

Mumof56 · 07/08/2017 20:56

At that age I'd be more inclined to invite other children in to play with him rather than just let him off unsupervised.

AfunaMbatata · 07/08/2017 20:56

What can I say? I'm a bad parent ..

Sunshinegirls · 07/08/2017 20:57

Every kid and every situation is different. If your instincts say no then you are right.

Note3 · 07/08/2017 20:58

No I wouldn't (and don't). I sit on the step and busy myself on tablet or similar and keep an eye.

crazykitten20 · 07/08/2017 20:58

No

HughLauriesStubble · 07/08/2017 20:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SaintEyning · 07/08/2017 20:59

My 7yo has been playing out for a year in our cul de sac development with Very Strict Rules which if broken have Very Painful Consequences (no playing out for a day at least, no screens etc etc). He's managed so far with no major infractions. It does help that his dad lives at one end of the development and I live at the other, so we can generally see-hear him between us and our friends who live here too. I think if you give clear, firm guidelines, all should be fine.

CorbynsBumFlannel · 07/08/2017 21:00

Your kid will probably grow up healthier and with better social skills than the kids on here who are kept in Afuna and also mine who weren't allowed to play out at that age. It was normal when I.was growing up that from 4 or so you'd be outside playing aside from mealtimes. By 6/7 you'd be allowed to.the local shop and walking to school alone. Times have changed and not necessarily for the better imo.

JennyBlueWren · 07/08/2017 21:00

I was for you sending him out until you mentioned that he was a follower. What are the older children like? From what I've seen round here the older ones are bossy but responsible so will tell the younger ones off for playing roughly or being too noisy near houses rather than leading them into trouble. My DS is only 2 though so he won't be out to play for a while.