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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think you don't accept a neighbours parcel if you are going away!

85 replies

User998877 · 07/08/2017 19:21

I had a parcel delivery today whilst we were out, I received a text to say it had been left with a neighbour (gave number of house and name). This would normally be fine but they told my DH at the weekend in passing that they are going away for a few days so I rushed home but they had left!

I am furious that they would accept someone's parcel knowing full well that they were going away. We are going away ourselves at the end of the week and the parcel contains holiday items and I have no bloody idea if they are going to be back before them

OP posts:

tangledup123 · 08/08/2017 01:33

When you have a couple of seconds to decide whether to accept a parcel or not, it's very easy to not think it through clearly and forget that you're going on holiday. It sounds like the sort of thing I would do (especially if woken up by a delivery driver in the morning). I'm sure they were only trying to be helpful. As it's not urgent just chill out and try to be in for deliveries in future.

BoomBoomsCousin · 08/08/2017 07:15

I did this once OP. It was daft on my part. I was in a rush, glad to be getting a parcel of mine at the same time and just didn't really think it through. I tried to give it to another neighbor to pass on, but they weren't in before we left.

I felt bad and was very apologetic about it. It was just a mistake done whilst meaning to be helpful. Fortunately in my case the neighbor didn't need it urgently (at least that's what they told me).

It sucks. But I doubt they were trying to be annoying.

user1497453941 · 08/08/2017 07:45

How irritating OP. I once had this issue- neighbour's who I'd never met signed for a package and then went on a 3 week holiday seemingly straight away! Luckily I was happy with what I'd ordered and didn't need it urgently but I was very very near the deadline for returns by the time I managed to get it.

I'm currently still trying to get a package from a neighbour who signed for it last week (night worker) so I'm afraid to ring the bell during the day and when I do try in the early evening, they're not in...getting it from a depot would be a lot easier...I think it is a gift someone has sent as we've got a new baby & we hadn't ordered anything last week. Hoping we get it soon so we can thank whoever sent it without seeming rude!

If I know we'll be away, I don't take packages unless the neighbour has specifically asked me to hold onto things as some couriers are impossible to get things from once missed!

On a side note, weekend/allocated day deliveries don't always work. I'm off on mat leave so less of an issue usually but I've had 2 deliveries from separate companies this week not come on the day I've paid for allocated delivery (yesterday). Typically the one I need asap is coming today when we will be out at a hospital appointment . I'm hoping it goes to a depot so I can collect tomorrow and the same night worker doesn't accept it!

Original poster

User998877 · 08/08/2017 09:47

with those saying they maybe forgot they were going away.. really, they forgot they were going away that very day!

I know all the delivery drivers since I work from home and take everyone's parcels, there are only six houses (semi rural) so know that none of them would have just "thrust" the parcel at the neighbour.

OP posts:

Original poster

User998877 · 08/08/2017 09:50

Sadly no way of contacting them either so looks like I'll have to hope they are back before we leave on Friday, or is that Saturday or Sunday, I've forgotten when we go now

OP posts:

mando12345 · 08/08/2017 09:57

YANBU I would be cross too. We all take parcels in for each other in our road.
However I would give them a bit of slack they may have taken it in without thinking.

BoomBoomsCousin · 08/08/2017 09:58

It's not so much that I forgot I was going away as that I had 800 things going on trying to get ready to go away and it didn't occur to me that that meant the parcel I was accepting in auto-BeAGoodNeighbour mode would be stuck at my house until I got back.

NewDaddie · 08/08/2017 10:13

YANBU, also the company you ordered from haven't successfully delivered the item to you. I'd recommend contacting them and getting a replacement sent out in the interim. Free delivery and also a free return for the extra items when the neighbours turn up. I know Amazon and most other big retailers would do this.

Violetparis · 08/08/2017 10:25

If you were my neighbour I would never take in a parcel for you again. If something is that important to you buy it from a shop or make sure you're in when it's being delivered.

Nikephorus · 08/08/2017 10:32

All they had to say was that they were going away
Yes, because telling a complete stranger that your house is going to be unoccupied is such a good idea these days

RippleEffects · 08/08/2017 10:32

I did this last year, i was mad at myself for stupidity. Had to find another neighbour to deliver the parcel.

DH and three kids driving me up the wall packing for holiday, door went, it was parcel guy who I take parcels from for the neighbourhood most days - i didn't think it was an automatic thing to take in a parcel for a neighbour. Signed, he left, then I realised my stupidity.

Original poster

User998877 · 08/08/2017 10:33

Ironically a delivery man has just knocked on my door asking if I will take a parcel for said neighbour... what do you think I said?

Even though I too have a million and one things to do before Friday I still remembered that we were going away.

I'm still bloody annoyed TBH since in the parcel in new swim shorts for the dc so I'm going to have to re-order and pay next day delivery now to ensure we have them here before Friday, can't risk the neighbour not being back before then!

OP posts:

Mum2OneTeen · 08/08/2017 10:39

Why don't you reply to the text they sent you & thank them for collecting your parcel. You could then say that you were wondering how long they were going to be away as you were hoping to have the contents of the parcel to take away on holiday when you go on Friday?

That way you'll know one way or the other, and who knows, maybe they'll be able to tell you that another neighbour has a key to their house. Or maybe they'll be back before the Friday as they were only going away for 'a few days'.

I'm sure they thought they were doing you a favour & didn't take delivery just to be difficult. As other PPs have noted, the neighbours were probably distracted when the delivery person came. And I'm sure they'll be horrified when they realise that this has become an inconvenience for you rather than a simple favour (and I also doubt they'll be prepared collect parcels on behalf of neighbours again).

I am constantly reading about delivery problems on MN. The person who flat out refused to deliver a parcel that they accepted on behalf of a neighbour. And the poor bride-to-be that had her wedding dress 'stolen' by a neighbour who took delivery & then tried to sell it despite being asked about it by the bride-to-be.

Your ire would be better directed to the merchant and the courier company. Next time it may be prudent to get packages delivered to the nearest PO or freight depot or make it very clear on the delivery instructions that under no circumstances, should the delivery be left with a third party.

NewDaddie · 08/08/2017 10:41

@User998877

I doubt very much that you'll have to pay for next day delivery for the shorts if you call up and speak to customer services. I've had similar in the past and while they can't give you a free replacement but they can usually do free express delivery and returns.

What company is it?

Original poster

User998877 · 08/08/2017 10:51

Mum2one I received the text from the delivery company... not my neighbour, I have stated that I have no way of contacting them.

This year I've maybe taken between 3-10 parcels a week for our neighbours, since they all work out of home, even though each time they knock on my door I am busy with work (I work from home). So I'm clearly demonstrating that I am a good neighbour, I don't have to justify that to anyone on here.

I just really can't get over the stupidity of it and yes probably need to cut them some slack, but at the moment they have inconvenienced me through their lack of thought.

OP posts:

LittleLucyLuce · 08/08/2017 12:34

I would be cross too OP. You could try contacting the company you bought the items from, and say that you didn't give permission for your items to be left with a neighbour. They might resend them to you. Your contract is between you and the retailer, it's not your fault if the courier they used delivered them elsewhere.

generallyabitgrumpy · 08/08/2017 12:46

Call the customer service of the place you ordered them from. They might agree to waive the delivery charge to send you new swim shorts in time for your holiday and the original ones can be returned when everyone is back.

Dancingfairy · 08/08/2017 13:15

The things is you have to opt out of leaving things with your neighbour not opt in, so they will automatically leave things with your neighbours unless specified before hand not to.

Original poster

User998877 · 08/08/2017 13:55

generally I've spoken with customer services and they are treating the parcel as "missing", I have reordered the original order for next day delivery. Once that has arrived they will refund the original order cost plus my next day delivery postage cost on this new order. I have agreed to send it back when I get it back.

Just a lot of faffing around for me at a time when I could do without it... I am going on holiday on Friday, don't you know

OP posts:

GloveBug · 08/08/2017 16:02

with those saying they maybe forgot they were going away.. really, they forgot they were going away that very day

Yes, really! I work from home too so take in a lot of parcels and just went in to autopilot until after I'd shut the door and then thought "oh shit"

Anyway it wasn't the end of the world as I had other neighbours I could have left it with or DMIL feeds the pets twice a day so could have taken it over

mum11970 · 08/08/2017 16:08

Do you actually know for sure that have gone away today and are not just out at the moment?

generallyabitgrumpy · 08/08/2017 21:07

Let's hope they don't leave this new order with anyone!

imnottoofussed · 08/08/2017 21:27

Yanbu at all, I would be annoyed at this and really can't understand those who are saying yabu it's not their parcel how can they decide it's ok to keep hold of it until they return?

Surely if they did it by accident they should have left a note for OP and given it to another neighbour.

They had no clue what was in the parcel so shouldn't get to decide whether it's ok to hang on to it.

Original poster

User998877 · 08/08/2017 22:18

imnottoofussed exactly what you said... word for word! This is why I am so frustrated with them.

This morning I asked my 9 year old son what he would do if a delivery driver knocked on the door on Friday (the day we leave for our holiday) and asked us to take a parcel for a neighbour. His words were "I would say no because we won't be here to give the neighbour their parcel" If he can see the stupidity of doing this then I'm struggling to get my head around why intelligent adults can't.

Maybe they took it on auto pilot, but surely when the penny dropped you just wouldn't bugger off and leave someone else's parcel in your house not knowing what was in said parcel or how urgent the contents might be.

OP posts:

Mum2OneTeen · 11/08/2017 03:37

Just wondering (& hoping) that your parcel arrived in time. Or at least that the replacement did?

Hadn't realised that the notification text didn't actually come from the neighbours. Did you ever go there and check around the house in case they left it on the porch? All a bit late now, I would have incredibly frustrated too

OP, I'm always amazed by the number of threads on MN about parcel delivery failures. Obviously the delivery system isn't working as it should due to slack couriers. Other than complaining to the courier company I'm not sure what else we all can do.

Enjoy your holiday; you'll need it after this week of frustration.

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