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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you don't accept a neighbours parcel if you are going away!

85 replies

User998877 · 07/08/2017 19:21

I had a parcel delivery today whilst we were out, I received a text to say it had been left with a neighbour (gave number of house and name). This would normally be fine but they told my DH at the weekend in passing that they are going away for a few days so I rushed home but they had left!

I am furious that they would accept someone's parcel knowing full well that they were going away. We are going away ourselves at the end of the week and the parcel contains holiday items and I have no bloody idea if they are going to be back before them Angry

OP posts:
Original poster
User998877 · 07/08/2017 20:10

Pel no children or cleaner I'm afraid.

OP posts:
specialsubject · 07/08/2017 20:13

Even here in not London we have parcel lockers where you can get deliveries sent. Or get it sent to work.

Easy.

user1479335914 · 07/08/2017 20:17

If they are away and their house has somewhere a parcel could be left outside the actual house, say a porch or log store, that your does not have - it might be worth going to look and see if the postman dumped it there. This has happened at my house - I have just found my new router dumped inside the recycling bin for example! Another expensive item was left undercover in my log shed. Sensible solutions but unpredictable.

Original poster
User998877 · 07/08/2017 20:21

user I had a text to say they had accepted it, so it's in their house.

OP posts:
generallyabitgrumpy · 07/08/2017 20:22

Around here Amazon don't tend to give you much choice.

That said, I'd have knocked on all the other neighbours doors before I actually went away and found someone else to take it in before leaving a note saying something along the lines of "the Amazon guy wouldn't take no for an answer so I signed for your parcel. It's with Elsie at number 72 as I'm off on hols for a few days"

generallyabitgrumpy · 07/08/2017 20:23

Or, if no one was in "the Amazon guy wouldn't take no for an answer so I signed for your parcel. It's wrapped in three binliners so it won't get damp and it's under the second rose bush in my front garden. So sorry about this"

LivingInMidnight · 07/08/2017 20:29

I don't get why you're so het up about it. Delivery drivers are pushy (they want to get paid)/they probably thought you would be straight home, since you work from home/they forgot. It's easily done.

Mittens1969 · 07/08/2017 21:16

I'm constantly being asked to accept parcels for our neighbours. I've always been willing to accept them, but it is a pain when the recipients are not in for a while and it stays in our hallway for a period of time. I have 2 DDs, aged 8 and 5, and they are so curious about parcels, I've become fed up with having to tell them not to open the parcel.

Last time, I refused because it was enormous and I didn't want it in our hallway and it was quite liberating in fact.

Yes, it was silly of them, OP, but it is hard to say no to delivery drivers, they can be very pushy. Though the man I said no to wasn't too bad, I admit.

Original poster
User998877 · 07/08/2017 21:18

Living "I'm het up" because they took something that belongs to ME, then put it in their house knowing that they couldn't give it to me since they have gone away.

Who would do that, they are both teachers so doubt either would be intimidated by a pushy delivery driver Confused All they had to say was that they were going away... job done.

OP posts:
OrangeJulius · 07/08/2017 21:27

YANBU it is a thoughtless thing to do.

Dancingfairy · 07/08/2017 21:41

Yanbu at all.

CaptainHammer · 07/08/2017 21:54

Yanbu.
I had similar happen to me. It was something fairly urgent, chose Friday delivery for when I was home. UKmail decided to deliver it on Thursday instead, neighbour took it in and then went away for a week. Real helpful!

RaspberryPi1 · 07/08/2017 22:50

It never ceases to surprise me if you have an opposing view in a thread that somehow your comments are goadie...!
It's very unfortunate about your parcel, but if they are coming back in a few days that's hardly a lifetime without your parcel. With an attitude like yours, I wouldn't be surprised if no one takes your parcel in!

If it was something that you needed for a particular date, then you should have contacted the company and/or courier. It doesn't sound like your neighbour was maliciously withholding your parcel. Btw they didn't take your parcel, they were given it.

For example Amazon are pretty good, in delivery options you can suggest a safe place, which neighbour to give it to, and even get it delivered to your place of work.

Happytobefree17 · 07/08/2017 22:58

YANBU. Of course it's thoughtless of them.

melj1213 · 08/08/2017 00:03

It's very unfortunate about your parcel, but if they are coming back in a few days that's hardly a lifetime without your parcel ... If it was something that you needed for a particular date, then you should have contacted the company and/or courier.

What world are you living in where people can just deprive you of your things for as long as they like as long as they're "doing it as a favour" that you never asked them to do in the first place?!

I went to Spain for 3 weeks a month or so ago, the day before I left I had an Amazon prime delivery arrive early afternoon and the courier asked me to take in a parcel for next door too ... I refused because although I knew that I wasn't going out that evening - other than to drop DD off at her dad's and drop a key off with a friend to feed my cats while I was away which shouldn't have taken more than 30/40 mins - and they would be arriving home from work a few hours later, I didn't want to take the risk that they came home while I was out and then went out for the evening and we managed to miss the chance for me to hand over their parcel before I left for 3 weeks.

The OP had no need to speak to the courier/sender because they knew the item would be arriving before their holiday, and worst case scenario they would have to either arrange a re-delivery or collect it from a local depot/collection point a day or two later ... provided a "helpful" neighbour doesn't take it in and then leave for a week.

Even if it wasn't urgent, there's nothing worse than knowing your parcel is just next door but you can't get it for days because they're away when if it had gone back to the depot/collection centre you could get it tomorrow. Also a lot of places have limited returns policies, which start from the moment the parcel is signed for as it is then officially "delivered", so if you don't get your parcel for days and then things need to go back you can often then be pressed for time to get it back without losing your money.

I had a parcel attempted to be delivered on Friday and another today when I was at work as they were just posted in the regular mail and I didn't get a notification until they were already dispatched so couldn't arrange to be home exactly when the post man arrived (which can be any time between 7am and 4pm in my area). Because nobody took the parcels in they went back to the sorting office, which is literally only 3 minute walk from my house. Tomorrow on my day off I can stroll over to the sorting office whenever suits me (providing it's within the set opening hours obviously) and pick them up and despite the fact one parcel has been there for 5 days I have not inconvenienced anyone and I don't have to stalk my neighbours to get my parcel when it suits me.

Original poster
User998877 · 08/08/2017 00:04

Rasp My words were in response to yours, you wrote as though you hadn't read the facts at all, which is where mine (and a couple of other poster) comment about being goadie came from. Absolutely nothing to do with a differing opinion.

In your last post you are doing exactly the same again. So to clarify one last time...

I ordered my item for my holiday over a week in advance with expected delivery 2-3 days. This gave plenty of time for it to arrive so no need to pay for specified day/time.

My neighbours weren't given my parcel, they would have been asked if they would take the parcel for a neighbour... at this point they had a choice to say yes or no, given that they were going away, clearly the obvious answer should have be NO. At this point the delivery driver would have either tried another neighbour, (we only have 6 houses where we live) or take it back to depot. I could have then collected at my convenience.

How do you know that they will be back before we go away? All I've stated is that they told DH they were going away for a few days, one persons few days is not the same as another.

I've not mentioned Amazon so why on earth you feel the need to tell me about their services I don't know!

OP posts:
ILoveGrammar0 · 08/08/2017 00:08

You can pay extra for weekend or evening delivery

I'd love for Amazon to give me that choice.

To think you don't accept a neighbours parcel if you are going away!
C0untDucku1a · 08/08/2017 00:09

I cant imagine what possessed them!

HiJenny35 · 08/08/2017 00:29

At the start I agreed with you but I just think you're rather rude now. They were going away, someone knocked and asked if they could take in a package, they are only away for a couple of days, I'd guess they thought that they were doing you a favour, with our post office deliveries it would have been taken back to the main depo and you would have had to arrange to collect it after 24 hours but within four days or its returned to sender, so they probably thought we are only away for a couple of days, we can save them that agro. Unless you had actually told them the date you were going away and that you were waiting for an order the YABU. Just order again now, and return the originals when you get home, yes a pain but they tried to help.

ThinkOfTheHorses · 08/08/2017 00:57

I've just moved into a new building and a parcel was supposedly left with another flat ... even though I was in at the time ... and don't know my neighbours and didn't opt for it to be left with anyone ... and they say they don't have it ... fucking couriers

ThinkOfTheHorses · 08/08/2017 00:59

So no one knows where my parcel is now . The depot is at the end of my road why wouldn't they just take it there ?!?! Grrr

GloveBug · 08/08/2017 01:04

I did this the other day Blush It just didn't twig until after I'd accepted the parcel that we were going away later that day. luckily neighbours got home before we left. If they hadn't been home in time I was going to give the parcel to our other neighbour (who we've been good friends with for many years, way before we were neighbours, so know we can trust them) and put a note through the parcel recipient neighbours door explaining where to collect the parcel from and why

Ontheboardwalk · 08/08/2017 01:16

I took a parcel in for my neighbour on the morning I was going away without really thinking but then thought, ok they would be around in the afternoon like they normally are so I could give it to them then.

By early evening when I was leaving they still hadn't come home. I simply put the parcel in my shed and put a note through their door telling them where the parcel was.

YANBU to be annoyed.

Can you find out if another neighbour has a spare key and go in and get it? Pretend there was a major emergency that needed access to their house!

steff13 · 08/08/2017 01:20

Is there someone looking after the house? Maybe you could stick a note through the door with your name and number, and is someone's taking care of the house they could call you.

safariboot · 08/08/2017 01:23

User998877 , how do you know the delivery driver didn't just knock on the door, thrust the parcel in the neighbours hands or drop it on the doorstep, and dash? Therefore leaving your neighbours with no opportunity to "say no". Because that's the kind of thing that delivery people do.

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