To ask what really fucks you off?

[IDoDaChaCha]

I know I know I was asking for it- going out in the car on a Sunday; 'Sunday drivers'... As I was sat/stuck behind yet another slow, overly cautious (shit - IMO) driver it infuriated me that she left a car sized gap between her and the car in front of her. These selfish twats idly trundle by just as the lights change leaving whoever was stuck behind them (and their massive unnecessary gap...) stuck at the lights. I curse them. What and/or who really gets you mad?

I've found my people!

I have a few...

Cyclists. Particularly the pricks the ride 3 abreast across the country lanes I have to navigate (with many many others) to work everyday.
I want to rip their nipples off and wear them as badges of war. Selfish twats.

Costa or weekly food shoppers in petrol stations during rush hour.
There is a special place in hell reserved for the inconsiderate wankpuffins.
If I'm ever PM, their bodies will be hung over the pumps as a subtle warning to any other offenders.

Doderey idiots who can't figure out the simple concept of a mini roundabout.
It's ok Doris. You just sit there until someone else decides to move. Not your right of way at all.

Topless builders in supermarkets.
It's not that hot love, and neither are you. Put your top on and stop sweating on the sandwiches.

Nick Grimshaw.
No particular reason, he just makes me irrational angry. Dull as fuck and name drops Rita Ora precisely 1 million times per show. Totes hilar babe!

Political posts of F/B.
Look. I've come here to laugh at the shitbag who used to bully me at school and her crap tattoos. I might possibly watch a few funny cat videos.
Be gone with your absolute cockwomblry.

I promise I'm not an angry person...

People who stand in pub doorways smoking or staff on a break standing in doorways smoking, so to sum in up, people, in doorways, smoking

Currently on a very long haul plane so here goes:
People who have FaceTime conversations in quiet airline lounges without headphones
People who watch a whole rugby match on their phone in aforesaid lounge without headphones
People who bash the tv screen menu/leverage themselves up from their seat with your seat back jolting you from the sleep you have finally managed to fall into after 10 hours
People who put their reading lights on in a dark cabin so it's right in your eyes and then they sleep for 15 hours
People who don't put their seat back up for meals
Those wankers who are always up and down to fanny with their baggage in the overhead locker or who take whole suitcases down then have a loud conversation about their contents with their flying companion
Aisle yogis
Farters

I've had some time to get irritated....

My DB who is addicted to exercise but is always 'too tired' to do jobs for my (also incredibly annoying) mum.
Anon- I annoy myself too. Especially my procrastination. Friends have remodeled entire 4 bed houses in the time it takes me to put up a shelf. I hate this trait in myself.

MartinJD and Mumzypopz - at traffic lights. There is no need to leave a car sized gap between you and the car in front at traffic lights. I'd like to see anyone argue the case for doing so. That'd be a laugh.

It definitely is IDo .** Have just started on cookie-dough ice-cream ...

The current batch of Nationwide adverts where individuals recite a poem all meaningful like. I HATE them with a passion and I just do not understand why at all.

WhamBars are you dissing Anthony Wiggle? How very dare you. He was my --secret crush-' favourite Wiggle when DS 1 was 2. Admittedly that was 17 years ago and I was a hormonal mess having just had ds2.

What really fucks me off is rudeness. Especially people treating those doing what they perceive to be a "lower" job with disdain. Really gets my goat.

www.safespeed.org.uk/tailgate.html

I hate tailgaters and people who think they own the fucking road just because they are faster, more confident or in a rush. The roads are for all of us. Motorists, cyclists, pedestrians, horse riders and tractors. Get over it.

I also hate people who carry on a conversation with their colleague when they are serving me in a shop. Likewise, people who continue a phone call when they are being served.

Purplemac I'd walk through them too. Eejits.

People who stop dead in shop doorways/at the end of escalators.
People who leave a gap big enough for several people to stand in when they're waiting in a queue. Inevitably,someone comes alongside and stands in front of them because they don't realise said people are actually in the queue. Even more annoying,is that the people who have been jumped in front of never say anything!
People walking along staring at their phone screen and nearly walking into you. They then have the nerve to act like it's your fault.
People looking at their phones/texting etc when they're driving.
One person in a coffee shop taking up 2 tables when it's busy.
People who never have their pass ready when they get on a bus. They've only been standing there waiting for 10 minutes but they get on the bus and proceed to hunt through every damn pocket and bag before they find it.
People who drop litter.
People in cars who don't indicate.

Spa day people at my gym who fart about in the swimming pool like they are at a holiday camp when I am trying to get some laps in. Especially the loved up couples who can't seem to resist each other in their cozzies and are practically having sex in the pool. It's a city centre gym, not Love Island.

Oh god.....

Cyclists on the road when there is a perfectly good cycle lane (which was put in by narrowing the road!)

Endless drivel on Facebook

People who believe everything they read on the internet (think websites claiming that eating a scouring sponge every day will stop you getting headaches)

People who do the above, then inform everyone else that it's a fact because they read it on whatalotofbollocks.com

Large, dark painted-on eyebrows.

People who stockpile prescription medications and don't take them or cancel orders 'because they're entitled to them'.

Naturebabe - I'll have one of what she's having

Achoopichu

Highly paid corporate types who have lots of meetings but add nothing of value YES! Vacuous. Just love the sound of their own voice...

Oh forgot one of my pet hates. Receptionists/shop assistants who ignore you standing at the counter to answer the phone. My late DDad used to say this was very bad practice. You deal with the person who is actually there in front of you before answering the phone. They can call you back if it's important!

People who spread malicious gossip
Bullies
People who can't be bothered with basic kindness or consideration
Absolute ignorance about basic things like not knowing basic geography
People who excuse rudeness by saying 'that's just me - I tell it like it is'

Chickaaaaann I'm with you on cyclists, strike me dead. Annoying twats. Our roads weren't designed for large lethal motorised vehicles to coexist with tiny man-powered slow vehicles.... It just doesn't work.

Cavamad - people who smoke in restaurant doorways bleurgh I always tell the wait staff to move them away from the door. Who wants to breathe hand fag smoke whilst eating...

My dh being a lazy selfish fucker

People who use the word 'entitled' as an insult.

Atsehole landlords that will do anything to retain deposits.
Washing up.

IDoDaChaCha: So that's cyclists and people who leave reasonable (car length gaps) between cars that "fuck you off"? Who else? Wheelchair users?

I hope i'm not sharing a road with you anytime soon, your attitude to other road uses seems, at best, misguided.

Cheers,
M.JD

Disclaimer - I love my DM, she's kind and funny and generous and a wonderful grandmother...BUT ARGH she cannot make the most basic of decisions. Typical conversation:

Me: would you like a drink?
Her: oh yeah, if you're having one
Me: well I'm having tea (she doesn't like tea), but we've got coffee, fresh orange juice, squash, Diet Coke...the usual
Her: (after much deliberation) orange
Me: fresh or squash?
Her: whatever is easiest
Me: well they're both easy!
Her: whatever comes to hand first, I'm not bothered
Me: honestly mum they're about six inches away from each other
Her: I really don't mind
Me: PLEASE JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT TO DRINK

It's absolutely infuriating.

UsedToBe yeah, agreed. And it's usually those same entitled vacuous CEO types who add no real value who look down their nose at people who earn less zeroes. Fuck off. I don't believe in hierarchy, I treat all people the same: rich or poor if you're a shit slow driver I will imagine driving over you with a monster truck

Oh people who go get a table in cafes or coffee shops then join the queue - so those people who have been waiting lose out on a table because the rude gits who haven't even got a drink yet have unloaded on a table. One that could seat four but there's only two of them.

Oh yes. Usually happens in the co-op, the people serving you treat you like you're invisible and carry on their full blown convo with their colleagues, whilst scanning the items and giving you your change. All without even taking a glance in your direction.

So bloody rude