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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think inviting people over for dinner and then smoking at the table is rude?

47 replies

user1498921160 · 06/08/2017 17:38

A woman I know invited a few of us over for dinner last night. Lovely house, lovely food, lovely company. However, our hostess smoked at the table between courses and also had several cigarettes at the end of the meal.

No one else at the table was a smoker and I could see people surreptitiously trying to wave smoke away from their eyes, and feel my throat getting dry and scratchy. I also had to fling everything in the wash when I got home, hang my jacket out in the garden, and wash my hair as soon as I got up. I really stank of stale smoke.

AIBU to think this just isn't on anymore? I know it was her own home, but she had invited us there as guests and then smoked all over us at the table.

OP posts:
KingJoffreysRestingCuntface · 06/08/2017 17:41

Meh. It's her home.

Presumably you knew where the door was if you hated it that much?

I don't like smoking either, hurts my ears. I either avoid it or keep quiet. You can't tell someone not to do their own thing in their own home.

LakieLady · 06/08/2017 17:42

Her house, her rules. YABU.

SayNoToCarrots · 06/08/2017 17:45

Unless she kept her smoke to herself, YANBU.

NoCapes · 06/08/2017 17:45

Smoking at the table is very rude - her house or not

Intrigued as to how it hurts your ears though Joffrey?

FruBayerischOla · 06/08/2017 17:46

I am a smoker. But I would never smoke in front of non-smoking guests inside my own home. I'd go to the end of the garden for a ciggie. I wouldn't impose my smoking habits on my non-smoking guests.

AdalindSchade · 06/08/2017 17:46

Yeah it's very passé. I don't think I would expect that even in someone else's house!

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 06/08/2017 17:46

Her house, her rules, I suppose, but how very inconsiderate. She must have known the rest of you were non-smokers. The host's job is to make the guests feel welcome in the home, and it sounds like she didn't manage that. I wouldn't be rushing back.

RhubardGin · 06/08/2017 17:46

A perfect example of an inconsiderate, ignorant smoker.

I agree her house her rules, not much you could have done tbh, just don't go back for another dinner party!

maddiemookins16mum · 06/08/2017 17:47

YANBU, I smoke (not a huge amount, but still), I'd never do that. I'm shocked people actually smoke indoors these days.

Aquamarine1029 · 06/08/2017 17:48

It's her home but I certainly would never accept another invitation from her. Gross.

Mrscropley · 06/08/2017 17:48

So she invited you over to serve nice food but poison you all in other ways?
Nice host!!

HotNatured · 06/08/2017 17:48

Yanbu, and 'her house her rules' is such a rude attitude, smoking is antisocial as is farting, would you fart in front of your dinner party guests as 'my house my rules' applies to you, no, you wouldn't, so subjecting guests to your second hand smoke is just off. It's not like you can move if you're sat at the table.

I have friends who smoke, when they have friends i.e. me over they sod off to the garden to get their fix as they want their guests to enjoy being in their home and aren't inconsiderate fucks Hmm

I wouldn't be returning for part two, OP

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface · 06/08/2017 17:48

It kind of dries up my throat and makes my ears/back of throat area throb.

Feel it when I swallow.

Oldraver · 06/08/2017 17:50

I wouldn't be going back..

Her house and all that, but I wouldn't like it.

I think I have finally got through to OH how horrible it is to go out for nice food, him disappear for a fag and come back reeking

talonofthehawk · 06/08/2017 17:51

Her house her rules blah blah blah- still disgusting and selfish.
I wouldn't go back and would tell her why.

Allthebestnamesareused · 06/08/2017 17:51

I would have moved away from the table is she did this. If she asked why I would have told her. Maybe she would have gone herself if she realised. But as someone said above ignorant smoker!

RiverTam · 06/08/2017 17:51

What a surprise the 'her house her rules' gang showed up, do people really have so little in the way of critical thinking? Of course this is a shitty way for a host to behave.

khajiit13 · 06/08/2017 17:53

Gross. Very inconsiderate. Not acceptable regardless of whose home it is

Mawalls · 06/08/2017 17:58

critical thinking

I don't think you know what those words mean

hana32 · 06/08/2017 18:03

YANBU. I'm asthmatic and would absolutely hate that. It's just rude and totally inconsiderate regarding other people's health.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 06/08/2017 18:04

A woman I know invited a few of us over for dinner last night

You knew she was a smoker so took a chance knowing she'd light up.

You can decline the next invite.

Ginlovinglady · 06/08/2017 18:04

It's just odd to do it. I don't know one smoker who smokes indoors these days

I smoke. The thought of it makes me feel ill

Ginlovinglady · 06/08/2017 18:04

I mean th thought of smoking indoors!!!

bbpp · 06/08/2017 18:06

Smoking inside is disgusting. Seems to head straight for eyeballs and sticks to everything.

x2boys · 06/08/2017 18:07

Sounds very 70 s was her name Abigail?