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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask this ....

89 replies

ReallyWanttowinthelottery · 06/08/2017 17:31

If you are rich, and you believe money doesn't buy you happiness, can you please give me your money?

Specifically, if you are loaded and think you are no happier now than you were before you were loaded, I am more than happy to take some cash off you!!

I am fed up of hearing people say money doesn't buy u happiness!!! I have the best DH in the world, two fantastic children and I like my house. But .... I would be happier if I had more money!!! .... I could fix my stupid leaky tap, work less (or better still, b a stay at home mum to my wonderful kids till they r a bit older), I could take my children to the legoland hotel for a night, I could decorate my bedroom, I could pay off my massive credit card bill! And ... I could feel less stressed about money more generally! Sure ... maybe millions don't make you happier - but having enough not to be in debt, and to be comfortable - surely that does!!

OP posts:

Booboobooboo84 · 06/08/2017 19:22

I have money, recently inherited and it's. A double edged sword tbh.

Yeah my taps don't leak anymore but I still have MH problems. But tbf I'm now paying for some pretty shit hot support for that.

I'd give it all up in a second to you if you promise to give me back the person who died so I got it though.

Original poster

ReallyWanttowinthelottery · 06/08/2017 19:22

Sadly super moon ... it's gone beyond that! it's knackered!

OP posts:

rebelnotaslave · 06/08/2017 19:23

I think it removes the stress that makes many people unhappy. It's not just about material things. It about being able to pursue a career you love, instead of being stuck in a job for the money. Being able to pay all the bills, spend more time with your children, travel.

Original poster

ReallyWanttowinthelottery · 06/08/2017 19:33

Thanks to all that have replied so far. Sorry to all those that have faced bereavements. I totally agree that most people would swap money for their loved ones back in an instant, or to improve the health of those they care about. That is not in doubt.

I do think though, loss of loved ones and physical/mental health issues aside, having more money would make me happier! for all the reasons everyone has stated so far (being able to do a job I love, fix the damn tap (which is doing my head in!!!) take my kids to lovely fun places, and just not have to stress and scrimp and worry about money).

OP posts:

gamerwidow · 06/08/2017 19:34

Money makes life easier but it won't buy you happiness on its own.
Plenty of people are depressed and unhappy even with money.

gamerwidow · 06/08/2017 19:34

P.s. If you're already happy though then more money would definitely make you happier.

MumsOnCrack · 06/08/2017 19:35

I'd rather cry in a Bentley

kingfishergreen · 06/08/2017 19:38

Related/unrelated: my DF says 'money doesn't buy you friends, but it sure buys a better class of enemy'.

I like that.

Booboobooboo84 · 06/08/2017 19:38

I agree, I think in the long run I'll probably be on the whole happier.

But then my inheritance came with some pretty good caveats re getting financial advice and not actually telling more than a handful of people that I'm not wealthy. My relative knew quite how fast the money would go if certain family members knew about it and was very clear with me that I should just not tell anyone. Other than the financial advisor, bank and my counsellor I've told one person.

GaryNumanIsOlderThanGaryOldman · 06/08/2017 19:40

Has anyone suggested you start a just giving yet?! need a ninja emoticon...

user1492287253 · 06/08/2017 19:44

I genuinely dont agree with you. Fundamental things like a happy relationship and healthy kids cant be bought.

hiphopcat · 06/08/2017 19:46

A friend of mine is a millionaire. She got her money as a result of a settlement after a crash killed her beloved DH, and left her DS severely disabled. She needs the money to care for him so won't be able to give it to you, unfortunately.

I just KNEW someone would come up with a tale like this.

DCFlemingreportingforduty · 06/08/2017 19:54

Mynewballoon et al...

I don't want to be callous, but to those of you who have lost someone and are rich, and are saying that being rich doesn't make up for losing someone...

Can you imagine how much worse it is to lose someone and have crippling worry/ anxiety/ depression about poverty? Perhaps about not being able to pay for the lost loved one's funeral, rather than not being able to enjoy spending your inheritance?

Booboobooboo84 · 06/08/2017 19:59

I've been on my arse financially and now I'm not. I've had bereavements in both circumstances and I can hand on my heart say there is no difference in how the grief feels.

I've been very honest about the fact that ultimately I will probably wind up happier but there are no guarantees in life.

It's more complex than simply throwing money at a problem.

Mynewballoon · 06/08/2017 20:01

DC -I completely agree with you. A relative recently passed away and had it not been for a couple of family members, the other family members would've been in this position. I was just exploring the OP in more detail - that simply money does not equal happiness in its simplest terms.

Booboobooboo84 · 06/08/2017 20:02

And DCfleming there is nothing enjoyable about 'spending the inheritance' like you can eliminate grief with any amount of money. In fact my inheritance and the spending of it makes me feel extremely guilty because I've always earned everything I've had and now it's all just there and I didn't earn it. I'm not going to expect anyone to feel sorry for me or anything because like you said there are certain worries I no longer have.

It is callous to think that having money means you won't care about a loved ones death nor feel it as much as a poor person would.

ems137 · 06/08/2017 20:17

It's a well known fact that people from poorer communities are less healthy and have shorter life expectancies than wealthier people. So in a way, money can buy health for you and your children.

MumsOnCrack · 06/08/2017 20:50

You can only rely on you. That's it. Don't expect anything from anybody and you'll be fine.

grasspigeons · 06/08/2017 21:03

I've had times with money, and times without. I've generally been happier when we've had money.

Life can be tough whatever your financial circumstances, but money gives you choices. Even this month I've needed 3 different prescriptions, lots of painkillers, some additional childcare and a dentist appointment for an infection that got out of hand. Really glad that this was a time we had some spare money.

Hendersonsisnotrelish · 06/08/2017 21:22

You can experience a shit situation whatever your bank balance. Be that death, addiction, mental health issues it matter not.
What does matter is having to worry about the absolute basics ON TOP of that.
As hard as bereavement is it's ten times harder where you can't feed your children

Laquitar · 06/08/2017 23:18

YY Henderson.

As for the pp who say 'improve yojrself, work harder'. You need money to do that. Money for re-traing. Even for job interviews you need money. When i was goung i rember once i bought the Loots (i am that old!) i wenf to the phone box and made phone calls. I was offered 5 interviews for casual jobs, i had to choose 2 because of the fares. Money buy you more chances to jobs, to success , to love to eveverything. It is simple maths. A bit like the lottery, the more tickets you buy the more chances to win.
Even in love actually. Going out and meeting people cost money. How do you date? In your local park with a flask?
And then it is the 'taking risks' that successful people always mention. Again, you need money to take risks. You are not going to start up a new bussiness with the rent money, no matter how good your idea is.
It is bullshit that money doesn't make your life better.

MargaretTwatyer · 06/08/2017 23:28

I knew someone who won a million pounds on the premium bonds (back when it was worth a lot more than it is now) and had an awful lot of grief including the death of her son and her husband getting very ill and then dying. She has now passed away herself.

The money might not have made her happy but it definitely made her less sad. She was able to give her son a decent send off and make sure his family were secure. Her husband had care and equipment for his own home funded so never had to go in a care home. Her sadness was awful but the trauma was somewhat ameliorated by having the freedom to do what she could to cushion them from the worst aspects of it because they had money.

WillowWeeping · 07/08/2017 09:11

Anyone saying that money doesn't buy happiness is doing it wrong. It bloody does. And if things go bad it is a hell of a lot easier to deal with almost anything when you have money to throw at it

There's a huge difference between money buying happiness and making life easy though.

I first posted on this thread on the anniversary of my sons still birth. It is hugely dismissive and callous to have it suggested that it's easier for me to deal with that grief because I'm not wondering where my next £10 is coming from.

RiversrunWoodville · 07/08/2017 09:28

I've been so bad that the dog has eaten, I haven't. Now I'm with DH and we live in a good size house (farmhouse) and everyone assumes we are rich. They don't see that the roof is decades old and needs fixed, the front of the house is ancient (literally) has windows that let in driving rain and a front door that doesn't open because it's swollen shut and too fragile to move. They don't see it's all done on a patch together "make do and mend" job so we can keep our kids fed clothed and entertained and two workers paid year round because if we didn't we wouldn't survive. Still it's when are you getting some new tractors instead of those old things? Er when you pay reasonable prices for what we sell thanks.

Genghi · 07/08/2017 10:01

What really annoys me is when people who started with nothing/on the breadline but who now have money, give advice and because it involves a lot of hard work, sacrifice, and learning new things people dismiss it.

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