To try to make a child good at sports.

[Georgieporgypuddinandpie]

Am quite prepared to hear that I am, but hear me out....
My ds, age almost 5 seems to be following in the family tradition of being a physically bumbling maths geek... There's tons of us in the family I swear!!
He loves drama, dancing, singing and swimming, is a fast runner and likes climbing but
When it comes to any sort of team sports that kids can expect to be included in eg football, rounders, rugby etc
He's utterly clueless. He can't catch, throw or hit at all and I fear that he's shaping up for a lifetime of being picked last for every team.
So, close to us is a local leisure centre that offers 1-1 coaching sessions from age 5.
Would it be unreasonable to make him go to these for a while to at least build a basic level of competence and confidence?
I've asked him and he says no but he might enjoy it once he gains confidence?
Or alternatively I could sign him up each term to a different sport and see if he takes to any of them?
Or I could just leave him alone and if he ends up being "that" kid, point out all the things he is good at?
Am planning on doing this as well as the drama/dance type things that he enjoys not instead of.
Thanks!

Not U at all in your basic aim. I think it is possible to make someone who isn't naturally talented at sports at least competent and it's good to start young.

But I agree that 1-to-1 coaching at this age probably isn't the way to go. I would continue with the dance and swimming and encourage his interests there - take him to the pool regularly outside of lessons, etc.

Other than that, make sure he learns to ride a bike, catch a ball, kick a ball by taking him out regularly and doing that in a low-key way as part of your day. Suggest other activities (football club, tennis) now and again and see if he expresses an interest. If he likes dance he might like gymnastics too - great for co-ordination.

My DS has been going to Taekwondo since he was four. He's just turned five. It's a beginners class for little ones and their parents, so I go too now and we do the class together. We are both rubbish but getting better and they do fun games too. Maybe something like that?

My DS is very small for his age so I wanted something to build his confidence. My eldest detests team sports but took up Taekwondo aged 14 last year and now aged 15 she is brilliant at it. Also, when they're older there's loads of cool sports to do - climbing wall, kayaking, rowing, fencing etc.
However, unlike most posters I would give the coaching a go and see how he likes it. He might enjoy it.

Team sports aren't everything. Encourage the running and dance. If he likes dance he may also like gymnastics. I think it's important to encourage physical activity in kids. Team sports not so much.

Mary I hope they don't allow picking teams but I've been unnerved by the fact that the school he's starting is very proud of its sporting reputation.... But we'll see.

For those saying he's too young to know yet whether he'll be sporty, unfortunately our family has form for being awful at sport and looking at his pre school report it could be describing several other family members too.
Every other section, pleasure to teach, chatty, confident, doing well etc.
Physical skills section... Full of polite teacher euphemisms.

Thank you all for your views though it's been very interesting reading them all, some really different opinions.
I think in general I favour allowing him to be who he is without unnecessary coercion but I might see how we feel once he's settled properly into his new school.

As some one involved in kids sports I'd keep encouraging him and yes give the coaching a go if you think it will boost his confidence. All kids can improve with practice at anything. They may not be the best but will improve.
Breaks my heart when a parent declares their child 'no good at sport' or 'not sporty' as its normally history repeating itself...they didn't learn the basics when young so never kept up. They allow their own children to fall into same pattern.

Why don't you take him down to the local athletics club so that he gets exposed to lots of sports.

Given the rise in childhood obesity, there's no harm helping him develop a love of sport regardless of whether he's going to excel at it.

Don't force a kid to do anything they don't want to do, particularly sports. They will rebel. That's what I did!

Haven't RTFT- my bad - but think about a tri-club... triathlons are so very popular and there are kids clubs for them now, also aquathlons which are just swimming and running, and those are things he enjoys. Kids can compete in team events too like the elite World Cup series so he could get the experience of being in a team as well as competition. I am no expert so I am not sure what age they can join this sort of thing but it could suit him. And running is always useful for sports day! My DS Was not v sporty not running or anything but practising in a fun way can help... try playing catch with easier things than balls too... big soft things and then little bean bags or hackysacks... success breeds success as they say. We have been known to play catch with loo rolls... yup crackers by name.... DS is all grown now... even though he wasn't ever a popular pick for teams he always had a go and he does exercise regularly... so he didn't get out off being active which is the main thing really (unlike his mother)

Lots of Catching and throwing of balls. Kicking too.
Running, climbing and swimming.

Kids need to be v fit.

I don't think yabu I think you love him and want to save him from the embarrassment you felt. Send him give it a few weeks if he really hates it u tried! I don't think u sound pushy just a caring mum actually.

Judo is amazing for geeky types. My son describes it as 'very physical chess'.

They can choose to compete or not. They get the benefits of team spirit without the responsibility of others depending on them for results.

And if they encounter a bullying problem (sadly often geeky kids do at some point) they can stand up for themselves in a measured and controlled way, and probably will only need to do so once.

Just asking, would you force him into football/rounders/rugby if he were a girl?

Niki....tricky one because I've never been a mum to a girl, but yes I think I'd have liked a girl to have the chance to become a bit more adept at sport than me. Nobody's forcing anything though, just encouraging him to have a go.
As pp said it may well be my own confidence and lack of enthusiasm for sport that are holding him back from being more enthusiastic.

I certainly don't subscribe to the "girls sing and dance and boys play football" school of thought.
He loves his weekly dance and drama class and if he keeps it up I'll be very pleased.

It's not so much that, I just find it odd that people always seem really bothered about a boy not being into "boy" sports (like rugby and football) whereas they could care less if a girl isn't into sports at all but will maybe encourage some kind of other exercise.

Maybe look into things like swimming, or sports that aren't really team competitive/hand-eye coordination based like others have probably suggested before me.

Kaykay we have a martial arts centre that's easy walking distance from our house so I was considering it.... Do they teach them that they can't just randomly start tackling their friends in the playground?? I'd be a bit worried

He's only 5. We've had kids at the Micro rugby (age 5-7) who spend the first 3 years not being able to catch balls, don't know which direction to run, clinging on to their parent's legs (perm any one or all of the above ). It's the skill of the coaches to herd cats keep it fun.

By the time they're 8, they start to build confidence.

Some kids don't like it (even those from "rugby families") go away for a few years and then come back and enjoy it. Other kids take to it from the start.

Some kids come new to the sport at 11/12 (secondary school) - and yes, some of them still have to learn to catch balls

Don't force him - let him do what he enjoys - but also look for good clubs (whether football, rugby or whatever) which encourage involvement and enjoyment rather than purely winning.

A very big thing in martial arts is respect/honour and that you use your gained skills only for self defense, not for attacking people! o:

Do you live near the sea or near lochs, rivers etc? I have two boys who LOVE playing 'throwing stones in the water' (given that they are not allowed to throw stones elsewhere). Now they are mid/top end of primary I realise that they both have great throwing / bowling arms, which I think is down to hours of 'practice', even though we didn't do this as a formal sporty thing. (They are also very good at skimming stones, which has a coolness cache.)

Maybe look into things like swimming, or sports that aren't really team competitive/hand-eye coordination based like others have probably suggested before me

O/p has already said that her son does running, climbing, swimming, dancing, and is "good" at them.

So why the determination to class him as physically inept, geeky, non sporty? You seem to have written him off, at 5, as inheriting your families "physically bumbling" quality.

I just don't get it. Why force him into ball sports, which he isn't good at, and likely won't enjoy, because you see them as "proper" sports, when he has physical activity he likes?

O/p, you need to change your mindset. Stop saying he's clueless at sport, he isn't. You wouldn't say a top lawyer is not clever or academic because he isn't a mathematician, would you?

I bet it's news to Usain Bolt and Michael Phelps that they aren't sporty. Maybe if their parents had got them some coaching in ball sports they wouldn't be so physically clueless...

I think OP's getting a hard time off some people. She isn't rubbishing any sports or telling Usain Bolt that he isn't sporty.

She's being realistic in that team/ball sports are a big part of school and her son might well have a more pleasant experience if he attains a basic level of competency in such sports.

I think she's being realistic and is just exploring options. At age 5 I'd just suggest doing some taster sessions to see if he likes anything. I'd also give 1-2-1 coaching a go.....I think in a way at this age he's less likely to see it as "I'm shite at this so much be fixed" and more as a fun 'play' session where he gets the coach's full beam of attention.

Good luck with it OP!

Yes Nowt I think you've got the nail on the head. I'm quite happy with him concentrating on the things he can do, ball sports aren't important to me as such, BUT
They do focus on things like football, rounders, dodgeball, cricket in the school that he's going to attend. They're proud of their extra curricular activities, teams and specialised PE staff. Now at the end of the day he may manage just fine without me intervening, he may be a slow starter then get to grips with it later, or he may struggle and end op hating ball sports and feeling rubbish about himself.
Being a bit clueless myself I do try to play ball games with him but it's like the blind leading the blind

How many hours do you spend in the garden throwing a ball with him? How effusive are you at complimenting him and building up his confidence?

My dad did all of this with me from a young age, netball posts, tennis balls, tennis games etc etc etc. It made be good at sport.

All good as long as he has fun. The moment he stops enjoying it, you have to stop pushing him, OP!

The brilliant news is: the geek shall not inherit but has already inherited the earth. This formerly physically bumbling maths geek (along with my physically bumbling maths geek peers of my time) has turned out brilliantly and, as an adult, is actually a lot more fit and sporty now than the popular and good at team sports kids of 20 years ago.

My children like sports and there is always something to join in with. My friend has a non sporty child and he feels left out in the playground at times. So I can totally see the benefit of learning to enjoy sport. I think it's a good idea as your approach sounds like you are keeping it fun.

I am shit at music and really glad one of my DC has got into it, I can see how much pleasure and self esteem it brings.

With most kind fondest respectful felicitations,
Your humble mumsnetter
Ms Paradise City QC.