To try to make a child good at sports.

[Georgieporgypuddinandpie]

Am quite prepared to hear that I am, but hear me out....
My ds, age almost 5 seems to be following in the family tradition of being a physically bumbling maths geek... There's tons of us in the family I swear!!
He loves drama, dancing, singing and swimming, is a fast runner and likes climbing but
When it comes to any sort of team sports that kids can expect to be included in eg football, rounders, rugby etc
He's utterly clueless. He can't catch, throw or hit at all and I fear that he's shaping up for a lifetime of being picked last for every team.
So, close to us is a local leisure centre that offers 1-1 coaching sessions from age 5.
Would it be unreasonable to make him go to these for a while to at least build a basic level of competence and confidence?
I've asked him and he says no but he might enjoy it once he gains confidence?
Or alternatively I could sign him up each term to a different sport and see if he takes to any of them?
Or I could just leave him alone and if he ends up being "that" kid, point out all the things he is good at?
Am planning on doing this as well as the drama/dance type things that he enjoys not instead of.
Thanks!

Leave him alone. One of my nieces detests sport. She sees sports day as a necessary evil and her attitude when it's finished is 'Thank goodness that's over for another year' She's pretty much always last or in the last couple and couldn't care less. She's great at plenty non sporty things and they're what we focus on. She'd be absolutely miserable if she was pushed to doing sports

Team sports are tribalism and encourage horrible competitiveness. I don't want my kids to be boasting that they won or crying that they lost. If it's a game it doesn't matter who wins.
Let him do whatever he prefers out of school.

Do you watch any sport at home? I find that parents who aren't interested in sports have kids who aren't interested in it as they are not exposed to it.
I wouldn't force him, ds at this age took footy coaching and you could tell the kids who had been taken there against their will.
On the plus side i work with a guy whose son was totally not into any sport at that age, his dad was, dsd left it and eventually lad asked to join a football team a few years later as most of his friends played. I would encourage you to play with him as pp have suggested and not worry for another couple of years at least..... sport in school won't start properly for a few years anyway

Get a really soft ball and practise throwing and catching at home. If he can do that, he'll already not be last picked.

converseandjeans: The aim is to converse in civility. One must do what one can!

It's a forum, mate. It's not email.

Op, sounds like u have a great kid who's good at lots of stuff- encourage him to play to his strengths. I think being a bumbling maths geek is not a bad thing, being strong at maths will be more likely to get him a good job when he leaves school than being good at sports. Let him do things he enjoys, doesn't matter if he's last kid to get picked at sport, won't matter at all once he leaves school. No one can be good at everything.

Mr M.JD. i like the cut of your jib!

I was that child, too, and it was deeply humiliating. So much so, that even as an adult, if someone says "Here, catch" then before they've even tossed it to me, my heart is thumping in anxiety.

But one summer my big brother decided to teach me. We were about 17 and 13. (I don't know what came over him, because normally I was just an embarrassment to him .) For one month we played throwing/catching/batting games almost every day. He gave me tips, encouraged me, coached me.

The new school year began, and by half-term I was no longer being picked last. Suddenly I could bat and field. The difference it made not to be considered a liability was amazing.

So I would say, yes, give it a go. Do it in an unpressured way. Not "right, we've got to get you fixed", but "this looks like fun!". A bit of non-judgemental one-to-one coaching can be brilliant. Maybe make it a regular summer holiday activity - one week's coaching. Follow up with playing games in the garden or park.

I went to see Derren Brown once on stage. I remember him saying he was one of those kids who was a bit geeky, last to get picked at sports, etc. He commented on how the popular kids at school who were good at sports tend to lead less interesting lives when they finish school compared to the kids that were considered geeks. I think he has a point in my experience.

CockacidalManiac: Well observed!

Best,
M.JD

wizzywig: Much obliged!

Cheers,
M.JD

My ds 5 has poor coordination, so we do judo, which some he loves other parts he still needs help with. We have done footy, gym etc in the past. Certainly encourage what he enjoys. Good time to try things out without pressure. Appreciate it's tough. Trying to offer opportunities and choice. Good luck. (OT can help with fun activities, school may have one or GP can refer, there may be drop one locally)

I agree with letting him follow his own interests but have you had his eyes tested? No one noticed when I was a child that I was short sighted. It was only picked up at age 13. I had no chance with anything involving a ball because of this.

Let him play to his strengths no one good at everything.
If he enjoys sport great but it's not important if he doesn't.

I've been thinking about this. Me and DH not sporty, don't mind. Into fitness, yoga, running but definitely not team sports. However our kids do have a lot of PE to get through. So this summer I've been doing lots of throwing and catching with them (6 & 3 years old) and they have improved. However we saw friends recently that love sports and their kids are maybe more naturally talented but also the parents love doing sporty things with them and there's no hope we are going to replicate that! And their kids were leagues better than ours! So I'm hoping to maybe help my kids a little by practicing the basics but unless they want to join clubs etc I'm not going to push it as it's not something that comes naturally to either of us. And we are quite happy healthy people so it's not been a problem. (Even if I worry about them in PE lessons at school)

He's not even five years old? Poor lad.

Maybe wait until he is seven and see how he is getting on. In the meantime just let him do the things he loves.

Please leave him alone, at 5 he should just be playing. He's not a Spartan.
Yours faithfully
sonlypuppyfat ( is this what we are doing now)

Just replying to the OP - it's not "a lifetime " of being picked last, is it? It's perhaps from late primary,as early primary tends to be a bit more adult organised, til whenever organised sport stops which for my DC was Yr 10 when they had choice and non team based physical activity if that was what they preferred.
So maybe 6 years?!?
No big deal in a lifetime!

If schools are still allowing kids to pick teams (what a horrible, outdated practice), then I think parents should be focusing their energies on demanding that schools change policies.

Otherwise, ensuring that your own child isn't picked last will just result in someone else's child being last instead.

Do schools actually still permit this?

He can't enjoy and be good at everything! He likes singing, dancing, climbing etc, sounds like loads for a five year old. Let him find his own way.

If he isn't hugely objecting, give it a go. 5yos are certainly able to tell when they aren't valued in the playground kickabout however careful the PE teachers are to be inclusive.
Having been a last-picked and invariably last-placed kid in all races etc from age 4 onwards, I tried to at least practice catch and a bit of kickabout with ds, which didn't work well as I can't kick without falling and he really didn't want to. He did however love the 'PE club' that school organised that was basically remedial PE, for him and other uncoordinated Y1-Y2s, so now might join kicking a ball for 5 min and possibly trying to catch a jumper chucked in his direction, so it's worth a try.

He is sporty though. Dancing, swimming and running are perfectly acceptable sporting activities. If he is good at those he's hardly "physically bumbling".

Why the ball catching obsession? Are ball sports somehow better or more desirable activities?

I was a national level gymnast as a child. Seriously good. But utterly shit at catching balls. As in really can't. If someone had suggested I try netball or tennis lessons as I was "physically bumbling" in my attempts, i'd have told them to try a double backflip on beam and then tell me i wasn't sporty.

If he's good at running and swimming, let him do those rather than force him to do sports he isn't as good at so he can fit in better. You will make him think he isn't sporty.

I like MJD's sign off. It's...cosy

At 5 DS really didn't enjoy any sports. By 9 he was doing rugby & karate, at 10 he started parkour as well. He got loads of confidence from joining Cubs that made him want to try new things. Is there a Beavers near you your DS could join?

Oh, and tennis & cricket taster seasons at school too - all of his own volition.