DH is a really hands on Dad. He works full time in a pressured job but when he's at home he helps out with our 4 kids and does some household jobs regularly (changes the bin, puts the bins out, empties the dishwasher, feeds and cleans the cat out and more often than not he washes and sterilises the bottles). He also helps with other things as and when such as doing the washing or making the lunch.
Earlier this year he went away with his friends to a far away destination (one which I'd love to go to) at great cost to us. I looked after the kids including our baby who was only a few months old and still waking through the night. He went, he enjoyed it and when he came on, he just went about life as usual. There were no offers to look after the kids while I took some time for myself and he was actually a bit ill the following week, probably due to the masses of alcohol he had consumed.
I went away this week on my own, with my 3 older kids. Due to the nature of the holiday, I left my youngest with my MIL. DH went to work as usual but once home at 4:30-5:00, the night was his own. To be honest, I was a little envious of the quietness he would have, how tidy the place would be and how he could do what he liked without me or the kids.
I came back after a very tiring week and again, there was no offer of respite. I just got on with emptying the cases and starting the washing.
Today we have had a huge argument as I told him I was going to do some household jobs upstairs that would take most of the afternoon so did he need me before I went up. He asked for help making lunch. I asked if he had plans for the afternoon which he didn't. I helped but was pissed off as after lunch, he could now sit and chill in the garden with the kids while I was now going to be longer with my long job.
Apparently as I had a lie in this morning and am going out this evening for a friends hen do, I should have helped him out with his jobs and offered to make him a drink as he was having a rubbish day. When I pointed out that I had been with the kids all week, he said that didn't count as it was fun. Yes he's right but it was tiring too.
We haven't been getting on well for a while so I'm unsure if it's just me making a mountain out of a molehill or him being a twat.
Basically it feels as if his day is always worse because he has a hard job. I choose to stay at home (although I do have a small part time job when I go back after maternity leave but that isn't as pressured as his role) so therefore I must love everything about my life.