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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel sympathy to the National Trust volunteers at Felbrigg Hall?

539 replies

lucydogz · 05/08/2017 08:03

<a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/uk-england-norfolk-40825660&ved=0ahUKEwjXzYeYwb_VAhUDB8AKHfOABAsQiJQBCJcCMCU&usg=AFQjCNESdvsFPzoWQVu_7i8WHq_3mutfKA&ampcf=1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">link
I'm pro-inclusion of minority groups, but think the NT should stick to doing it's job - looking after old houses. As most of its volunteers are retired, who might not want to be representatives of whatever right-on case the Trust decide to espouse,it's also short sighted of them to treat volunteers this way.

OP posts:
bingobunny · 05/08/2017 13:36

they've overturned the decision now, it will be optional.

bingobunny · 05/08/2017 13:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bingobunny · 05/08/2017 13:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 05/08/2017 13:39

Nice bomber jacket, Bingo Grin

bingobunny · 05/08/2017 13:40

sorry have reported my wrong link

brasty · 05/08/2017 13:40

Oh great. So now we know the NT is still not welcoming of LGBT people. But is of heterosexual middle class white people. Their main clientele.

CaoNiMartacus · 05/08/2017 13:46

As a gay woman, I would rather the volunteers have the option of wearing the lanyards or not wearing them. Just as I'd like to have the option of walking around an NT property holding hands with my female parter if the mood took me and if I had one!

Heavy-handed liberalism sickens me just as much as open bigotry.

SerfTerf · 05/08/2017 13:53

Oh great. So now we know the NT is still not welcoming of LGBT people. But is of heterosexual middle class white people. Their main clientele.

You are joking?

What do you think the whole season is about?

Why does enforced badge wearing become the index issue?

Madness.

diddl · 05/08/2017 14:10

"The National Trust should be open and welcoming to everyone and it shouldn't need a badge for one group and not the others. "

Absolutely!

For me this sums it up perfectly.

It's the 21st century FFS!

Isn't the issue that this should be felt at all necessary?

Mollyboom · 05/08/2017 14:14

I think you missed the point- you don't need a badge.

brasty · 05/08/2017 14:15

No you don't. But lots of people saying they should not be talking about how this may was gay. Although NT talks all the time about how straight people are straight.

SerfTerf · 05/08/2017 14:19

@brasty have you seen the full national LGBTQ programme from the NT?

www.nationaltrust.org.uk/lists/celebrating-our-lgbtq-heritage-exhibitions-installations-and-events-at-our-places

DressedCrab · 05/08/2017 14:23

Glad to see that the NT realised their mistake.

BasketOfDeplorables · 05/08/2017 14:36

I don't think symbols like this should be compulsory - I find 'corporate values' a bit distasteful, really.

I would happily wear the rainbow badge, but I'd support anyone's right to not do so. If I was working alongside someone who had bigoted views I would choose to not associate with them outside of work, but I would still stand up for their right to not wear the badge.

Symbols like this are important. If I was working with someone sexist, and we all had to wear something celebrating women's rights I would feel like it was cheapened by someone who disagrees with it wearing it because it's uniform. Equally, if I'd found the organisation to be not great at dealing with sexism in the workplace I would see it as unfair that they get to appear to the public that they believe in something when they don't follow through.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 05/08/2017 14:40

Basket, exactly.

worridmum · 05/08/2017 14:54

I bet people on here would not be happy to be forced to wear a badge saying WHITE POWER or some other such hate sysmbol, so why should these sysmbols be forced upon people?

Why is it ok to force badges supporting LBGT, POPPIES or PINK RIBBONS fine, but forcing other are not so?

it defeats the entire purpose of the symbol if you force people to wear them, how is it any different to germany in 1930s who forced all people to wear swastics?

AngeloftheSouth84 · 05/08/2017 14:58

The NT should be trying to keep visitor numbers up
In which case it shouldn't be so expensive.

woodhill · 05/08/2017 14:59

Yes, why wouldn't some posters suffice.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 05/08/2017 15:00

'In which case it shouldn't be so expensive.'

Can't disagree with you there...

BasketOfDeplorables · 05/08/2017 15:00

I don't know if the volunteers in question are bigoted or not. I imagine many NT volunteers in general are not supportive of homosexuality, as these attitudes exist in society.

Whether these particular volunteers are not supportive of the film because of their stance on homosexuality or because of their belief about what the previous owner of the property would have wanted is hard to determine. But how we should treat people after their death is quite a complex question. Had the story been of a straight man who had had many affairs, one with someone famous that would possibly draw interest from visitors, then possibly his children may prefer this family history to not be publicised. Equally, using someone's personal struggles with mental health issues to raise awareness for that cause may be something that the family may not wish to happen, if they knew that the person in question was sensitive about their mental health being private.

These things aren't ever simple - it's perfectly natural that people will disagree, and neither may be wrong.

BasketOfDeplorables · 05/08/2017 15:11

I have friends who refuse to wear anything like the 'Cancer, we're coming to get you' badges as they disagree with the portrayal of cancer as a war. They have either been through cancer, or experienced someone very close do so and passionately disagree with the 'lost his battle to cancer' talk. A friend of mine who died spoke of how that narrative made him feel like he just wasn't trying hard enough, even though he knew that wasn't the rationale behind it.

These are all people who fundraise for cancer research, who donate in remembrance, but just can't bring themselves to endorse that message. There are many reasons why people may not wish to wear a badge, and even if every volunteer who didn't want to in this case, has done so for bigoted reasons, it still shouldn't be compulsory.

BoomBoomsCousin · 05/08/2017 15:12

I think it's fair enough for a charity that is trying to encourage a section of society to use its service to require front of house representatives to follow the marketing/branding involved, including wearing badges etc.

Obviously with volunteers there is a greater need for organizations to appreciate they need buy in from those representatives. But if a few volunteers don't buy into the organizations direction, it isn't unreasonable for the organization to say "That's very sad, but we're going ahead anyway. You're welcome to continue volunteering away from the public eye where you won't disrupt the branding/marketing."

There is of course a separate question of whether the marketing of this property to the LGBTQ community is appropriate. But it seems reasonable to me.

I don't think YABU to sympathize with volunteers who find themselves no longer able to support the direction of an organization they've put a lot of time into. But it is in the nature of large organizations that they must adapt to survive, and because of that there will inevitably be some losses along these lines. So the while sympathetic, I dont think there is anything that should be done about it.

Saucery · 05/08/2017 15:16

No argument from me on that one, Angel! I pay monthly for a family membership and that encourages us to get our money's worth when we can, even if it's just in a car park for a walk. The cost of a day trip to somewhere like Quarry Bank Mill is eyewateringly expensive and I think that is a major factor in the Middle Class Membership issue. I know it isn't cheap to maintain those buildings but blimey, no wonder it prices out many families in target demographics.

LuLuuuuuuu · 05/08/2017 15:56

Zzzzz Change the record, all them calling the volunteers Bigots .

WTF should they be made to wear a badge if they don't agree ? We don't ALL have to accept the fucking rainbow badge or flag or whatever else . People still have CHOICE FOR NOW !

BroomstickOfLove · 05/08/2017 16:11

Well yes, but presumably they also have a dress code, and wear some sort of badge identifying them as a NT room guide or whatever, and have some restrictions on the sorts of things they can say to visitors, and don't get to wear whatever they want to anyway, do a small rainbow badge isn't exactly a huge imposition.

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