I am a former smug married. Are you?

[ferriswheel]

I'm now desperate to be divorced from my angry stbxh. My world seems filled with patronising, condescending and offensive advice from smug marrieds. Did you used to be a smug married? What changed?

Never smug. Marriage is such hard work!!

I am now happily married (although definitely not smug!).

I didn't live with anybody until I was 35yo and 34 weeks pregnant. I was perfectly happy living by myself until then (I'd bought a house when I was 19) but after I'd moved in with him, my sister said 'I'm glad you're living with somebody, I always felt so sorry for you, living by yourself all those years' .

She literally has not been single since she was 15 (her relationships all overlapped); I don't actually think she was smug - I guess she just couldn't comprehend that somebody could actually be happy living by themselves.

I appreciate that honesty blacktea

I do think the world assumes you're a couple and that is that.

My ex best friend is a smug married! Her husband is an immature useless idiot who she practically babies and has to do everything for. Everything!
He also pushes her about and has hit her, grabbed her round the throat etc in front of their child.

But she still thinks she's better than me because I left my husband and she's still married!
She's always putting photos of their lovely family days out on Facebook when I know for a fact she's ended up in tears after being mentally abused by her husband all day.

I've had to stop talking to her.

Married but hopefully not smug. I remember many a Bridget Jones' type dinner party surrounded by smug marrieds, it was hell. People considered themselves far superior to a mere singleton like me.

The worst smug married I have encountered is currently living in a loveless marriage , sleeping in separate bedrooms with a toxic atmosphere that is starting to affect her children.

However, I think, admitting to the world at large that there is a problem is a huge barrier for her. I feel desperately sorry for her and the kids. Her husband has been a dick so deserves no sympathy.

But because I'm human and her little digs about my single status stung over the years I' ever so slightly pleased to see her so miserable while my life boring and single though it may be trundles along.

"My parents divorced and the amount of people who felt it was their right to comment was unbelievable."

One of the worst things as a child about growing up in a single parent family was that any old fucker felt like they could wade in and give judgement or discipline to me directly. They would never have done this if it was a nuclear family situation, it was very damaging.

Very happily married for years and years and still very much in love.

But we don't declare our lurve via social media [shudders], neither do we indulge in overt PDAs...but behind closed doors we're passionate.

We bicker and snap at each other sometimes, and we're not always 100% kind or thoughtful. Sometimes we disagree like adults...sometimes we spat like teenagers. But we could never be indifferent to each other, and it is indifference which is the opposite of love, not hate.

But, the sex is great and he makes me smile every day and we are very, very good together. But I'm aware that what works so well for us might well be someone else's idea of Hell.

Ha, no. I'm still awaiting the opportunity to become a 'smug married' Not ruling out the possibility but ....f**K he'll need to be amazing cos my life certainly is.