Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Shopping in a budget store for wine with a grown up child

156 replies

Jenny2710 · 04/08/2017 23:02

She is 24 Iam much older, verging on 60, big shop after a holiday, can't buy alcohol as she does not have id , my shop, my card, what is going on.? Has anyone else had had this? So confused? Annoyed!

OP posts:
GetOutOfMYGarden · 05/08/2017 00:20

I compromise would be for said cashier to call a manage to make an informed decision, surely?

A manager isn't going to take on the risk for if it turns out you're a police sting. Sounds ridiculous but if the cashier won't serve you then the manager isn't going to take the risk.

WatchingFromTheWings · 05/08/2017 00:22

Count yourself lucky - we're in a part of the US where they will id you if you look under 40!! Have no idea why...

There is a good chance it will be upped to 30 here in the Uk. 🙈

Betsy86 · 05/08/2017 00:23

Its true once cashier makes a decision for that transaction that is that. But common sense needs to be used in these situations no clear evidence the alcohol is being purchased for a minor then carry on packing and paying. Think the fear is instilled into cashiers now though as alot can happen to you if you make the wrong decision. Im 31 but keep my id on me as just never know if il be asked i prefer to just get it out in advance to avoid any awkwardness and makes life abit easier for the cashier if they dont want to see it then hey im no spring chicken looks wise lol

ragdoll700 · 05/08/2017 00:23

If that happened to me as I usually shop with my young daughters I'd leave the shop there for them to put back that's a daft policy, if the person buying it is over 18 that should be enough. Usually if the person (daft enough to be )buying it for younger people said younger people will stay outside.

WatchingFromTheWings · 05/08/2017 00:26

If that happened to me as I usually shop with my young daughters I'd leave the shop there for them to put back that's a daft policy

They'd rather lose your customer than their licence (I'm not being flippant or rude....that really is what it comes down to.)

WatchingFromTheWings · 05/08/2017 00:28

I've had customers walk out and leave their shop when refused an age related sale. Response from higher management is always 'that's fine, better that than risk our licence'.

ragdoll700 · 05/08/2017 00:29

Watching from the wings that's fair enough but I'm 38 no one would be losing a licence just costing themselves money having to repack all the shopping, thankfully I'm not in the UK.

Maryz · 05/08/2017 00:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WatchingFromTheWings · 05/08/2017 00:34

@ragdoll700 this is where proxy selling would come in. If you're shopping with older teenagers and the cashier suspects something age related in the trolley may be for them, they have to ID them too and refuse the sale if ID is not provided. Whether or not this is judged correctly will depend on the cashier and their age/experience/common sense.

melj1213 · 05/08/2017 00:35

If that happened to me as I usually shop with my young daughters I'd leave the shop there for them to put back that's a daft policy

So you would abandon and entire shop (which will be put back by someone else, not the cashier, whose job is to return left stock to the right place on the shopfloor) that you've spent time and effort selecting & shopping for all because you got IDed?

Who exactly do you think you are punishing in this scenario?

ragdoll700 · 05/08/2017 00:37

Watching from the wings as I said fair enough but I would just leave the shopping which would cost the store a pretty penny as they would have to throw out any deli meats, frozen food, refrigerated stuff, say I'd bought cooked meat eg chicken from the deli would all be waste because they won't sell a 38 year old alcohol as I said Daft daft policy.

ragdoll700 · 05/08/2017 00:40

Mel I'd go somewhere I could do a shop in peace but I do not live in the UK and do my shop in my local supermarket where they do not have daft policies.

melj1213 · 05/08/2017 00:45

Also there is a huge difference between someone shopping with their 7 possibly 8 year old, buying wine as part of a "normal" grocery shop, and someone shopping with their 17 possibly 18 year old and buying a lot of alcopops/spirits, mixers, crisps, cakes with a few other household bits. Especially when you hear the parent asking the teenager questions about the stuff they are buying that makes it clear that these items have been bought for a teen house party. In the first instance I would never ID but in the second instance I would.

I have had countless parents stand there unpacking the shopping and straight up asked their teenager something like "Is this definitely the flavour of Koppaberg you wanted?" ... then when I've asked for ID from both of them and they teenager hasn't had any so I've had to refuse the sale, the parent has kicked off and claimed the alcohol was for them anyway, despite the fact I personally heard them confirm that it was for the teenager.

Never underestimate how oblivious some people can be to the cues they are giving the staff that the sale is not for them.

lalalalyra · 05/08/2017 00:49

Tesco have got super officious in the last year or two.

It seriously bugs me when they say that they can't do something "by law" when it's absolute bullshit.

It's your policy. Which is fine, albeit annoying, you have the right as a store to choose who to serve. But don't tell your customers (and train your staff!) that it's "the law" when it's not.

Local small shop to us don't sell any alcohol or cigarettes without id. No matter what your age. It's actually better than Tesco - you know you need your id whereas Tesco is a guessing game.

Can't win at our Tesco - can't take my 14yo twins in with me or I can't buy wine (which I need on account of aforementioned twins!), but they've also started getting arsey with people leaving children under 16 in your car in the car park.

OlennasWimple · 05/08/2017 00:51

My dad and I were prevented from buying two packs of 16 paracetamol tablets once. We initially put them on the conveyor belt together with all the other shopping, but then were told that they were not allowed to sell two packs in one transaction. When we tried to split into two transactions we still couldn't buy both packs because of store rules...

When he visited me in the US we went to CVS together and bought two tubs of 1000 paracetamol (equivalent) in the same transaction Grin

ragdoll700 · 05/08/2017 00:51

Thats fair enough Mel but Id be just buying vodka or wine perhaps a few cans for DP my children are young but I can have my niece and nephew with me regularly who are in their late teens I don't buy alcopops etc so would not expect to be stopped just because I had them with me, they are old enough to drink but I haven't as yet bought them any. But yes I would be annoyed to be stopped if they had no ID if I was paying.

Betsyboo87 · 05/08/2017 00:56

Buzzkillington yeah same in our state too. Guessing by your name we're in neighbouring states....

Worrying thing is I'm sure we get asked less than we do in the UK?! We're both early 30's. DH never has ID on him either so I have to send him out to sit in the car.

melj1213 · 05/08/2017 00:57

Ragdoll, most cashiers use their common sense - someone buying alcohol in a general shop with teenagers helping, no problem and I'm not going to ID them. But if there is even the merest hint that the alcohol is not for you then I have to ID the entire group.

But if the situation changes in any way they can be subject to being IDed. It can be something as simple as you have forgotten your card but your nephew offers to use his card to pay ... if you have alcohol in the shop I would then have to ID him (even though, when he was just accompanying you, I didn't need to before) because he is now the one buying the shopping and if he can't prove his age, I cannot allow him to purchase the alcohol.

ragdoll700 · 05/08/2017 01:01

Mel I'd happily put any alcohol back if my nephew wanted to pay for my shop and had no id :)

Betsy86 · 05/08/2017 01:03

melj1213 i think we are on the same wavelength with this thread Smile

WatchingFromTheWings · 05/08/2017 01:03

@OlennasWimple something wrong there! 2 packets is the maximum you can buy. So not letting you buy 2 was wrong. Shop tills are generally set up to allow only 2 items (when it comes to paracetamol/medications so surprised they only allowed one!

thepumpk1neater · 05/08/2017 01:04

I've seen this before. It's quite odd though isn't it, in a way, the intent to supply? Even for under 18s, they can have a glass of the wine you've purchased quite legally when you get home.

I do understand why they do it, though can imagine it's annoying.

WatchingFromTheWings · 05/08/2017 01:07

Watching from the wings as I said fair enough but I would just leave the shopping which would cost the store a pretty penny as they would have to throw out any deli meats, frozen food, refrigerated stuff, say I'd bought cooked meat eg chicken from the deli would all be waste because they won't sell a 38 year old alcohol as I said Daft daft policy.

That's pennies compared to what they'd lose if their alcohol licence was taken away.

These are policies that have been decided upon by governing bodies, local councils, police and Trading Standards. The ships themselves have no choice in this.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 05/08/2017 01:08

I have never had this & I've shopped with my children so many times with alcohol in the trolley. Must vary from shop to shop. Annoying for you though!!

Is this new? Never experienced this. My son still looks young enough to have to carry ID if he is on his own but never been asked if he is just helping me with shopping.

WatchingFromTheWings · 05/08/2017 01:09

'Shops' not 'ships', obviously. Hmm