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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

... to think MNers are a strange bunch?

309 replies

user1457213512 · 04/08/2017 21:13

Aibu to think that Mumsnet can't be representative of real life, can it?!

A lot of people on here just seem so, I don't know, just... odd. Bizarre. Strange. A lot of people on here just seem to have really outlandish odd opinions that I'm just not sure if I'd ever hear someone have in real life. Posters just seem to pick up on the most unusual things from posts i.e. A poster posts about how they didn't get a house they bid on, and then another poster chimes in saying how they're even lucky to have 5p in savings etc etc (I'm rubbish at examples).

So yes, aibu to think that some (not all) mumsnetters are crazy aliens who I have no idea how they function in the real world?

Ps I like mumsnet and it provides me with a lot of entertainment. The strangeness does not make me want to leave.

OP posts:
creamcheesechampion · 05/08/2017 13:08

I often think this. I love MN and think MNers are some of the most warm and helpful people out there but sometimes I just think there's no way you'd say that to someone you know in real life. At times it seems like people will do anything to blame a problem on the OP.
Random example: OP will post an AIBU saying she offered to clean her mate's whole house as her mate has been busy recently but her mate has now messaged saying she's disappointed because the house isn't clean enough. Rather than people saying she's bloody rude, cue loads of posters saying 'why didn't you just say no in the first place?', 'stop being a doormat OP you should've said no to cleaning it anyway' etc.

Glittermakeseverythingbetter · 05/08/2017 13:27

Date with Terry not going too well. I decided to sneak off to the toilets to come on mumsnet but there was obviously a hoverer in before me, as the seat is all wet. Terry's mum insisted on coming with me. We've known each other for 20 minutes, and already she's asking if I can get her a key cut for my back door, so she dosen't have to climb through the window to hack off my toddlers fringe and shove a packet of wine gums in his gob while we are sleeping.
Terry is currently trying to smooth things over with the manager of the restaurant. According to his mum, that woman didn't look disabled enough to be having that large toilet to herself. She's currently doing her best impression of a daily mail sad face, and muttering how they shouldn't be treating her like this, as she is currently being tested for being slightly OCD.

MNHQ
YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet · 05/08/2017 13:31

Thanks to those who have reported this thread to us. We've now had to remove several posts for breaking our talk guidelines for being disablist. We'd just like to remind everyone that we take a dim view of posts suggesting that it's wrong to implement measures that enable people with disabilities to live a full life. Such posts don't fit with Mumsnet's basic philosophy of support and advice for all parents. For those who need a reminder, our Talk Guidelines are here.

footballmum · 05/08/2017 13:43

Only on MN have I come across people who don't consider their spouse's siblings' children to be their nieces and nephews!! Never, ever come across that in RL!

Plus the going NC thing. Don't get me wrong, I can see where that might be the thing to do but there are cries of going NC over day to day irritations. In RL, you go down the pub with your mates, whinge about your MIL then still have her round for Sunday lunch!!

poweredbybread · 05/08/2017 13:43

This thread is brilliant. I know I'm weird and I'm on mumsnet. As one of the real housewives says some 'ladies need to loosen up ' Grin

headinhands · 05/08/2017 13:45

glitter please write some Mumsnetty novels! You're hilarious 😂

sugarandshite · 05/08/2017 13:48

Don't forget anyone who asks a poo/toilet/bowel related question being accused of being a "poo troll".

poweredbybread · 05/08/2017 13:59

Why is everyone posting about their partners have affairs this week did everyone go made and shag their work colleagues during the heat ( remember when the sun came out and it was over 23 degrees) and now they are being found out !

JustDanceAddict · 05/08/2017 13:59

Love this thread! I would say I'm pretty normal, but have been on parenting forums in some shape or another for over 15 years and there's definitely nowt so queer as folk!!

BabychamSocialist · 05/08/2017 14:08

Fucking sanpro. I have never in my life heard anyone them that - they're tampons/sanitary towels/panty liners, aren't they?

Oh, and why do people say "DP/DS/DD etc does their HOBBY" - Why not just say what it is? Unless they're reenactors of the Spanish Civil War, they're hardly going to be the only person in the country who does that hobby!

derxa · 05/08/2017 14:11

Love this thread.
Mn has been great in that I have been able to talk to women farmers like me.
Also I love MrsKoala threads.

dustarr73 · 05/08/2017 14:19

I love the splitting of the bills thread.Peoplw would rather pay hundreds more for food, rather than say only pay for what you eat.

Especially as they seem to keep you g out with the same people, so the same problems keep arising.

Glittermakeseverythingbetter · 05/08/2017 14:22

Well that was a dramatic turn of events, which in the real world would span over about 3 years, but hey, we're on mumsnet time so it literally all happened in the last 5 seconds. Turns out the woman who Terrys mum accused of not being disabled enough is DODGY LEG LADY!!! Or DLL for short. DLL was saying something about being in a hurry to get back to her designated parking spot outside her friends neighbours drive (FND), when Terrys mum started having a go at her again!! She said she had sold her a dodgy bread maker. Apparently she's been farting purple glitter for months!! Like that frickin Troll Guy Diamond off that Troll movie!!

Polite message from mumsnet: as we've said already, OP is not a troll, so can we stop mentioning trolls please Smile

Farmerswife4life1984 · 05/08/2017 14:25

I know what you mean on mn every man is abusive . If he snaps at his wife in a normal way he is labelled emotionally abusive , if he won't pass her a hobnob to dunk in dw tea he is emotionally abusive , if he watches porn once he has a porn addiction ......... Iv never heard the word emotionally abusive used as much as it is on here

SaveMeBarry · 05/08/2017 14:34

Yes Farmers and don't forget the Narc diagnoses. Because these things are so easily diagnosed based an three posts on an anonymous Internet forum... Hmm

Redglitter · 05/08/2017 14:39

Mumsnet is the only place I've ever heard of people who want to lock themselves away from the outside world for a couple of weeks after having a baby. Everyone I know without exception has been desperate to show their baby off

Bluffinwithmymuffin · 05/08/2017 14:45

Today 11:19 x2boys

I,m the opposite to you minions i make thoughtful and I think insightful comments that mainly get ignoredgrin

Aw, I missed this last time I scrolled through thread, x2, but I'll be looking out for your insightful comments on other threads in future! Grin

x2boys · 05/08/2017 14:46

Oh yes fucking sanpro I couldn't work out what it was for months I thought it was some new thing I had never heard of than the penny dropped ....

x2boys · 05/08/2017 14:47

Thank you BluffinGrin

Beebee7 · 05/08/2017 14:49

@Redglitter

Mumsnet is the only place I've ever heard of people who want to lock themselves away from the outside world for a couple of weeks after having a baby. Everyone I know without exception has been desperate to show their baby off

I would disagree. I definitely wanted to stay at home and hide away when I had my babies. I hated visitors. And I just wanted to be alone/with DH/with baby(s). At least for the first 3-4 months anyway.

Nancy91 · 05/08/2017 14:49

Yep, Narc diagnoses! I'm pretty sure that it's fairly rare to have that personality disorder but on here it seems anyone you don't like is a narc!

I find a large amount of MNers are overly sensitive, it's all LTB and EVERYTHING is abuse, even the slightest rude comment said in anger. Sometimes it's just an argument, that happens in relationships, you get over it.

Things are taken so seriously on here, I sometimes feel a bit too easy going, but in real life I'm about average I think.

Starsandwishes · 05/08/2017 15:05

Posters that think it will never happen to them. They have their life 100% planned.

Beebee7 · 05/08/2017 15:24

@nokidshere

Oh definitely! Despite being happily together for 36 years and married for 30 with two teenage boys, if I took any notice of MN I would have LTB long ago, got slated for being SHAM while my children are at school, been told me or my dh were abusive when we have had a huge screaming row (and there have been a few over the years AND they included swearing at each other shock) and we would have been abusive or co-ercing for initiating make up sex when we were asleep.

I would be slated for not having an escape plan, or any savings, or any long term ambition other than my family. And OMG I moan all the time about irritating little things that are nothing in comparison to others but sometimes a vent is good for the soul right?

I would be THAT parent for protecting my children from bullies or for asking why we hadn't been invited to parties. I'm sure I've called 999 in a panic instead of taking myself off to hospital and, no matter how hard I try I cannot make a chicken last more than one day 😄

I love MN precisely because of all those things and because sometimes other people need to see their own normal more clearly and outsiders - even keyboard warriors - can help them do that.

But actually I'm a reasonably nice person who plods along happily with the odd skirmish or mistake along the way which is, I suspect, pretty much the same as everyone else here

Brilliant post. (From page 1.)

I also find it so weird that so many people come on here suggesting a woman should LTB, after a silly skirmish.

Back in the day (before the kids were born,) me and DH had a few arguments that got quite heated. It was fairly rare, and I gave as good as I got.

We also had several humdingers after the kids were born, although as we got older they became more rare. On MN today, you would get people saying he emotionally abusive and aggressive and violent and I should LTB. Find somewhere to stay tonight, get your solicitor on the case, get a 'leaving fund' together. Divorce the bastard.

Yet over a quarter century later, here I am, with a man who is the kindest, funniest, sweetest, hard-working men I know. A great dad, and a great husband. Yet if MN has been around 25 years ago and I had adhered to the advice of some, I would have been a single mother of 2 kids, probably on some horrible sink estate, being forced to work full time in a grunt job just to make ends meet (instead of working from home like I do,) and would have nowhere near the lifestyle I have, or the home I have.

SomebodysNotInBedYet · 05/08/2017 15:30

Agree Stars the very idea that you might have an unplanned pregnancy horrifies some on MN. Threads where the OP is struggling and replies are 'surely you must have factored that in when you decided to have a baby'. Whether the OP did or didn't, it doesn't matter because they have dc and are struggling. Don't see how telling them they shouldn't have had a baby helps.

Redglitter · 05/08/2017 15:31

I would disagree. I definitely wanted to stay at home and hide away when I had my babies. I hated visitors. And I just wanted to be alone/with DH/with baby(s). At least for the first 3-4 months anyway

I didn't say it doesn't happen though. I said I'd never encountered it anywhere other than on here. That still stands no matter how many people say that's what they did Confused