In being upset by friend's text?

[Cheekyfuckerneighbour]

So dh and I have been friends with this couple for four years. They have a dc the same age as ours.

We see them once or twice a week and we consider them some of our best friends.

It's her birthday coming up and I text her to ask her if she had plans for it.

She replied "I'm going to xxxxx for dinner with my girlfriends. Then a family lunch the next day."

I replied "oh that's sounds fun! Nice your birthday falls on a day with so much fun stuff going on." (There's a street parade and party in the evening which they asked us to last year and we've talked about ever since as it was so fun.)

Nothing back. Clearly I'm not invited to dinner and we aren't invited to the other stuff either.

The group of girls she's going out with are from her hometown so I don't hang out with them as much as the rest of our group of friends but I've met most of them.

Aibu by being a bit hurt? I'm wondering whether to back off the relationship a bit.

The last two times dh or I have text them both to do anything they've completely ignored us. But then will ask us to something at their house and be perfectly nice.

Confused and feeling a little down. I'm 40, I thought I was past this kind of stuff.

Op I woukd just withdraw from her, she sounds like a crap friend, forgetting your significant birthday, and blowing hot and cold. She might be jealous, as you get on with her husband more.

I wouldn't be hurt, she is doing something with other friends that's all. It doesn't mean she values your friendship less.

I have never understood the "she's my best friend therefore she must do birthdays with me " thing. (I know lots that think that way so you are not on your own )

You're seeing each other too often.

Familiarity breeds contempt.

Make yourself scarce and she may appreciate you a bit more. I think she was bloody rude ignoring your lovely text. I had a frenemy like that and I scaled back the contact. Big relief.

I'd be brooding about this too. I'd be bringing it up constantly with my DH looking for answers. I had a similar thing myself not so long ago.
She doesn't hold you in the same regard you hold her for whatever reason. I guess second tier is probably right.
I'm a bit of a sucker for going out of my way to get what I see as my own back. Nothing drastic or evil, just organising something fun and not inviting her but making sure she knows about it! In other words making her feel left out.
Then I'd feel better and put it behind me. But I'd still back off and leave her to make the next contact. I wouldn't necessarily write off this friendship but it's not looking good and the Birthday thing was a big red bell I think.
People have their reasons - some people I've found are social climbers or aspirational and like getting together with people who fit their desired image. Sometimes it's jealousy. Whatever, you found nicer than her.
Good luck OP - onwards and upwards!

Sound not found

I would be very hurt. I've had this 'friend' had a big trip booked for a big birthday. Unfortunately family member was ill and it was canceled.

I was good enough for last minute childcare and coffees while kids were small and of the same ages. We met up 1-2 times a week. Phoned her and said I was sorry her trip had been canceled hoped family member was ok.

Asked if she wanted to plan a dinner, she said I am with my friends. So that was that. About six months later she messaged me and said I've never been dumped by a friend before. I didn't reply.

But people here don't do the different group thing
Your friend does and that's ok. Not everyone is invited to everything all the time OP.

Treat her, how she treats you op! Back off and concentrate on other friends.