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AIBU?

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Accused of lying - help me understand why people hate me

51 replies

Looklock · 04/08/2017 14:02

I posted recently about a work situation. I was fired cos 2 colleagues basically invented a scenario between them and said they could no longer work with me.

I've now found out that they accused me of lying about having a miscarriage last year in order to help their claims against me. My boss believed them too. This all got way to stressful for me to deal with so I now have a solicitor handling the matter for me and have all of my discharge and doctors notes re the miscarriage for him to forward on as appropriate.

But it's left me shell shocked that people would be so awful. I've had similar happen to me before in another job. A colleague I believed to be a friend confided in me about lots of personal issues she was going through, I helped her and was there for her whenever she needed me. Towards the end of our friendship she had begun to slag our other colleagues off to me which I didn't choose to join in with.

I then went on holiday and come back to find she had told our colleagues that I had been saying all of the awful things SHE had said about them. She'd also told them I had lied about my parents being dead Confused which I assure you is fact. It was all so crazy it took me a long time to deal with it.

I often have people instantly disliking me in new jobs and I've taken to not sharing any details about myself because I've been accused of making stuff in the past. I'm so nervous around people and feel like I can't read their intentions. Often I've answered questions believing it was an innocent conversation only later to realise it was either a phishing exercise or an attempt to drop me in it.

Have I just been unlucky or am I just one of those people others love to hate?

OP posts:
Flyingovertheocean · 04/08/2017 19:30

Op, I feel so bad for you. Something similar happened to me once. I was good at my job, and my boss was crap. She bullied me so badly I cried daily. She concocted loads of things, and I even started to become a not nice person. To this day, I doubt my bully realised what she was doing. She was sooo desperate to appear confident, that her only method was to knock me down so she could appear more competent than me. In the end I had to leave. I've never been bullied before or since (touch wood), but it took a long time and some great managers after her, to rebuild my confidence.

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