To not let vistors use my toilet

[IgnoreMeEveryOtherReindeerDoes]

Having just decorated the bathroom Aibu if I ask guests to piss in bucket in garden

Please this can't be serious....?!

The obvious choice for upstairs would be the brown/beige frilled

Purplesky that's literally the funniest thing I've seen

Unusual (that's an understatement) loo seats www.pinterest.co.uk/tess_fries/wicked-toilet-seats/ don't look at the last one if you're an arachnophobe.

I'm guessing you are taking the piss ( pun intended). If you are then hahahahahahaha. If this is genuine then YUK! Horrendous taste plus I presume you are prepared to wash the frilly loo cover thingy either a)daily or b) every time it's used.

Going to bed now, will have to think about redoing the loo now I have been inspired.... might fit a cherry bog brush in, and can definitely crochet a loo roll cover

OP using the toilet in your opening post would be like taking a shit on Little Bo Peep.

Hilarious ! You need a bog dolly like in the 80s a Folly that literally covers up spare look roll. All that washing when people piss on the nylon frills !!!!

"If you pause typing and listen very very carefully, you can just about hear Lawrence Llewelyn-Bowen masturbating over that photo..."

SaucyJack!

I won't need to if I visit you, OP. I travel everywhere with my private bog. I park on your drive and give the neighbours an eyeful.

I'm so glad this thread has come along, I'm having a toilet seat dilemma.

Which one of these should I go for? First Holy Communion or Probably Some Kind Of Sushi?

Get both! Who can make that kind of decision I mean look at them.

A pp mentioned squishy toilet seats - my very posh Aunty had a pink one. It also farted as you sat on it.

You're lucky to have the dilemma, I've found no-one wants to use my toilet since I redecorated

Neither are quite to my taste, Ovaries. I'm thinking of getting this one, but the colour of the bowl is a bit off-putting.
I also quite like these taps, but I can't think what they remind me of.

There are 426 very dangerous people roaming our streets, please make sure you lock your doors and windows

DIY on a budget lot will have a field day with that lot, they literally decorate anything.
Someone wallpapered the bathroom floor last time I looked.

They are probably the 426 people who have bought them.

Why is that toilet wearing a dress?

All you need now is one of these bad boys to complete the look.

BoogleHole "Bad boys? Is that a transvestite loo roll cover?

You lot have cheered me right up with your replies.

Not brave enough to post in that DIY group as they might ban me before had chance to show them my sticky back plastic fablon fridge/freezer design

Ovaries that's a bridal toilet!

I shall now go off and despair about the future of humanity. Imagine our society gets wiped out and by some fluke the freaky toilets get excavated when aliens land - they'll judge us all.

My my my. And the ones with lace remind me of old negligees. S.E.X.Y.