To ask HOW you ltb

[Onlythehorses]

Did you walk out, ask him to leave?

Dont even know where to start!

Are you OK?

Not really!

Depends on the situation.

I told my XH to leave, but the house was in my sole name so it was simple. Fuck off or the police will make you fuck off.
How can we help you OP?

I was in a dv relationship in my teens, he used to lock me in my flat when it was my day off and he had to work. After 3.5 yrs I bagged up everything I owned in bin liners, threw them out the window and jumped.
He came home to a note on the kitchen table that read....Look around, I am gone. Forever.

Relationships board - wealth of knowledge and very kind people over there. Hope you're alright

Need more info:

Do you own or rent? In whose name?
Kids?
Are you in immediate danger?

Thats so weird wet mine did the same.

Own bank account, joint or both?

Ive a bank account. No money though. Own house. We have young children.

He used to lock you in? Onlythehorses?

Contact women's aid if you can OP, they can give practical advice and support. Their number is 0808 2000 247.

Yes it was ages ago. Already tried womens aid. They say its abusive which i know but i cant just go as we have children. Feel desperate.

Womens aid will give you details of local womens hostels, you can take children there.

Take important things, bank account details, passports, birth certificates. Clothes can be replaced.

You own the house (or tenancy is solely in your name?)

Call the Police, be prepared to actually follow through with it all though. They can get him out, you must keep him out.

Its not that simple though. Anyway dont worry

Sorry it's not clear who own the house?

Alternatively, change the locks when he goes out and call the police when he comes back.

Keep posting Only. Don't go away. You asked for a reason - don't forget what brought you here.

Keep a bag of important documents/clothes and cash somewhere other than home.
Don't use your kids as an excuse to stay, use them as your motivation to leave!!!! Kids are resilient. If the house is solely yours then you can get it back. Trying to get him out may not be the best way if you're scared of him returning. Contact women's aid and get to a shelter

Of course it isn't that simple as you have been emotionally and financially abused (as well as any physical abuse).

You have no self esteem, no support network (abusers like to destroy support networks) and you are probably fearful for your safety and that if your children. You have been told you are worthless and threatened with everything from violence to having your kids taken away from you.

It's what they do OP, it's how they trap you and control you. They need you to be afraid.

No one is going to kill you or take your kids from you and once you are free of that fear you will find your strength again.

Make the call.

I started to secretly open a bank account and put in it what I could whilst getting a solicitor and looking for rental properties to move into however things came to a head one night and he walked out after an argument because I said the relationship couldn't be saved and I finally saw him for the emotionally financially sexually abusive twat he was. He went to our place of business thinking he could keep it all in his name but got a shock as first thing I rang the bank and froze the joint bank account and cancelled all the cheques and cheque books until my solicitor got the bank to remove my name and ensure no further liability from the date the relationship broke down and when he discovered that the thousands of pounds of cheques he wrote out of spite bounced and smashed the windows threatening to kill me got a non mol. The landlord of the shop already hated him and dissolved the joint tenancy as the cheques bounced and he had been removed by neighbouring businesses for making threats to me and gave me a new single tenancy (a third cheaper) on a rolling contract. Have yet to find anyone who actually liked him

Can anyone else tell him to go on your behalf?

I had the shittist luck with men and ended up
In another dv relationship 2.5yrs later, after enduring that for another 3 years he threatened me with a very large knife whilst I held our child, eventually ran off in a rage.
I reported everything to the police, he was arrested, released, I had an emergency non molestation order granted, he started texting/phoning so I reported that at first instance.
If you go back on what you say/do even for something as small
As a text they will start to think they are 'winning' you back over.
The text said he was sorry, but he was warned NOT to contact me. I meant business. he kept to the order for 12 months then didn't speak to me voluntarily for another 12 months.

I know you're scared of making that first step because you can't see your future, but just know that your future will be so much better without him in it.