AIBU to think it's damn near impossible to "be more careful"

[MyBonnieLiesOverTheOcean]

I've always been clumsy. I knock things over, chip glasses and plates, break things unintentionally etc etc.

I've not got any special needs - I'm just slapdash. But I really don't think I can help it. I've always been this way. I don't often stop and think about something before I do it and I do crash and bash about a bit.

Do you think it's possible for people like me to change? Have any of you become more careful? If so - how??? DH and I are at loggerheads about it. He gets irate when I break stuff when I'm not being careful, but I think he should know what I'm like after 25 years and shouldn't get so annoyed when I chip another (Ikea) plate. The constant criticism over this is wearing me down.

Help please if you've been in a similar situation.

Following incase a miraculous answer is suggested! I could trip over my own bare feet standing on a flat carpet. I'm ashamed to say I've taken a tumble more than once and been helped up by elderly people have broken more bones, belongings and crockery than I care to remember. Forever walking into doors, tables, tripping up stairs, literally chucking food and hot drinks down myself. And the amount of times I've forgotten Im under a cupboard or table and just stood up and twatted my own head!

i have a colleague who is so heavy handed. she crashes about the place like a bull. it is bizarre. i joked once her kitchen cabinets must all be handleless and she said yes they are in tatters

I'm going to look into dyspraxia more though as perhaps that's more it.

Be more careful is like calm down. Impossible in the middle of the act. I sympathise, when I was young I grew very quickly (inches a year) and drs explained to mum that my brain relearning where the ends of my limbs were all the time.
Obviously this doesn't apply to you but having an explanation doesn't instantly make you change.
Carpets and sturdy crockery is a start.
I can't remember proper nouns. Not like saying the wrong name of your kids like literally struggling to remember my bosses name and never feeling confident of my addesss. Good job we're not all the same

Hmm you all sound like me too!
I break stuff constantly, drop things, fall over standing still (twisted my ankle). I'm constantly covered in random little bruises. Couple of weeks ago I walked into the edge of a door and dislocated my kneecap!
I have diagnosed hypermobility,, and I suspect dyspraxia, but not tested for that. I understand the two conditions are often linked and can mask each other.

I was constantly told off for not being more careful when I was little!

I am the same. DH is convinced I am dispraxic but we've never pursued a formal diagnosis as I'm not sure there is any point. I feel almost like I have a physical dyslexia, I cannot process physical movement, I just can't fathom it out. I cannot translate oral or visual instructions into a way to move my body. I was very late to ride a bike and swim.

As I've got older I have learned to cope, for instance if I am decorating I know that I'm likely to drop the brush, flick pain, knock over the pot, so I do everything very carefully and always plan for there to be an accident, if that makes sense. I know to just plan for the worst clumsy accident that could possibly happen!

I am the same OP. I'm pretty sure I have Dyscalcula which could explain it...poor spacial awareness is part of that in addition to being awful with humbers. I couldn't tell the time for years.

IHeartDodo I assume like me you have no idea where you got the bruises because you are so used to walking into things you forget about it instantly.

I once noticed a cluster of really small bruises on my thigh, I couldn't work it out until I clicked my pen open on my thigh and hit one of the bruises, that was how I was getting them.

I also bruise easily, anyone else like that?

I'm a bit like this, but I don't think I have dyspraxia. Like you I have good hand-eye coordination for sport and enjoy fiddly crafts / tasks that require deft fingers. A lot of people in my wider family have an ADHD diagnosis and I sometimes wonder if I have a mild case. Are you distractible in other ways? Do you find it hard to wait in queues? Do you never get round to paying your bills? Is the bottom of your handbag a mess...?

sturdy crockery

Proper (not the chinese mass produced) Denby stoneware is worth its (substantial) weight in gold.

I have done some prediagnostic tests which suggest dyspraxia - can't afford a real diagnostic test. DD is dyspraxic - and a dancer. On stage she is fine, but she can still trip over her own feet going from room to room.

Just today a very kind advisor from the uni where I am doing PG study gave me some advice - I've managed my life and a family up until now but a combination of personal life breakdowns and being right at the limit of my conceptual organisational ability for my study has meant I have been dropping balls (metaphorical in this case, though no, I can't catch) - turning up a day early, lost train tickets, etc etc. The advisor suggested some resources (thankfully did this without me needing a definite diagnosis) - if anyone wants me to pass these on I can.

Interestingly, I have had two long term relationships with people who used their bodies for their careers, so very capable, and both of them drove me mad by breaking ALL MY STUFF. They just didn't give a shit about it because it was my stuff. Can't blame dyspraxia for my broken chooser. (Not suggesting this is what you are like, OP)

Meltor you describe the difficulties very well.

I'm the other way with numbers, but then again, so is DS1 who has diagnoses of ASD ad ADHD, plus has been assessed by several OTs as having extremely poor motor planning (like me, his fine work is great, when he's not hurrying too much) and DS2, who presents with severe LD is also quite intuitive with number. He'd know when one of his huge collections of stuff had an item missing long before he had the words to count them.

I'm a knockout at painting - I hyperfocus on it to exhaustion, just the same as washing glasses. Hypermobility restricts my stamina, these days, but the finish is awesome!

DH is frustratingly slapdash. I found sealant in the middle of the bathroom tiles, over the bath, after he'd fixed the back of the basin, the other day.

I have horrendous spatial awareness and an inability to grasp things properly; I drop things all the time. It's as if my brain doesn't send messages to my hands. Weirdly though, I'm very good at driving and parking.

I do have sensory issues though - I can't cope with loud noises and strong smells. I've posted on here before about bonfire night and bloody fireworks. Also women wearing 'power' perfume - I've actually had to run out of shops because the smell has made me feel sick.

I'm the exact same - I never want to break or damage things. Sometimes I do think and I think ' that's fragile but be careful' but most of the time I just spill/smash/chip things.
My family even say ' don't do a horses' when the kids are handling things.
It's annoying because I never mean to ... I just can't have nice things x

And @Whisky2014 it's not that I'm holding something fragile and put it down hard with the awareness that it will. Real ... it's that I mean to put it down gently and I slam it down and it breaks

Wow I am hyper mobile according to the online tests thing ... new info

DD is dyspraxic and dyslexic.
Her symptoms are very heightened before her period starts.

hypermobility is made worse just prior to menstruating. wibbly wobbly walking and body just not doing what it is told.

dd is the same. I do sympathise with your dh though as it does get annoying even though you can not help it. he should try to be more tolerant though.

I have perfected the art of bruising my legs ( things usually ) on anything. Car doors / table corners / kitchen doors / worktops / fridge etc -been doing it for years

@hareinthemoon - I'd be interested in the resources your adviser gave you plwase

Everyone drops things or breaks things from time to time. I do a job that requires a high degree of manual dexterity and I sometimes drop things, walk into things etc. Are you sure that your 'clumsiness' is outside of the normal range or is your DH very intolerant or impatient? I thought Bob sounded quite difficult to live with and you say he sounds like your DH. Maybe he's the problem, not you?

Following this thread with much interest. I have such poor spatial awareness that I had to stop having driving lessons. Also, I have a terrible sense of direction.

I also hate buttons!