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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think it's damn near impossible to "be more careful"

91 replies

MyBonnieLiesOverTheOcean · 03/08/2017 19:32

I've always been clumsy. I knock things over, chip glasses and plates, break things unintentionally etc etc.

I've not got any special needs - I'm just slapdash. But I really don't think I can help it. I've always been this way. I don't often stop and think about something before I do it and I do crash and bash about a bit.

Do you think it's possible for people like me to change? Have any of you become more careful? If so - how??? DH and I are at loggerheads about it. He gets irate when I break stuff when I'm not being careful, but I think he should know what I'm like after 25 years and shouldn't get so annoyed when I chip another (Ikea) plate. The constant criticism over this is wearing me down.

Help please if you've been in a similar situation.

OP posts:

Bluesrunthegame · 03/08/2017 21:58

I'm horribly clumsy, always have been. Also have terrible handwriting. DD has been diagnosed with dyspraxia, although apparently she has it mildly, is this possible? She has better handwriting, but is generally more clumsy.

Hairyfairy01 · 03/08/2017 22:00

Dyspraxia and / or hypermoblity scream out at me OP.

Liara · 03/08/2017 22:02

This thread has made me think that both me and ds1 may be dyspraxic.

Ds1 hurts himself in implausible ways so often that the medics in A&E were starting to get concerned. Then he got up from the place where they had stitched him up, and walked straight into the door frame. Looked at it, said 'ow, I missed the door' and managed to get through the door second time (with a big bump on his head). The doorway was at least 3 feet wide!

I think after that they were at least more relaxed that it wasn't us doing it to him.

Ceto · 03/08/2017 22:04

I've got decent hand to eye coordination and I've always been OK at sport so don't think it's dyspraxia in my case.

I wouldn't bet on it. It sounds like, at the very least, a motor planning difficulty. My DS was diagnosed with dyspraxia as an adult, to my shame it had never occurred to me failed mother

dnwig · 03/08/2017 22:04

I used to walk into things a lot. Think my spatial awareness wasn't great.

Since taking up yoga a year or so ago I've noticed that I don't walk into things as much. Seem more aware of "where my body is in relation to itself".

Could just be coincidence though! I do have fewer bruises

JeReviens · 03/08/2017 22:08

Thanks Teen. I don't have issues with feeling or touching stuff but there are quite a few food textures that instigate an instant retch reflex in me. I've always had that and I just find it quite interesting - but maybe everyone has it with food? I don't know. Fascinating stuff though.

Original poster

MyBonnieLiesOverTheOcean · 03/08/2017 22:08

I don't have any taste or texture issues. I am really sensitive to certain noises though (dishwasher, washing machine, aircon etc)

Interesting that a few people have said they get more clumsy when due on. I have noticed this as well (and I'm pretty the related PMT make me less tolerant of DH mentioning it!)

OP posts:

IDK · 03/08/2017 22:10

I've got decent hand to eye coordination and I've always been OK at sport so don't think it's dyspraxia in my case.

Same as my DS. His gross motor skills - sport, driving - are excellent. His fine motor skills are a source of daily despair.
Your inability to "be more careful" is probably due to poor planning and execution skills, which is due to the hardwiring in your brain being wrong. So you can't cure yourself, all you can do is try to be more mindful and 'in the moment'. Get coping strategies.

JumpingJellybeanz · 03/08/2017 22:10

Sounds like proprioceptive dysfunction. Basically your sense of where you are and how you move is slightly out of sync. There's a type of physiotherapy called body awareness training which aims to improve the signals between your body sensors and your brain. I do it at my local hospital (not UK) because it's something I struggle with because I'm autistic.

fannydaggerz · 03/08/2017 22:12

I'm the same as you OP, I've always been clumsy

dudsville · 03/08/2017 22:14

I'm also more clumsy around my period but generally I never break things. It might be worth trying to pay more attention. For an hour move about the house doing stuff and concentrate on the things you move, what you're holding and how. Be mindful of the act you're doing and nothing else your mind might float off to and see if that changes anything.

WyfOfBathe · 03/08/2017 22:17

I'm similar. I also dislike certain fabrics or anything embroidered against my skin, and avoid certain foods due to the texture.

Is there any benefit of having a diagnosis of dyspraxia, eg can anything be done to help? And if so, who would I see to talk about this? My GP?

QuirkyGoose · 03/08/2017 22:20

Hypermobility. DS has great hand eye coordination but is clumsy, was initially wrongly assessed as mildly dyspraxia but he has hypermobility syndrome not dyspraxia, so do I and I'm clumsy but poor hand eye coordination. You can't help it, I buy cheap IKEA glasses and crockery less stress

PurityOfChaos · 03/08/2017 22:23

I am another clumsy one who walks into door frames, furniture etc and break glasses while washing up.

When my back is giving me problems I walk slower and don't walk into anything. I have found its being in a hurry to get things done, always thinking of the next task while doing the present one that is the problem.

whathaveiforgottentoday · 03/08/2017 22:23

I'm the same but i'm also quite disorganised and struggle to remember things on a day to day basis. It seriously pisses me off when my DH gets annoyed with me. Its like he thinks i'm doing it on purpose whereas I would love to be less clumsy.

If i could do something about it, I would have done it but I just find it really difficult. Outside of the home I cope fine with the piss taking, but from my DH, I hate it. Lets face it, my life would be so much easier if I was less clumsy and more organised so clearly if it were easy to change I would.

My dd was similar and was recently tested and they ruled out ADHD/dypraxia/autism although she does have some processing problems. I was secretly hoping that if she was diagnosed that maybe I could get a diagnosis and be able to say to my DH - 'see there is a geniune reason for it - its not that i'm just a bit crap'
(btw i was relieved she wasn't diagnosed)

So OP , yes it very much annoys me.

EyeDrops · 03/08/2017 22:36

I've often wondered if I'm mildly dyspraxic. Always walking into door frames, tables, cupboards etc. I'm very forgetful, I just don't remember things and it's caused me no end if trouble - lists are pointless as I forget to look at them! I'd not known that textures was linked, I'm fine with food but can't bear buttons and feel uncomfortably aware of some fabrics/textures.

Is it possible for you to consciously slow down a bit when lifting/carrying crockery? To save breakages at least?

Areyoulocal · 03/08/2017 22:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DoormatBob · 03/08/2017 22:43

My DW is the same and I'm the despairing DH! It doesn't make sense why people can't slow down and concentrate on what they are doing. Im quite OCD which doesnt help.

Things my DW will do include:
Burn herself on the oven because she's can't take her eyes off fb for a second.
Turns the tap on full to make squash splashing everywhere then leaving watermarks wherever the glass goes.
Always loses socks because she doesn't spin the drum to check nothing is stuck to the top when emptying the washing machine.

In my head if any of these things happen once you change the way you do things so it doesn't happen again. It is very annoying when you see it happening and the other person is oblivious and doesn't appear to care.

ButchyRestingFace · 03/08/2017 22:49

I have very mild CP. Coordination and balance much better than they used to be but when I'm tired/under the weather/not concentrating, everything starts to go a bit tits up.

My balance goes off and I start crashing into things, going over on my ankle, knocking things over.

When this happens, I realise it's time for a nap. 😴

Original poster

MyBonnieLiesOverTheOcean · 03/08/2017 22:52

I'm quite disorganised, but I do like a list; I think they help me trick myself into thinking I'm more productive than I really am. I know I am a bit lazy and I don't have much personal motivation. And I've always been a procrastinator. I'm the kind of person who will invite friends round even though my house is a state and instead of tidying up first thing in the morning, I will fanny about on the net for 2 hours and then run around mad for 30 minutes before they arrive.

I also jump about from task to task at work and home. Everything gets done, but probably not in the most optimal order. I'm sure my attention span has reduced since I had kids.

Something to help me focus and consciously slow down is exactly what I need. I think I probably would benefit from a mindfulness course.

Thanks for all your replies - glad to hear I'm not alone in this!

OP posts:

rottenegg · 03/08/2017 22:59

I have solved this by transitioning to plastic tumblers as I smashed each glass! John Lewis picnicware for wine glasses. And I have a good line in plastic side plates and melamine bowls now. Would be a PITA if I had a dishwasher but I live in a postage stamp so I don't .

Don't think it's possible to change. Maybe tell DH acceptance is a virtue?

NormHonal · 03/08/2017 23:03

I'd bet good money you're an Aspie.

Hyper mobility causes the clumsiness and noise sensitivity: tick and tick.

You're not alone!

Original poster

MyBonnieLiesOverTheOcean · 03/08/2017 23:03

Bob - I think you're my DH! Probably not, but I think you would have loads in common to talk about down the pub.

Maybe I should be trying to improve myself more, but TBH just keeping everything together is exhausting enough without constantly thinking about every single thing that I could do better.

OP posts:

PickAChew · 03/08/2017 23:04

In the past week, I've

Bashed my hand off a pole walking down a bus, resulting in a loud crack that left my hand tingling for half an hour. Thankfully, I think I just subluxed a joint and irritated a nerve in the process.

Tripped over my on feet, several times.

Banged my head cleaning the bathroom.

Demolished a wall mounted shelf with my elbow, vacuuming (still smarts, 5 days on, that one!)

Cut my thumb on a carving knife - only realised when I noticed that I was bleeding into my dinner.

I noticed tonight that I have a weird bruise on the back of my hand, No idea how I managed that one. It's right over a vein.

Despite this extreme level of clumsiness, I haven't broken a glass in almost 30 years. Dyspraxia is a funny thing. I wash a glass like I'm performing delicate surgery. (though I've got away with bashing a mug off the tap more times than luck should allow)

I do a lot of jumping from task to task. The kettle has often gone cold again before I remember I went into the kitchen to make a cup of tea.

anchor9 · 03/08/2017 23:09

mmm yes I'm like this. i have very poor spacial awareness. but I am very very careful as a result e.g when parking. i've only ever had one scrape and that was when parking whilst having a literal mental health crisis that very morning

so yeah, maybe not that helpful? as I actually am very careful. I'm gentle with things (i don't like a lot of loud noises e.g plates scraping so this actually helps itself out) and i tend to so things quite slowly as if i don't everything goes to shit. the other day i was merrily chopping tomatoes with 2/3 of the chopping board over the edge of the counter?! did not even notice and obviously lost the tomatoes all over the floor! classic my kind of cock up

there is definitely something odd about me. I'm fairly sure I have a 'mild' asd of some form. I'm very, very unobservant about many things but utterly fixated on other things. very sensitive to textures. highly flammable emotionally but quite stupidly unempathetic at the same time. but I'm sure i'll never know.

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