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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask about Don't tell the Bride

59 replies

Herculesfan · 02/08/2017 22:12

Does anyone know anyone that's been on Don't tell the Bride?

I'm just watching the latest episode and am really curious about the rate of divorce after the show. So many of the lads seem such knobs

OP posts:

MargaretTwatyer · 02/08/2017 23:34

Know someone who worked on it when it was still BBC. You have to sort of play it up to get on there. The audition process looks for people who know that's the sort of thing they're looking for and play up to it.

They were also aware that after a couple of seasons most couples will have seen the format and to some extent agreed what the wedding will be like. So they'll both agree to a sci fi wedding beforehand, but the bride will play up to pretending she wants a country house traditional wedding (even though she really hates the idea).

Oh, and quite a few let slip that the bride's real hen night happened before filming somewhere nice. So they could do the whole cliche 'lad goes on stag do in Prague and sends hens down the local chip shop with a bottle of Lambrini schtick' without the bride really missing out.

It's telly basically.

PurpleDaisies · 02/08/2017 23:38

We'd never get on because dh would have just done a traditional wedding, pretty much what we had.

It does feel really fake now compared to the early series.

TinselTwins · 02/08/2017 23:38

No but I do know someone who won come dine with me. They were really OTT but they are in real life anyway

My wedding venue was on four in a bed with its new manager, he came across as awful, which he is, the staff appear miserable and the place has gone downhill under his management.

FOF was on married at first sight, again accurate apparently (he came across as nice)

Both pretty accurate, although I'm sure if people aren't as naturally OTT as those two the producers tweek things

Hudson10 · 02/08/2017 23:40

I'm just watching the latest episode and am really curious about the rate of divorce after the show. So many of the lads seem such knobs

Anyone who can pimp their wedding day out to a TV channel are hardly likely to be in it for the long haul, are they so doesn't surprise me.

pigletpie29 · 02/08/2017 23:45

Ooh yes I do - think it was the first gay wedding. They're still together as far as I know.

TinselTwins · 02/08/2017 23:48

Anyone who can pimp their wedding day out to a TV channel are hardly likely to be in it for the long haul, are they so doesn't surprise me.

Why do you say that?

I'ld say that people who get married for the wrong reasons (i.e. to have their dream wedding) would avoid the show like the plague, but people who arn't that bothered about the actual wedding and just want to be married might see it as a good way to please the parents with a "do" without wasting loadsa cash on just one day

I've never been fussed about weddings but had one because some family members threw a fit when we mentioned eloping. If I wasn't totally camera shy/stage-frightey I'ld have gone for it!

Nellysmagichat · 02/08/2017 23:48

You'd have to be pretty naive to go on that show and expect the producers to NOT create conflict somewhere.

Absolutely. A friend of mine went through the early screening stages but decided not to go any further as the producers went through both of their family backgrounds with a fine-tooth comb looking for anything they could use to stir up controversy. She got really uncomfortable when they started probing how amicable (or otherwise) her own parents' divorce was (presumably as a source of potential drama), and the contract they were shown detailing exactly what they'd have to pay back if particular things were not adhered to was pretty sobering (and made clear that they essentially had very little control over things), so they opted not to go any further.

maudeismyfavouritepony · 02/08/2017 23:48

The Irish ones are more genteel and undramatic.

The British ones, all very OTT.

I do love the drama of the Bride and family complaining about various aspects as I'm inwardly thinking. 'you want it PAY FOR IT YOURSELF'.

Just when you are convinced the Bride will (quite rightly in many cases), flip her lid, she will say 'He's done an amazing job, he knows me better than I know myself' whilst being serenaded by a dwarf in a Willy Wonka costume.

For me, they just demonstrate that many men just don't grow up and these women will prefer to be humiliated on national TV rather than gasp remain ummarried.

BertieBotts · 02/08/2017 23:59

Yeah, I knew someone who was thinking about applying for it and they were defo more like Tinsel is saying. They liked the idea of it being paid for and thought it might be a laugh. I don't know if they did apply or not in the end, but they didn't go on the programme. They haven't been married very long but I think they're a pretty solid couple and will probably last.

Theycalledmethewildrose · 03/08/2017 00:01

I wonder how much of it is just totally false?

I've watched a few and the bride will to to two locations X and Y and declare that 'X location is my dream location, whatever future Ex H does, it can't involve football'. Next scene future Ex H is dressed up in a huge football costume and running around a football pitch, shouting 'Bride would love this'.

Theycalledmethewildrose · 03/08/2017 00:03

And Margaret above already answered my question.

HarryBiscuit · 03/08/2017 00:03

"Just when you are convinced the Bride will (quite rightly in many cases), flip her lid, she will say 'He's done an amazing job, he knows me better than I know myself' whilst being serenaded by a dwarf in a Willy Wonka costume. "*

For me, they just demonstrate that many men just don't grow up and these women will prefer to be humiliated on national TV rather than gasp remain ummarried.*

So true maude.

angelgirls · 03/08/2017 00:05

Yep know a couple who got married about 6 years ago and still together

She said that the show is really edited and made the groom come across a bit of a twat when in fact he really isn't!

Also they don't really get that much choice in things they are told which stop to use etc

halfbuffy · 03/08/2017 00:06

One of my friends was on it a couple of years ago, they're still happily married and have a little boy now as well!

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops · 03/08/2017 00:29

@Catra was it Pippa who famously didn't like her dress? She came across really badly and a bit smug! Although I was with her on hating the vegas reception.

I always thought the girl who got married on the pitch at Stoke was very chilled and an utter saint. Oh there's so many
I'd love an update on. Especially the bride with the monster mum who took her dress shopping in Paris and whined through out, the poison cow. She was a tv producers dream though

GrimDamnFanjo · 03/08/2017 00:32

I confess to watching the reruns a while back and looking up the couples to see if they were still together quite a few weren't, but as so much is staged its impossible to say whether that's because they weren't suited based on a short tv programme.

MommaGee · 03/08/2017 00:42

Anyone remember the festival one? Wickerman Festival and he'd arranged for them to go on stage? She had a total hissy fit. He did so good - really thought he'd be happier long term if she HAD refused to marry him

Guepe · 03/08/2017 00:47

For me, they just demonstrate that many men just don't grow up and these women will prefer to be humiliated on national TV rather than gasp remain ummarried.
But, as seen, the groom's are often made to fail by the producers. I don't think the show accurately represents how 'grown up' they are.

MommaGee · 03/08/2017 00:53

It does annoy me when they're doing the initial chat and its like
Her: well I sort everything in the house. He can't be trusted with money. Or the kids. Or the shopping. I wear the trousers. Im the boss. He has to do as I tell him. I don't want to hear his opinions.

Him: I fiat want finally show her that I can be responsible and I'm good enough because I've always just left everything to her and sometimes I even call her mum by accident.

Ok I paraphrased. But DH and I are equals. I don't parent him. I checked he was a responsible adult before we procreated

junebirthdaygirl · 03/08/2017 07:34

Know a dm of one bride in lreland. They were literally told word for word what to say and do. The whole thing is a complete set up up and if you accept that going into it you are fine.

SheSaidHeSaid · 03/08/2017 07:50

My close friends were on it a few years ago. They're still together, very happy and with kids now.

The programme is (as you'd expect) staged. The groom is only given a handful of choices, from the wedding dress to the hen do and it's all orchestrated to make sure it's not what the bride wants... because that makes good tv.

The wedding itself was good fun but definitely wasn't like and didn't feel like a normal wedding.

OutwardBound2016 · 03/08/2017 07:57

One of the brides was a sibling of a friend, particular episode was not too crazy (one of the early episodes). Still married as far as I know!

cowbag1 · 03/08/2017 08:02

I think suprise suprise the vegas couple split up (DH went to school with the bride).

stupidlybroody · 03/08/2017 08:04

Yesssss the one with the whiny mum and dress shopping in Paris is my favourite, but I find it so hard to find anywhere to watch back! I remember the groom being quite a shy farmer who put on a really sweet wedding in barn. I also remember the mum at the end praising the dress he picked as it was ''clear he'd been thinking about her as well as the bride'' she was fabulously batty!

PoppyPopcorn · 03/08/2017 08:40

My daughter loves this show - watched it with her last week. It wasn't even a proper wedding! The groom took the bride off to Spain, and got his mate to read some twee words to her sitting on a banana boat. There was no official, no priest, nothing even VAGUELY legal about it.

Totally ridiculous. Do remember one where the groom went to an Oxfam bridal shop for a dress which was gorgeous and the woman was very sniffy about it.

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