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AIBU?

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Original poster

Annoyed that my DS caught a cold from his cousin

57 replies

Chewiecat · 01/08/2017 21:00

My DS is sick .. mainly because we met his cousin last weekend and she was sick. DS is 5 months old..

I am just a bit annoyed because SIL & MIL didn't tell me before that DNiece was sick. Also they kept trying to touch and hug DS without washing their hands right after touching DNiece. The worst was when they came really close to DS and she sneezed on him. Then my mil says it's good for him to build up his immunity Hmm

I haven't said anything to them because what can you say? It would have been good for them to give me a heads up that DNiece was sick so I can choose not to go meet them.

I know I can't wrap him in cotton wool forever but I'm just a bit annoyed. I respect other people's children enough to not bring him to meet other people when he is sick.

He's just been screaming and crying his head off with a fever and snotty nose.. I feel so bad for the poor baby Sad

Sigh, just wanted to rant, that is all

OP posts:
MyLittlePickleBoo · 01/08/2017 21:34

Argh, autocorrect drives me nuts! Sorry for the type-os!

DoubleCarrick · 01/08/2017 21:38

My six month old ds has a cold at the moment and it's bloody annoying so I get where you're coming from op.

I like to know if someone is sick so I have the choice over whether to willingly expose us to bugs or not. Normally I don't mind but life is stressful at the moment and we're just getting away from additional night wakings. I'm tired, pregnant and now also feel rubbish too. Poor Ds is waking up screaming at all hours and is constantly whining.

I'm not in any way precious over my Ds but when I need some quiet time I choose to avoid bugs.

sobeyondthehills · 01/08/2017 21:39

A cold I wouldn't worry about, D&V is the thing, I think I would probably ask if they would do something like this with that or Chicken Pox, "to build up immunity"

gluteustothemaximus · 01/08/2017 21:51

First, second or third child, I still actively avoid bugs.

It's awful when they're little. They can barely breath, and the night wakings (as if they aren't bad enough normally with the usual teething etc) - just makes everyone in the house exhausted for school and work.

Some bugs you can't avoid. But family should always give you heads up.

It's bloody inconsiderate otherwise.

Hope your DS feels better soon OP Flowers

Original poster
Chewiecat · 01/08/2017 21:53

Ah sorry I'm not from the uk , always forget that sick means something else Blush

Yes , I suppose it's just a minor cold and he will get better but why put him through it if we could have avoided it?? It's only his second cold ever (first cold was caught from DH so that was unavoidable)

We go out all the time to baby classes etc so it's not like we stay in to avoid germs. Just never had another child sneeze at him before!

Maybe once he's in nursery and he gets a cold every other week, I would look back at this fondly and laugh Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
Chewiecat · 01/08/2017 21:57

Doublecarrick hope your little one gets better soon Flowers must be a double whammy with the pregnancy as well

mine is waking up every couple of hours and screaming his head off, I feel tired enough as it is already Sad

OP posts:
gandalf456 · 01/08/2017 21:59

I used to hate this, too, but more so with my first because she didn't sleep and a cold made this even more impossible. Imagine both mum & baby barely slept and a day of grumpiness. Argh!

I used to hate it doubly so when people talked about bugs helping their immune system and I felt like saying you look after her for the week, then.

Hygge · 01/08/2017 21:59

I don't think you are BU as such OP.

It's a cold and could have been worse, but knowing in advance would have let you decide what to do.

It's not easy when your baby is ill, especially a young baby who may be more grizzly than usual, who might be crying more, and sleeping less.

It's no fun to see them ill but even 'just a cold' can make them miserable and if they're not sleeping, neither are you. And when you're tired anyway and probably still having broken nights even when your baby is well, that can be really hard.

Hope your DS is better soon.

Anewcareerforme · 01/08/2017 22:05

Children who are exposed to viruses in the 1st year have a lower incidence of asthma.

Anewcareerforme · 01/08/2017 22:05

Sorry should have read in the 1st year if life.

Longdistance · 01/08/2017 22:06

Don't be so bloody pfb.

You could have taken him out and caught something off a stranger.

I couldn't get my knickers in a twist about this.

Nofunkingworriesmate · 01/08/2017 22:12

You can't avoid colds, they can be caught before someone knows they are ill, from a sneeze meters away, door knobs etc etc etc...
Bit bonkers to expect hand washing between touching kids
Unless you have cancer, hiv etc it is better to build up immunity

HermioneKipper · 01/08/2017 22:15

This would piss me right off. They should've at least warned you so you could decide whether to risk it or not.

I would avoid it with my baby if I definitely knew the person was unwell - why would you want a 5 month old catching a cold if they didn't have to? It's miserable for everyone involved.

You can't avoid these things when out and about or at baby classes etc but specifically meeting up with people who have streaming colds is madness!

Anewcareerforme · 01/08/2017 22:24

"why would you want a 5 month old catching a cold if they didn't have to?"

I understand why people think this but as I said above very good research showed that its is far from harmful in fact positively beneficial.

frieda909 · 01/08/2017 22:25

I do think it would have been polite to warn you, but it's not worth falling out with anyone over.

I have a friend who gets unbelievably precious about other people having colds, and it's bloody annoying. She has been known to tell people that they can't come to social events (things that she isn't even organising herself) if they have even the merest hint of a cold, which I just find rude.

HumphreyCobblers · 01/08/2017 22:26

I wouldn't deliberately pass on a cold either. When babies get colds they keep you up all bloody night, so it is not just a cold, it is crap sleep for the parents. I wouldn't thank anyone for not letting me know.

I am on child number three as well. So not PFB in the slightest.

RiverTam · 01/08/2017 22:28

It may not be harmful but it can be a hideous few days for baby and parent, frightening indeed when you watch them struggle to breathe.

And honestly, piss off with the 'is this your first' patronising bullshit.

faithinthesound · 01/08/2017 22:28

Yes, catching a cold is a fact of life, unfortunately, but this particular illness he's experiencing right now wasn't inevitable. It was entirely avoidable.

I came here to say this. It's common courtesy if you're sick/your child is sick not to go about Typhoid Marying the general populace. Incredibly cruel to do it to a baby who has no choice about moving away if he doesn't want to be sneezed on!

FeralBeryl · 01/08/2017 22:33

Ah it's miserable for them isn't it Sad
Have you got yourself a snot sucker? A-mazing device! Also snuffle babe or Vicks for his chest. If he gets really congested overnight- close the bathroom door and window, shower on hot for 5 mins, then sit in there with him just on the closed loo for 10 mins, it will loosen all the mucus an enable him to breathe more freely.

HermioneKipper · 01/08/2017 22:36

@anewcarforme as someone has said upthread, a 5 month old likely doesn't sleep well already so it's all an exhausted mother needs on top of everything else. I'm guessing you're the sort who turns up to visit a newborn with a cold as well

BlurryFace · 01/08/2017 22:36

faithin "Typhoid Marying the general population"? It's a fucking cold, don't be so bloody wet!Grin

poweredbybread · 01/08/2017 22:38

Yeah that is horrible when you are hoping they have got into some sort of routine and they all ill and sniffly can't feed and just cry. Try all of Feralberyls suggestions. It will help with getting immunity but you don't have to be happy about it. It sucks.

elevenclips · 01/08/2017 22:46

You people who think this is ok are why germs are always spreading. If you catch something randomly from an unknown source (e.g. In supermarket or whatever) then that's bad luck. But if you catch something off a visitor with a cold, well that is not bad luck, that was bad judgement and a completely different situation.

I have a cough right now. Caught from a primary school child who attended a group thing with us. She didn't want to miss it. Sod me and my ill DD who is in bed coughing right now unable to sleep Hmm

How rude to suggest the OP is PFB. People IRL do get really pissed off with others spreading colds when it's easily avoidable btw.

lozzylizzy · 01/08/2017 22:49

My third had a hole in her heart, a cold which ended up in hospital admission, chicken pox and a broken arm before your babies age.......it was horrid but she is pretty robust at 3! YABU

lozzylizzy · 01/08/2017 22:51

Sorry that sounded horrid but it can't be helped with colds etc!

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