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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To censor my child's reading??

48 replies

FuckingHateRats · 01/08/2017 12:26

My son has come back from a trip with his grandparents...he's reading 'Hell Fire' Confused he's 10.

I want to take it off him, my husband says we should let him read what he wants.

My issue is the language. Tbf he probably hears it all from us, and he never uses bad language at school/in company. But I think he should be reading slightly more appropriate choices.

Do you censor reading material?

OP posts:
Pengggwn · 01/08/2017 12:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheSolitaryBoojum · 01/08/2017 12:36

If you 'd censor tv, dvds, what he accesses on the internet...I see no difference with you making decisions about what he can read at what age. Yes, I did check what my children wee reading, along with everything else and I censored according to the child.

cariadlet · 01/08/2017 12:37

I did once.

My daughter bought a book called "Fangirl" for herself. I looked through and it seemed ok for a teenager, but too sexually explicit for her age (I think she was probably about 11 at the time).
I put it on a high book shelf that I knew she was too lazy to retrieve it from, told her she could have it when she was older and then she forgot all about it.

I just searched for Hellfire on Amazon as I hadn't heard of it, but there were quite a few books with that title so I'm not sure which one your son has - but they all looked as if they were aimed at adults.

If he likes action and adventure then I'd steer him towards something like Alex Rider (Anthony Horowitz) or young James Bond (Charlie Higson) - definitely not for little kids, but more appropriate for a 10 year old than some of the stuff that's out there.

TheSolitaryBoojum · 01/08/2017 12:37

I usually read or watched it before deciding though, have you read the book?

Armadillostoes · 01/08/2017 12:41

If the issue is just swearing, YABVU to censor for that alone at 10, he is old enough to understand what is appropriate in different contexts.

If you have concerns about violence, sexual content or inappropriate messages then depending on your DC you might need to remove the book. But in most cases I would suggest that talking it through would be a better approach.

x2boys · 01/08/2017 12:42

I would be delighted if my ten yr old developed a love of reading unfortunately he hates it but I used to read anything and everything at ten I,m sure a lot was highly unsuitable but I was never censored .

LiveLifeWithPassion · 01/08/2017 12:56

Ds has been desperate to read Stephen King since 11 but I've said no. I found some more age appropriate horror that he's been happy with.

mrscropley · 01/08/2017 12:58

Reading bad language in a book will just make it a normal thing though. . No attraction to wanting to use it then surely?

missyB1 · 01/08/2017 13:01

I keep an eye on what my 8 year old is reading (he's an avid reader), same as I keep an eye on what tv he's watching and what he's doing in the computer.

LorLorr2 · 01/08/2017 13:02

I don't see much difference between that and censoring films & tv. If it's inappropriate for his age and you don't like him reading it then do what you have to do and replace with something more suitable from the same genre:)

Original poster
FuckingHateRats · 01/08/2017 13:07

He is an avid reader and has already worked his way through Alex Rider/young James Bond/the entire Cherub series (which I also raised my eyebrows at but he got it from the young adult section at the library).

His issue is that he's been allowed to start it, so may as well finish it 😂 He says the language won't get any worse and he's enjoying it.

We do censor TV and film but also let him watch some stuff which is 12/15, depending on the content.

OP posts:
Tastesjustlikecherrycola85 · 01/08/2017 13:10

I remember reading forever by Judy Blume aged around 11, that was certainly an eye opener! Grin

frid · 01/08/2017 13:18

Let him finish it, now, but censor in the future?

Look at The Enemy (Charlie Higson) and Gone (Michael Grant) and see if you think those are OK.

Less mature series are
Percy Jackson books
The Joshua Files (these are great because they're thrillers for kids)

gabsdot · 01/08/2017 13:18

I remember getting a book out of the school library when I was about 6 and one of the characters said "blooming XXXXXX" , using blooming as a mild swear word.

My mum was disgusted and wrote an embarrassing note in to the teacher.
BTW YANBU to censor your child's reading.

Enb76 · 01/08/2017 13:19

My 8 year old picked up and read (and loved) Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children - it wouldn't have been something I would have encouraged her to read but now she has it's made me realise that censorship is a bit pointless once you have a child who will read anything and everything they can get their hands on.

Original poster
FuckingHateRats · 01/08/2017 13:21

Thanks, will look up the Joshua Files. He's read all the Percy Jackson books, I think there are three series of five? And also the Egyptian series by the same writer.

He is such a fast reader and will read religiously for 1-2h a night - I physically can't read everything beforehand as I don't have as much free time as he does!

OP posts:
Original poster
FuckingHateRats · 01/08/2017 13:22

The other issue (perhaps my fault) is that after Cherub etc, a lot of the kids books seem too young and he wants the older stuff.

OP posts:
frid · 01/08/2017 13:24

10/11/12 is definitely the age that they move onto the zombie stuff, so you might have to be quite pragmatic about any censorship

Twistmeandturnme · 01/08/2017 13:28

There are several 'Hell Fire' s on amazon: of the first two, I wouldn't let a 10 YO read the one about the soldiers because it isn't just swearing, it is real violence. The second one that comes up on my list is about investigating a murder in a caravan: mother and child and bloody footprint on the floor....I'm just going to hope that if it was that one you wouldn't even be asking.

My eldest read Anthony Horowitz young adult horror books under the covers when they were 10-11. By 12/13 they were reading Dean Koontz and Stephen King under the covers and having nightmares. By 14 they were avoiding sleep and under CAHMS for depression,: it's taken until 17 to get them over the repercussions of those horrors when they were too young to process them. My advice would be to censor censor censor, but do it in a way that they don't hide what they are doing from you.

mikeyssister · 01/08/2017 13:29

I censor books, dvds, tv shows, films, games and where they're going and when.

I've been know to walk in when the Simpsons are on and switch it off, yet I know people who let there toddlers watch it.

Twistmeandturnme · 01/08/2017 13:31

It isn't about how good/fast a reader a child is, it's to do with emotional understanding and resilience. A 10 year old does not have the resilience to put something down and forget about it if it's too much for them, and then the damage is done.

Caenea · 01/08/2017 13:31

Ah just let him read it.

Hell Fire is a bit sweary but as he seems to know what is and is not appropriate I'm sure he can deal with such things. I don't agree with censoring children's reading unless they're eight and reading the Kama Sutra or Game of Thrones or something.

Let them read the books. If the issues raised are problematic, discuss them afterwards. At this age, starting a game of "Oh no you can't read that" without attempting to explain why is going to end one way: they will read it anyway and do it behind your back and that is not a habit anyone needs in a child.

Helenluvsrob · 01/08/2017 13:34

I did not censor reading. They seemed to give up on books that were too adult or too scary. The main thing was not to do the school thing of" you have to finish it"

BannedFromNarnia · 01/08/2017 13:34

@cariadlet Fangirl is REALLY good, do give it back to her! There is a bit of sexual content but all in an emotionally intelligent way. I'd say it's a reading age of 13+ presuming she's older now, but really I think it'd be fine for 11.

I am not a big fan of censoring reading materials tbh. It's not the same as TV where you have to watch it and it's all there in your face - if you don't understand it it doesn't really impact on you. And as a PP has said, good luck stopping your voracious reader from getting their hands on whatever they want anyway.

I read widely and randomly and without thought to age, and just didn't really understand the bits that weren't appropriate to me so they never really bothered me. I do remember putting down Riders at about 11 and horse mad and thinking "god how boring I thought this was about horses and it's all adults talking" and then picking it up a year later and going "OH YES THAT'S WHAT IT'S ABOUT EXCELLENT. Also horses are still great."

Also, I think that books are really safe space to explore emotions and different genres. You can enjoy scaring yourself with a Stephen King and still be able to put it down and walk away.

(Aside: the only book that's ever mentally scarred me was the entirely age-appropriate Charlotte's Web. I still can't even look at the cover without sobbing.)

frid · 01/08/2017 13:39

Oh, and he might like The Chronicles of Ancient Darkness by Michelle Paver, if he hasn't read it yet. The series got rave reviews when it first came out about 15 years ago

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