To censor my child's reading??

[FuckingHateRats]

My son has come back from a trip with his grandparents...he's reading 'Hell Fire' he's 10.

I want to take it off him, my husband says we should let him read what he wants.

My issue is the language. Tbf he probably hears it all from us, and he never uses bad language at school/in company. But I think he should be reading slightly more appropriate choices.

Do you censor reading material?

This Philip Pullman quote somes up censorship of children's reading to me - and might be a good plan for those with reluctant readers!

@frid Yes, that's an excellent series and dark without being tooo dark.

Thanks Frid, will look them up.

The book is just called Hellfire, by Ed Macy. The blurb says it's about an elite pilot scheme, and one man's flying ability and decisions which changed the face of modern warfare.

I'm going to move it and just hope he picks up something else instead.

What's the problem with the book?

My 10yo ds would love it - I avoid really bad language in a book and inappropriate sexual content. He came home with All quiet on the western front half read. He had passed the brothel scene so I let him finish. He didn't understand that scene or a few of the nuances.

My parents never censored and I used to read a lot of adult literature at the same age - a lot of the content went over my head and in reality I wasn't mature enough to get everything out of the book. But I always went back to them

I generally don't censor books.
The only one I did remove was a Jaqueline Wilson which had the main character going into anorexia/bulimia. I wouldn't have worried too much about dd1 reading it, but dd2 has mental health issues anyway and I could see her thinking "oh I could diet like that" and missing the point of the story. I didn't say anything, it just accidently disappeared from her bed after a couple of chapters (when I'd picked it up and looked at it) and in the course of looking for it me and dd2 found a much more exciting book so she forgot to look further

Thing is though, you don't know exactly what will upset a child. You know your dc and know what sort of things they are capeable of processing, but you don't know exactly.
For example when I was about 6 or 7yo I picked up from the bookshelf a book that to my eyes looked like a ladybird book. It was called "Corrie" and was an abridged version of the autobiography of Corrie ten-Boom. For those who don't know, Corrie was imprisoned in a concentration camp during the war for hiding Jews. Her father died in the camp, and I think her sister died next to her, if I'm remembering back over 30 years correctly.
Two things stayed with me. Firstly the kindness of the person whose door she knocked on when she was released. And secondly after the war she was speaking at a conference about forgiveness and someone came up to her afterwards to speak. She looked up and saw he was one of the SS guards from her concentration camp. For a moment she didn't respond, and then she took his hand.
I then went and asked mum lots of questions about WWII etc and the book disappeared.
I wasn't upset by the book; I remembered Corrie's bravery and the kindness of people even in dreadful situations. However Ginger's Adventures (a genuine Ladybird book) really traumatised me. That poor dog!!

I wouldn't generally agree with censoring reading materials, and definitely not just for language. If DS is 10 I'm sure he has heard lots of swear words, and it sounds like he already knows not to use them.

If it were sex / violence then I accept there are limits to what children can read, but I really wouldn't stop a 10yo reading a book he likes just because of some swearing in it.

The only book I've taken off him so far is Goodnight Mister Tom because it upset me so much when I read it. But we had a chat and I gave it back on the understanding he'd come to me if he needed to talk about anything in it.

I am not a big fan of censoring reading materials tbh. It's not the same as TV where you have to watch it and it's all there in your face - if you don't understand it it doesn't really impact on you. And as a PP has said, good luck stopping your voracious reader from getting their hands on whatever they want anyway.

I think the opposite - things in books stayed with me far more than watching things on TV because you have to think about the words and imagine the scene with books so it is imprinted on your mind more. Also I get more involved in characters and feel their emotion more than TV/films.

@FuckingHateRats OMG it was GMT that I was thinking about! The bit where his mother beats him and locks him in the cupboard with the baby.... that has no place in a childs book!!!!

You censor his reading for swearing?
YABU.

There's things I wouldn't want a child to read, but swearing really isn't a problem.

The book might contain other things that are legitimately problematic, such as misogyny, but even there, I wouldn't censor, just have a word with the grandparents that they aren't to give him such books again.

Censoring just means it looks more interesting to the child.

I sensor reading material. My dd is a very able reader and can access things well beyond her capacity to handle emotionally. I agree that some children are t ready to handle certain topics whether you discuss them or not. It's more about emotional maturity. I also wouldn't allow bad language. We don't use it at home and don't want dd to.

YABU. A voracious reader of 10 is already emotionally intelligent enough to read whatever he wants. Also, his defence of his reading choices to you backs this up.
Your job is to teach him kindness, courtesy etc not police his reading at this age.
You sound like someone who is not much of a reader yourself, so you probably don't get how much good wide-ranging reading is for children. Back off, and trust your DS.

@HipsterHunter Fair point - and I agree, I am far more likely to remember a book than a film. But I suppose my point was more that if you don't understand it, you don't imagine it and so it doesn't really return to you?

I think there's a wider point here too about emotions and emotional reactions. As I said earlier, no book has ever affected me as badly as Charlotte's Web, which I read at a completely age-appropriate time and was totally poleaxed by. No one would ever have taken that off me by any criteria discussed in this thread, but it upset me greatly.

But was that a bad thing? Part of what literature is for is teaching us about ourselves and providing a safe space and a sandbox for learning about emotions. And Charlotte taught me that people die and that it's devastating but yet we go on.

oh god I'm actually crying just thinking about it, maybe no one should ever read it I am a grown woman fgs

My parents didn't censor mine when I could read for myself. I was reading adult booked by the age of 9 by myself. Before that my dad used to read them to me minus the language and rudeness.

To be honest I didn't understand most of the bad language or sexual references anyway so it went totally over my head.

Even when I was about 13 I wa baffled by the use of the word frigid. I understood the gist of what was going on but not the finer points.

I don't know wether they should have or not. I honestly don't think it did me any real harm but I wasn't reading anything too awful just things aimed at older teenagers or adults but not ..I don't know anything about rape or really detailed sexual exploits. Or violence really.

I guess after my waffling I would say it depends on the book. And the child.

I am a huge reader myself...and I am an English teacher! I know that school censor books at the time due to inappropriate language so it's not at big leap to question whether I should be doing so at home.

I'm a massive advocate for children reading around difficult subjects, and also for not letting the odd swear word deem it unsuitable for young people. My concern here was that this is very clearly a book which is not for children, with very adult language. I wouldn't give it to a secondary pupil for this reason, and so think it's quite natural to question harder when I'm talking about a 10yr old.

Being a voracious reader does not make you more or less emotional intelligent at 10. Depends on child.When l was that age l got my hands on a stack of books my friends dad had and read right through it. We had very few books in those days so l would have read anything. My dm nearly had a stroke when she discovered what l was reading. Didnt scar me for life or anything . But l would keep an eye. I often think those horrible magazines with their sob stories of my boyfriend ran away with my mother etc are far far worse and young girls especially can get their hands on them so easily.

The only one I did remove was a Jaqueline Wilson which had the main character going into anorexia/bulimia. I wouldn't have worried too much about dd1 reading it, but dd2 has mental health issues anyway and I could see her thinking "oh I could diet like that"

Was that 'girls under pressure?' Ive just re read it as an adult and see it totally differently, we I was a young teen i found it did encourage me to diet the way the main character does.

Having said that, I dont think I would censor my Child's reading too much, but I would read the same book myself and talk to my DD about the themes in the book

There were books all over our house when I was growing up. My parents never censored my reading. Looking back, they really should have. Although I read a lot of great, age appropriate stuff, I also read things that I was really not mature enough to process properly.

I doubt you'll like Michael Grant's Gone series then - lots of swearing and teen sex: my (then yr 6) DD read the whole series and only after she'd finished them, did she mention that I might not have considered them "appropriate".

My kids are voracious readers too and I've struggled to censor their reading. I've drawn the line a few times: Stephen King, Girl with the Dragon Tattoo - I don't consider those appropriate for 14 year olds. I might relent on the Stephen Kings in another 6 months or so, if she asks again.

OP's son is at a tricky age when he's consuming books at such a fast pace. I was advised to steer my kids towards classics, more challenging reading and less bad language - would he go that way, OP?

Skulldugery Peasant and Have are good thrillers he may like. And yes, yes to Charlotte's Web being traumatic

He was very into war- themed books and read a whole whack of them in one go - 'Carrie's War', 'The Silver Sword', 'The Machine Gunners' etc. A lot of titles we consider classics for kids were devoured. As a Lit teacher I've also given him titles like 'Skin' which is a collection of Roald Dahl's short stories for adults. He also loved the old adventure books too - he read all the Swallows and Amazons (patience of adventure fucking saint, that boy), all the Secret Seven and Famous Five...it's quite an eclectic mix he reads!

He has Skullduggery Pleasant in his 'to be read' pile but hasn't picked it up... he's got some age-appropriate Anthony Horowitz book in his hand at the moment so I'm taking this as a win.

I do very rarely censor books. Generally if it's for kids or teens he can have it, whether I've read it or not. It's harder when it's adult material though - I was reading adult books at that age adult and nothing was censored, and I don't recall anything being unsuitable - other than Ian McEwan's 'Atonement'!!! But then my mum did not read violent books. He's picking stuff up in shops and in the library that I have no idea about.

I guess as problems go, this is not a bad one to have.

My seven, almost 8 year old has been glued to the Goosebumps book "Night of the Living Dummy". Has anybody read these or can share their views on this series of books? I have looked at it and it has some really scary bits but it is well written and my child has just started to read without being coached into doing so.

It really won't hurt him. I was reading HP Lovecraft at 9, and sneakily getting into the Pan Books of Horror at about 10. I also remember a book called Islands in Danger about the Nazi occupation of the Channel Islands, which had some pretty grim stuff in it. And from about 12 or so, raiding my parents' book collections when they went out (Colin Wilson and the Dice Man, which I didn't think much of and still don't.)