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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU expecting people to move?

55 replies

DobbyLovesSocks · 31/07/2017 21:44

Evening all. Quite expecting to be told I'm being U but here goes:
To celebrate 200 years sine Jane Austen died there have 24 'book benches' built and placed in various places that she lived and socialised in Hampshire (Basingstoke, Alton, Steventon etc). As its summer hols and they are only in place to end of August, myself and DS are making it our mission to see them all. There is an app you can download and 'log' each bench you find with rewards for certain ones you find and once you find a certain number.
Today we found one of the benches and wanted to take a photo; trouble is someone was already sat on it. Fair enough it is a bench. I asked the people sat on it if they would mind if I took a photo of DS on it (planning on doing album of all 24 benches). They said no problem and moved up to let DS sit down. I expected them to actually get up and off bench for a minute while I took the photo.

So AIBU to expect people to move for a moment?

OP posts:
Joinourclub · 31/07/2017 22:10

I think that your photo album will be vastly improved with the inclusion of the occasional random, oblivious person sat next to your son.

ImNotWhoYouThinkIAmOhNo · 31/07/2017 22:10

Sounds like a fun summer project. How old is your DS, by the way? And has he read all her works too?

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 31/07/2017 22:11

YABU. Why not just wait for them to move? Nobody stays on a bench too long.

Original poster
DobbyLovesSocks · 31/07/2017 22:14

Thanks for your comments. I am indeed BU
My DS is 6 but loves reading like his mum so trying to encourage it in any way I can - these benches seemed a fun 'treasure' type trail to do over the summer.

OP posts:
TheUpsideDown · 31/07/2017 22:17

YAB a tad U

Sounds like you are a polite 'hinter' then gets narked when the subject of your hinting doesn't pick up on it.

Be direct, say what you mean. They aren't telepathic.

QuiteUnfitBit · 31/07/2017 22:17

Where are these benches? Is there a website? I'd like to visit them too... misses the point

Synecdoche · 31/07/2017 22:18

It may be worth bearing in mind that some people are less able to stand/reposition - so they might have been doing their best for you at that moment in time!

I'm now off to Google these delightful sounding benches...

Original poster
DobbyLovesSocks · 31/07/2017 22:20

Google 'sitting with Jane'

OP posts:
Ollycat · 31/07/2017 22:23

fc301 most of AIBU is 1st world problems- why are you so arsey?!?

OP I agree with you they were U - it must have been obvious what you were doing! Are there any in Winchester (guessing there are) if so will have to hunt them out when visiting my dad.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 31/07/2017 22:23

Wow they are very pretty!

Slimthistime · 31/07/2017 22:24

When we had the London book benches there were four on my walk from station to work. People were constantly getting on and off for photos and sometimes just obliged so people could get a full pic, or even several pics of detail.

I'm surprised that they didn't get up but maybe they thought it was your DC not the bench as the subject?

fc301 · 31/07/2017 22:24

It was meant to be light hearted... clearly I failed

SaturnUranus · 31/07/2017 22:25

I've just googled.

I never thought I'd be admiring benches but, if I lived anywhere near, I'd be looking out for them too.

So YA still BU but I can sort of see why. :o

user1486076969 · 31/07/2017 22:25

Actually, in the context of the whole thing I think YANBU......but I do think those sitting on the bench need to know/understand the significance.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 31/07/2017 22:29

fc301 Were you basing it off that hilarious friends quote?

Original poster
DobbyLovesSocks · 31/07/2017 22:30

Ollycat - yes Winchester cathedral

OP posts:
Original poster
DobbyLovesSocks · 31/07/2017 22:32

We're doing all the Basingstoke ones this week and doing the further out ones (Alton, Steventon etc) as day trips

OP posts:
GardenGeek · 31/07/2017 22:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BlurryFace · 31/07/2017 22:38

Eh? They moved up, you got the photo, what's the problem? Sort of nice really, to get slightly different photos - in this one there are some other people who were chilling out when you got there.

BasedOnTrueEvents · 31/07/2017 22:41

YABA bit U. People aren't mind readers. You asked them if they minded you taking a photo and they said no. If what you actually wanted was for them to move off the bench for 10 seconds or however long in takes to snap a photo, why didn't you say so?

IHateUncleJamie · 31/07/2017 22:43

Aren't they pretty! 💕

Being disabled, it takes me about a year some time to get up once I'm sitting, so I would have moved up to let your ds sit down, but no, I wouldn't have got up, I'm afraid. As you didn't specifically ask people to get up, YAB a bit U. But nice idea though. ☺️

ChasingHighs · 31/07/2017 22:47

I think it should be your mission to get as many random bench sitting people in your photos as you can Grin

GoodEnough1 · 31/07/2017 22:53

Blimey some very judge comments on here but for what it's worth I don't think you are being U, I would have got the hint and moved for your photo. Obviously you were too polite to spell it out like most people would be.

Birdsgottaf1y · 31/07/2017 23:02

Him turned around taken from the back of the bench would have been a good alternative.

If you want people to stand, you need to ask,but be aware that it might be a much needed sit down and they would struggle to move , on demand.

fc301, that was pathetic, these things are good, free things to do with your children, because you don't have £50. We've had similar things, without the literary significance, such as a trail of Superlambananas and penguins to follow.

At least the OP wasn't wanting people to move whilst she found Pokemon.

BannedFromNarnia · 31/07/2017 23:11

It's a bench. Benches are for sitting on. I think it would be pretty rude to ask people to stand up, and they were polite enough to shuffle up so you could take a picture.

Now I probably would have known what you wanted to do and stand up for you, but you're still BU to expect it and would have been even ruder to actually ask.