To feel irritated when families have multiple children they cannot afford

[Teddy7878]

First of all I accept that no contraception is 100% foolproof and pregnancy sometimes can occur even when people are trying their hardest to be careful.

I also accept that sometimes people's circumstances change and they could go from being financially comfortable to losing their jobs etc during their children's lives.

What really winds me up though are people who actively try and get pregnant when they already have several children and cannot afford the ones they already have. I sometimes see threads on here where people state they have less than £50 to feed a family of 7 for a week and no money at all for any luxuries whatsoever.

My DP and I will be in our mid 30s when we have our first child and we have decided it might be our only child. We want to be able to afford to give it a great life so have saved up hard for a few years beforehand. Between us we earn 65k so we live comfortably and don't have debts (other than the mortgage). It upsets me that we have to make the decision to only have one (possibly two) children and other people are having 5+ kids when they can't afford them.

Money isn't everything, a loving family home is always going to be the most important thing, but if you can only afford to eat lentils and never take your kids out anywhere fun or go on holiday or afford a car or pay for them to do activities outside of school or buy them a few nice things for Xmas then why keep continuing to have more and more children and making your situation even more stressful for everyone involved?! Why not just stick to one or two children?

This is ridiculous and can't be argued.
We all have different ideas of how we want to raise our children.
So what if MOS only wants one child so she can afford private tuition and other opportunities for her dc.

So what if others have a brood and use state schools, aren't able to move to good catchments, live on a low income, and provide free activities and hobbies for their dc.

We are poor, had 3dc, who we prioritised above a second wage, and let the taxpayer pay the school fees.
We are all different.

Exactly my point gilly

We are poor, had 3dc, who we prioritised above a second wage, and let the taxpayer pay the school fees.
Totally agree with this, the issue comes when it becomes a case of 'let the taxpayers pay for us to only have one wage and our more than we can afford ourselves children'.

Many working families wish they could send their children to school paying fees but can't afford it. They maybe could if their taxes didn't go to those who don't work, or work few hours but go on to have more children.

swing

It's the system though. You do what you can within this.
We have had tc for over 20 years as we were told to complete forms.
I would have worked for nothing and at points over this time would have paid to work.
My time was better spent with our dc.
I don't expect taxpayers to pay for us, it just worked out like this.

Our fees would be paid by gov irrespective of whether I work or not, the small amount we have to pay is covered by tax credits.
I work pt because I wanted to pay for some of the fees myself and although it's not a huge amount I do now contribute.

This ^ And it is NOT 'utter bollocks' as someone said. It does actually happen!!!
No one has said it never happens.
But the FACT is that there are not a 'phenomenal' amount of entitled parents with large families who have never worked a day in their lives.
Unless you think all the research and statistics are wrong?

People are never content with a few examples because they don't feel it will justify their sneering contempt so they invent influxes, waves and phenomenal amounts of scrounging bastards swigging on tax funded beer whilst neglecting their tax funded feral children.

I do work in community and pretty much always have. So that is nearly 30 years of working with families.

I do not recognise the descriptions of swathes of feckless no-goods demanding their rights.

I have met some clueless and lazy feckers in my time but they are the minority.
I have seen people who have made very poor choices but it doesn't take long to work out why they have made those choices.
I have close personal experience of the sort of family that would make the Daily Mail faint with excitement. I somehow manage not think every family who look like them behave and think like them.
I take each case as I find rather than prejudging based on prejudice.

If I didn't do that I shouldn't be working with families.

Nancy91

Did you come here straight from watching Channel 5? Or is The Sun more your style?

None of what you said is even remotely true. The DWP themselves couldn't find any families where there were multiple generations who had been on benefits. It certainly wasn't as prevalent as you're suggesting!

hiphopcat

Another case of the didn't happens I see! Look, we get it, you hate people on benefits. There's no need to blatantly make things up when there's absolutely no evidence to support your assertions.

There are 4 families where I live who dont work and 3 sets have 4 kids one 6 .I think the dad with the family of 6 works 16 hours a week. Tbh I think they take everything out of the system and put nothing in.

However,I agree with the FirstMrsDV.......some people do make poor choices and I know that a couple of the parents have had pretty shite upbringings...in care etc.....it is not black and white.

I know someone who waited and waited until she was in a 'good position' to have a baby. She then found that she had a condition that would make it hard to conceive, and was an age by then that she couldn't get IVF. She was utterly devastated and still is. Sometimes life passes you by while you're waiting for everything to be exactly in place and perfect.

DH and I weren't in the best position when we had our first as we seemed to have run after run of really rotten luck, but we figured if we kept putting it off it would never happen.