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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect a 16 and 19yr old to keep their room tidy

29 replies

Paleninteresting · 30/07/2017 23:30

Inspired by another thread I have a quick question to ask.
16 and 19 yr old work three days during the summer.
Is it unrealistic to expect them to have a tidy bedroom?
Nice rooms each.

DH TB says all teenagers have untidy rooms.

OP posts:
Whosthemummynow · 30/07/2017 23:38

I have an untidy room and I'm in my thirties! Grin

Rhubarbtart9 · 30/07/2017 23:40

My eldest is 18. It's taken quite some nagging to get them into good habits. However they tidy first thing in the morning. Only takes a few minutes if daily.

AnyFucker · 30/07/2017 23:41

Ha ha

< crump>

Nanny0gg · 30/07/2017 23:42

They'll be immaculate once it's their own home

RenaissanceBunny · 30/07/2017 23:43

Untidy or dirty ? Untidy - my room is still sometimes untidy. Dirty clothes / plates / rubbish definitely need to be tidied ideally daily but at least Fridays and Sundays. At 16 and 19 I'd hope they are helping out with the housework too. I'm now 25 and whenever I'm back at my parents I see myself as being there to help out - dishes / laundry / cooking etc.

notangelinajolie · 30/07/2017 23:44

Haha Smile no chance. I've tried and failed miserably.

UsedToBeAPaxmanFan · 30/07/2017 23:46

My 19 year olds room is disgusting. He works ft and just about keeps on top of his washing although I habe no idea when his sheets were last changed. He has a floordrobe.

I nag him repeatedly but it makes no difference. He is off to uni in September and will have to live in a room half the size of his bedroom. Once he's gone I will fumigate deep clean his room and hope that when he's back for holidays he will keep it semi-respectable. I suspect he will revert to bad habits though

CremeFresh · 30/07/2017 23:49

I've given up. DD is 19 and her room is a tip, she has a massive tidy every so often but then she goes out and it looks like someone has emptied the contents of Boots cosmetic counters in there.

They say going into a teens room is like a trip to IKEA, you go in for a quick look and leave with 6 glasses, 4 mugs and a dinner service Grin

Original poster
Paleninteresting · 30/07/2017 23:50

Thanks all. Anyfucker please elaborate 😁

Causes a lot of disharmony because they do no other chores so as a minimum I feel they should look after their own shit (literally sometimes)

OP posts:
Timetobookaholiday · 30/07/2017 23:53

Why is your 16 year old having to keep it tidy if your 19 year old isn't?

Though I agree with your Dh, all teens rooms are a mess!

GirlOnATrainToShite · 30/07/2017 23:54

I have given up.

Their room their way. If they want to live like pigs that's up to them I can't be arsed with the battle anymore.

Will redecorate once they leave - as long as it doesn't spread into the rest of the house .

SlothMama · 30/07/2017 23:56

I'm 23 living at home whilst I'm waiting to buy my own and I have a messy bedroom! It's just cluttered, dirty clothes are in the hamper and I have no dirty dishes. I blame my lack of wardrobe space Blush

AnyFucker · 30/07/2017 23:56

I cannot speak of it Wine

CremeFresh · 31/07/2017 00:00

Op , are they good kids ? Do they keep out of trouble ? Are they kind , polite, respectful (generally speaking) . Have they done ok at school ? If so , I'd overlook a messy room, pick your battles as they say.

Original poster
Paleninteresting · 31/07/2017 00:01

So for my mental health do I.....
Shut the door and ask for more help in the rest of the house
OR
Encourage them to leave ASAP ?

Both are lovely boys and work and study.

OP posts:
GirlOnATrainToShite · 31/07/2017 00:02

Shut the door.

Don't go in there.

CremeFresh · 31/07/2017 00:03

Shut the door and ignore their rooms, let it go , you'll feel better , honestly. I would come to a deal - you ignore their rooms but they must help with other chores .

GirlOnATrainToShite · 31/07/2017 00:05

Mine fold the washing, do their own washing, do all loading and emptying of dishwasher.

Rooms are their own business.

DD (nearly 18) has actually bought herself some bits and pieces for her room recently and there has been a great improvement.

paxillin · 31/07/2017 00:05

If the smell penetrates the closed door, crack down.

Original poster
Paleninteresting · 31/07/2017 00:06

DH TB is vindicated by you lot but it's fine. If the vipers advise it, let it be so.
Cremefresh your idea is great.

OP posts:
SpareASquare · 31/07/2017 00:08

I generally don't enter my teens rooms unless invited. Their space and we ALL respect each others privacy.

Having said that, my teens are expected to help out around the house and do so

BackforGood · 31/07/2017 00:32

Agree with everyone else.

Miraculously, my 21, 18, and 15 yr olds have all tidied their rooms in the last fortnight, but that really, really is highly unusual - indeed, I'd go so far as to say a completely unique time in their lives so far.
Agree with cremefresh - shut the doors and let it go - it's not worth the stress.

HeddaGarbled · 31/07/2017 00:43

I agree, shut the bedroom doors and ignore.

However, when you are down to your last mug and cereal bowl in the kitchen, they need to bring all the mouldy ones down and put them in the dishwasher/scrub them out.

They do need to learn how to look after themselves, though, so I would recommend starting them off with some household jobs. Maybe make a list of what needs doing and let them choose one or more depending on frequency.

paxillin · 31/07/2017 00:47

Alternatively, use the often cited MN method:

"For today's Wifi password, please
1 Bring all crockery down and wash it
2 Put on a load of laundry
3 Empty all bins
4 Pick up your sister from tennis"

Andrewofgg · 31/07/2017 02:39

DS was tidy to the point of being obsessive about it. Every damned thing in its precise place.

His house is the same now.

It irritated DW and me at the time but perhaps after all we were the lucky ones ]grin]