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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DP fucked off over the weekend. We work together. WIBU to tell his bosses?

54 replies

WorkingWithYourExIsShit · 30/07/2017 22:52

DP (cohabiting for several years, not married) packed his bags and moved out with no warning or explanation while I was at work. First I knew of it was when I came home and found our house mostly empty - there wasn't even a note. He's taken everything he owns, most of the things we owned together and some things that were definitely mine (e.g. a Christmas present from dad which he has no use for). He's also left me in the shit financially as I can't pay the rent by myself and the landlord is (as is his right) demanding that I pay up for next month's rent, and I've got the utility bills etc. to cover.

We work together in the same mid-sized (100-ish employees) organisation, so everyone knows everyone. I'm permanent, he's PT freelance, so I am a lot more secure than he is. We were together long before either of us worked there, and I got him the freelancing contract almost a year ago - they've kept extending it.

We're in a different chain of command, but I know his bosses pretty well and I'm quite friendly with them. He doesn't really know my bosses. I don't want to have to work with him (I don't usually have to), but often cross paths with him, and would appreciate a heads up when he's going to be in that office so I can work at our other office when it's practical.

WIBU to email my bosses and his bosses to tell them
a) what he's done (and set out the level of cuntery that this involves)
b) that I'd like a heads up when he's going to be in so I can avoid him on the grounds that I can't trust him to be professional in my presence
Or is this going to come off as someone who's bringing their personal life into their work life?

OP posts:
HipsterHunter · 31/07/2017 08:39

Noooooooooo don't tell his boss!

But do tell yours as in "shit personal visitation just happened, might need to take a half day off to get things sorted"

Also maybe tell a work-mate who is a bit of a gossip and then it can get around that he has stolen your stuff.

Can you get a crime reference number for the stuff that was personally yours that he took?

This is such a strange thing to do. Why on earth would he take all that stuff?

QuackPorridgeBacon · 31/07/2017 14:24

It's weird to want to tell your boss about a break up in the hope of getting him fired.

He is odd for what he has done and stealing from you isn't great. Why would you want him fired though? It's such a childish reaction.

I'd bitch about him to colleagues, I wouldn't think of running to the boss crying about him..

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 31/07/2017 14:32

Be careful re the deposit - I had a very similar situation and was told in writing that I had nothing to worry about because the contract said it would. 6 months later, they won't refund the deposit at all without agreement from us both. We're at a stale mate.

hatsoncats · 31/07/2017 14:36

Report him to the police for theft. Get the crime number for insurance purposes. State that you do not know his whereabouts, but you DO know that he works for such& such company.
Hopefully, they'll turn up to have a quiet word with him.

What can you do about your rent? Has he left the keys? Can the lease be put in your sole name? Can you give LL his works tel number/ mobile number to chase his half of the rent, preferably whilst he's at work?

At work, be professional at all times.
After work, "confide" in the biggest gossip in the office.

Basically, keep it civilised, yet ruthless. Protect yourself.

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