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AIBU?

They didn't accept my bras...

102 replies

KnobZombie7 · 30/07/2017 22:39

Last week I decided to make use of an M and S gift card and upgrade existing bra 'collection'. On hearing about a local service that collects bras for women in war zones, I decided to donate six of my old ones and went into their shop to hand them over - all reasonable condition, clean, washed.

They said they were very much needed but I had to also give them a minimum £5 to pay for postage costs. I wasn't aware of this, my mother had donated some previously and didn't mention this, and I had no change on me at that time. Also, I don't have a huge amount of spare money at the moment.

I said that I could come back another day and donate (after pay day) but they said I would have to take the bras with me and couldn't leave them without a donation. So I left with my old bras and as I walked through the door heard, clearly, the woman say 'waste of time'. She was obviously BU!! The shop is quite a way away from where I live and decided to, on my way home, just drop them off at a charity shop instead.

Just wondering if this is the norm for some charities these days. Never encountered it before and find the whole idea of rejecting much needed donations rather odd and unreasonable.

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KnobZombie7 · 31/07/2017 10:06

My bras were clean, washed, no ingrained dirt or nasties that would 'harm' anyone else wearing them. Elastic & underwire in good condition and working fine, and still very much supportive. I wouldn't donate bras that were falling apart and not fit for purpose! Also quite a large size (E - so probably just about average actually)

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KnobZombie7 · 31/07/2017 10:07

One bra I bought off ebay came with a free pair of matching knickers! They were nice. I washed them and wore them but they were too small for my arse. But...I had no issue with wearing them!!

OP posts:

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WaxOnFeckOff · 31/07/2017 10:14

We had a collection for bras and for any new pants to go to Africa (I think) at work. I had loads of pretty much unworn bras (too small) which I donated along with a couple of packs of pants I picked up on sale in the supermarket. No-one was asked for postage costs.

I can understand why they might do that but it should have been make clear and there was no need to be rude. If it had been me in the shop, I'd have taken them and included them in with the next batch but would have said that they need cash donation to cover postage for any future donations as otherwise it costs for these to be donated.

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Tartle · 31/07/2017 10:16

I always donate bras if they are in good condition. I think the split here usually ends up being between those with boobs in regular sizes vs those blessed cursed with outsize knockers. When you spend minimum £30 on a new bra which is contains feats of engineering not dissimilar to the Eiffel Tower or the pyramids you are more likely to a) buy them second hand off eBay and b) feel like others would appreciate you passing them on.

I have been told that larger sizes are particularly appreciated by these charities as the natural body shape in many areas they are required tends towards busty. If you are a 32h then £2 primark bras are not going to cut it!

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trixiebelden77 · 31/07/2017 10:16

That's odd, I collected bras for a charity who sends them overseas and they paid the postage (after I got them to Sydney).
Even if it's the norm for this charity, the worker was rude and dismissive.

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WaxOnFeckOff · 31/07/2017 10:19

As I understand it from the info we were given, In some remote areas in Africa, underwear is seen as a status symbol and protects the wearing from unwanted attention. We are asked that the pants be new but that clean good condition bras were fine and if we had older ones they would take them for recycling rather than passing on. The ones I donated were quite small but would be ideal for younger girls/small women.

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nina2b · 31/07/2017 10:21

I would not have expected to have to pay anything at all. They had a cheek. YANBU

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yumyumpoppycat · 31/07/2017 10:45

Yanbu they were rude.

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butterflying · 31/07/2017 10:53

YANBU. They should have been advertising the charge, and they were rude to you.

I can understand the postage thing I suppose, but I've never seen it anywhere! And I'm an avid charity shopper/donator.

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SafeToCross · 31/07/2017 11:08

She is just one person, probably not being a great ambassador for the organisation she works or volunteers for. What a pain for you though.

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WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 31/07/2017 11:17

What would they have done if you had just popped them at the door on the way past before they opened?

I would strongly discourage anyone from dropping donations at a charity's door before they open; they absolutely hate it.

The ones I donated were quite small but would be ideal for younger girls/small women.

It does not follow that a small woman will have small breasts

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TonicAndTonic · 31/07/2017 11:18

Sounds rude to me and hardly encourages people to give to good causes. I know charities incur charges, but I think they should try not to put up barriers when willing people try to donate. I think they should at the very least have let you come back with the money another time.

I recently got told off by a woman in my local charity shop for bringing in a bag of donations about an hour before closing time. She said she didn't have time to go through them that day and I should have brought them in the morning! Needless to say there was no sign on the shop door saying 'no donations after lunch' or anything equally ridiculous similar.
She tried to actually send me away with the bag, but grudgingly took it in the end whilst muttering and huffing to herself. The only reason I didn't give her a piece of my mind is that I recognised her and she lives quite close to me on my street, and I could do without a neighbour dispute especially as she clearly has no grasp of civility.

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WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 31/07/2017 11:21

I think they should at the very least have let you come back with the money another time.

They wouldn't have allowed that as the
majority of people wouldn't come back with the money.

I recently got told off by a woman in my local charity shop for bringing in a bag of donations about an hour before closing time

Strange attitude. When we received donations that close to us shutting we just put them upstairs and let the staff the next morning deal with them.

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CoughLaughFart · 31/07/2017 11:29

And the fact that you advocate violence tells me all I need to know about you.

Did it occur to you that I may not have been being entirely literal?

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WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 31/07/2017 11:33

Did it occur to you that I may not have been being entirely literal?

It crossed my mind. But then you didn't mention that in your second post to me, so I think you're backtracking now.

Even if you weren't being literal, it's a nasty, aggressive attitude to have.

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pigyoinkoinks · 31/07/2017 11:34

I used to work for Bonmarche a few years ago, they had big pink bins where people would come and donate the bras for free

Then once a month the company would come and collect them and send them off to war zones and deprived places.

Companies like M&S make more than enough to pay postage themselves!

I think the lady at the tills remark was also very rude OP! Comments like that can make someone feel awful all day.

YANBU!

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WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 31/07/2017 11:45

Companies like M&S make more than enough to pay postage themselves!

M&S is a red herring; it wasn't the place she tried to donate her bras (it was just the place she bought new bras for herself using a gift card).

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StarHeartDiamond · 31/07/2017 11:54

Bossy - I agree with you on pants but not bras because pants are easily made whereas bras are not; pants are sized easily whereas bras are not; then there's underwriting etc which could be a godsend for those blessed with bigger boobs. Even cheapie underwired bras are going to be £8-£10 each and there us so much variation in the sizing. 30a,b,c,d,ds,e,f and so on then 32a,b,c.... there has to be probably 30+ common bra sizes and then 10-20 or so outside common sized bras.

A lot of people buy bras they never use and I hope the charities would be selective and throw out bras which are clearly worn and tatty before passing them on.

So in short I agree with bras donations but not with pants

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WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 31/07/2017 12:04

I hope the charities would be selective and throw out bras which are clearly worn and tatty before passing them on.

They shouldn't have to. Cherry picking the good stuff out of a load of shit is time consuming.

Considerate donators either don't donate crap or have a separate bag for rags.

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WaxOnFeckOff · 31/07/2017 12:27

It does not follow that a small woman will have small breasts wink

I meant small breasted woman - I'm 5'10 :)

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WaxOnFeckOff · 31/07/2017 12:33

A bit of a departure from the OP but I always struggle with what to do with stuff that isn't good enough for a charity to sell on but also shouldn't go into landfill. Thinks like t-shirts where the material is fine but it has a stain or jeans with a hole in the knee or just wouldn't be bought and worn such as red nose day tops from a few years back (that were only worn once). Whilst our council is very heavy on recycling they don't do material/cloth and I tried going to one of the recycling bins that said it took clothes, but when I got there it seemed to say that the donations went to charity so I brought that bag home . I still have a full bin bag full of stuff that I can't find a home for but am reluctant to bin.

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CoughLaughFart · 31/07/2017 12:39

It crossed my mind. But then you didn't mention that in your second post to me, so I think you're backtracking now.

Even if you weren't being literal, it's a nasty, aggressive attitude to have.

Why would I be 'backtracking'? Because you think I give a toss what you think? Don't flatter yourself.

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peaceloveandbiscuits · 31/07/2017 13:44

Take them to Oxfam. You will not be charged.

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WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 31/07/2017 14:43

I meant small breasted woman - I'm 5'10

Ahh makes sense

Why would I be 'backtracking'? Because you think I give a toss what you think? Don't flatter yourself.

I know I'd be backtracking if anyone thought I advocated violence, but hey, we're all different.

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Mustang27 · 31/07/2017 15:57

@WhatToDoAboutThis2017

Yeah I know they do sorry I wasn't suggesting that any one do it but if it was a pile of designer handbags in a black bin liner dropped off at 5 mins to opening I'm sure they would have received them graciously. Done my fair share of voluntary charity shop work so I know it's annoying but in great condition we just shrugged.

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