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They didn't accept my bras...

102 replies

KnobZombie7 · 30/07/2017 22:39

Last week I decided to make use of an M and S gift card and upgrade existing bra 'collection'. On hearing about a local service that collects bras for women in war zones, I decided to donate six of my old ones and went into their shop to hand them over - all reasonable condition, clean, washed.

They said they were very much needed but I had to also give them a minimum £5 to pay for postage costs. I wasn't aware of this, my mother had donated some previously and didn't mention this, and I had no change on me at that time. Also, I don't have a huge amount of spare money at the moment.

I said that I could come back another day and donate (after pay day) but they said I would have to take the bras with me and couldn't leave them without a donation. So I left with my old bras and as I walked through the door heard, clearly, the woman say 'waste of time'. She was obviously BU!! The shop is quite a way away from where I live and decided to, on my way home, just drop them off at a charity shop instead.

Just wondering if this is the norm for some charities these days. Never encountered it before and find the whole idea of rejecting much needed donations rather odd and unreasonable.

OP posts:
ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 30/07/2017 23:26

I don't see a problem with 2nd hand bras. I have some that I've bought and then barely worn. As long as they're in good condition why throw them away?

Regardless of whether the charity shop needed £5 for p&p, the way you were treated was bloody rude.

You should have been thanked for your kind gesture but apologies, we do ask for x amount.. not cut dead and then all the whispering and tutting as you walked out.
That would put me off ever going in there again.

Underthemoonlight · 30/07/2017 23:29

Bossybitch hit the nail on the head it must be degrading to be given someone used under garments when brand new can be obtained fairly cheaply not having ago at you op but I totally get bossybitchs view point and it's excellent one to consider of something we all take advantage of the ability to cloth ourselves.

zen1 · 30/07/2017 23:30

YANBU. There was a similar charity campaign in my town recently asking for unwanted bras to send to third world countries. Lots of bra 'bins' were deposited in the shopping arcade for you to drop unneeded bras into. No mention of money; I think the charity were going to send them off in one load.

CoughLaughFart · 30/07/2017 23:32

You would have physically assaulted a person, but I'm what's wrong with this site? Yeah, okay 😂

Yes - because you made a needless dig at the OP and contributed nothing. And that stupid little crying with laughter emoji tells me all I need to know about you.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 30/07/2017 23:35

Yes - because you made a needless dig at the OP and contributed nothing

I didn't have a dig at the OP, I simply said I thought she was being unreasonable and explained why... which is the point of AIBU.

And the fact that you advocate violence tells me all I need to know about you.

paxillin · 30/07/2017 23:54

I have never paid for donating. You say they have a shop, can they not use the shop's profit for postage? I'd donate AND shop elsewhere after they talked to you like that.

ozymandiusking · 31/07/2017 00:08

There is a charity based in Scotland called Smalls for All. Please will you look at that online and see if they accept bras? certainly knicks as well.

ozymandiusking · 31/07/2017 00:11

Sorry, just checked again and they do receive bras as well.

Chattymummyhere · 31/07/2017 00:33

Bit strange. I wouldn't pay to donate something. I'm already giving something for free.

Ceto · 31/07/2017 00:57

The charity shop you gave them to will have put them straight in the bin. No-one buys used bras.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 31/07/2017 01:00

The charity shop you gave them to will have put them straight in the bin. No-one buys used bras.

Read the OP:

On hearing about a local service that collects bras for women in war zones,

They specifically asked for them. Why would they then throw them away? Confused

They're not selling them anyway; they're giving them to people in war zones.

Ceto · 31/07/2017 01:01

I'm talking about the shop OP went to after the first one, WhatToDo.

AndNowItIsSeven · 31/07/2017 01:05

£5 a bra is a lot, as shoeboxes are £3 postage.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 31/07/2017 01:06

I'm talking about the shop OP went to after the first one, WhatToDo.

No matter. You're still wrong. I used to volunteer in two charity shops. Both accepted second hand bras, put them on the shop floor and sold them.

People do buy them.

AndNowItIsSeven · 31/07/2017 01:06

I mean for bras not per bra.

AndNowItIsSeven · 31/07/2017 01:06

Ceto I bought used maternity bras from eBay.

Bach2Bach · 31/07/2017 01:36

Used to volunteer in a charity shop.
Any donation that was not up to scratch used to be bagged up and sold by weight to a "rag" company which would then sort items by quality, bale them up and ship them to wherever. Traders in wherever countries would buy a bale for a set price ($30-40) and sell items on the local market. Nothing to do with the charity anymore once the items left the charity shop.
I doubt your local charity is any different so the £5 shipping charge sounds a way to extract a bit more money from donors and I don't think the charity is involved with the shipping at all or incurs any shipping costs.
It is of course your choice but I would donate my bras elsewhere, if they are fit for sale they will be sold in the shop, if not they will be sold to the "rag" company. In both cases the charity shop will make some money out of your donations.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 31/07/2017 08:06

People are suggesting buying cheap new underwear to donate. Yes for knickers, but cheap bras are generally crap.
I bought one recently for £2 and the stitching fell apart almost immediately. The underwire also poked through the material after a couple of washes.

A 2nd hand good quality bra would be a better donation. I really can't see why there's disgust at 2nd hand bras. They're not dirty.

I've bought bras from charity shops. My favourite bra is a Gossard one; really good condition from a charity shop for £2.

Nanny0gg · 31/07/2017 08:41

I would never donate used knickers, but bras are often not worn that much and as long as they're in good condition there's not a problem. They've only been in contact with your body, not your bottom!

MipMipMip · 31/07/2017 08:50

Cheap bras may exist - but only in popular sizes. I'm looking at minimum £15 if I find a good sale. And that's rare. I don't imagine people will turn their nose up vast a second hand bra if it fits OK.

BarbaraofSeville · 31/07/2017 09:30

If you don't want to pay to donate the bras, are there any collection banks near you? Our village has a collection bank that takes old bras and the money raised (I think they are recycled) benefits the local air ambulance. Google air ambulance bras to see if there is anything local to you.

ginghamstarfish · 31/07/2017 09:39

Agree with pp that you should contact the charity, or at least that shop manager as clearly staff training is needed. Don't see the problem with donating unwanted bras - obviously in good wearable condition, but not pants.

Mustang27 · 31/07/2017 09:43

Sounds nuts to me. Can't understand a charity shop rejecting something they need because you won't pay postage. I realise it's a cost that needs to be covered but not everyone can spare that on top of their other donation. What would they have done if you had just popped them at the door on the way past before they opened?

GladAllOver · 31/07/2017 09:51

I'd check if they were a registered charity.

£5 per donation is ridiculous. Bras aren't heavy. They can bundle up hundreds of them in a sack. And if it goes in an aid convoy it won't cost them anyway.

longdaysandpleasantnights · 31/07/2017 09:52

Why is buying a second hand bra any different to buying a second hand vest top for example? Are my boobs dirty?!
I can understand second hand knickers being discarded, but my bras cost over £25 each as I am a size 36K. I'm sure if I found myself with no bras for whatever reason then a second hand bra in my size would be massively appreciated, even with slightly stretchy elastic.

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