To want the ground to swallow me up?

[gingergenius]

I'm working. Consumer Client-facing media type role. Self employed. Experienced and usually very professional. Busy time of year so a bit tired.

I was standing in the toilets of the venue I'm working at with two women who are part of the client group. All the loos are full so we're waiting patiently as you do, as a woman, in a public toilet environment.

My mouth opened and I can't quite believe what came out of it!!!

"Omg it's at times like these you wish you had a penis"

WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING????
I'm mortified.

I feel I need to do the walk of atonement.

[VestalVirgin]

Um, I pee on public toilets in exactly the same position I pee in the woods.

So, am I doing it wrong? Where's the difference between hovering and squatting? (Not a native speaker, sorry if the question is dumb)

[HereBeFuckery]

RiverAB I've reported you for breaking talk guidelines, and being goady. Just so you know.

[SerfTerf]

You need a step @VestalVirgin

All (western) loos should be augmented by a step to help users replicate a natural squatting position. Excellent for bowel health too

[pippitysqueakity]

There are no female penises, peni or whatever.

[SerfTerf]

www.amazon.co.uk/Step-Go-Toilet-NEW-Healthier/dp/B00G5PTWT4?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

Voila

[rosietosey]

Would women communally piss nowadays? I doubt it.

Men do all the time. I envy them often for the ease with which they can empty their bladders amongst their co penisists.

Is that not what OP was referring to?

[SerfTerf]

(Hovering would mean your legs are at a >90 degree angle and squatting would put them at much

[rosietosey]

I am fed up now because you will not back up my statement that this has nothing to do with appendages. More to do with the absolute difference between males and females in a toilet situation. Quicker for men, much slower than women.

Uh oh.

Has wine o'clock started.

[pigsDOfly]

Shouldn't worry about any of the women in the loo being offended by your remark OP. It's pretty harmless, unless they're idiots and are desperately looking for something to be offended by.

[VestalVirgin]

Is that not what OP was referring to?

Partly, but I think it was more envy of the being able to pee standing up (without pulling down the trousers).

For which women would have to buy this shewee device, or something similar.

The communal pissing would be something women could just make an effort to get over ... if there were pissoirs for women.

@SerfTerf: Very interesting! Thanks!

[BeepBeepMOVE]

You forgot the "find something to do with handbag" stage of peeing! Many of times theres been no hook and I've had to try and balance it under and arm or something silly. Men don't have this issue either. I'd say it adds at least 30 seconds onto time if having to balance it. Also any Period stuff that needs doing takes time. And relating back to OPs original comment if she had a penis then that would be a problem as she'd be in the mens and men don't have to faff with sanpro.

[topcat2014]

Recently, on a night out (but not too late, clubbing days long past..) I went into the male toilets (being male..) only to be confronted by a group of about 4 women using the facilities.

Being british, I apologised for getting in their way. Also, I chose to use a cubicle at that time (feeling somewhat uncomfortable, tbh).

At no point did I actually think of saying anything remotely reproachful - although I wondered about that later on...

[SerfTerf]

Yes! @BeepBeepMOVE

What's happened to all the hooks?

[frumpety]

To be fair there is an element of skill involved in squat and squirt , that simply isn't required when you have a penis , this is not a transphobic comment , this is just mathematics ( pure)

[VestalVirgin]

You forgot the "find something to do with handbag" stage of peeing! Many of times theres been no hook and I've had to try and balance it under and arm or something silly. Men don't have this issue either.

Backpack! Or if you feel you cannot use a backpack in your workplace, there's handbags that can also be used as backpacks.

(I cannot go anywhere without a backpack, as women's trousers don't have decent pockets, but I refuse to use a handbag. For exactly the reason you state!)

At no point did I actually think of saying anything remotely reproachful - although I wondered about that later on...

Eh, better not to say something, they might have identified as male and taken offense at misgendering.

[rosietosey]

Communal toilets (cubicles) with a little integrated basin in the cubicle to wash hands is the way to go.

It is becoming more prevalent all over (non UK) Europe anyway AFAIS.
Where I am, every restaurant we use has this set up. Works fine, penis or not.

Segregation is not good.

But Brexit will put a stop to anything EU anyway!

Lighthearted I beg you to agree.

[VestalVirgin]

What's happened to all the hooks?

Oh dear, I thought the hooks were appearing more frequently as more women were allowed to design the women's toilets, with more women getting into architecture, or whatever it is you have to be to get to decide this stuff.

They are disappearing?

I thought there was a trend towards more female-friendly toilet designs. (We have one in my town where the bins are integrated in the wall! So lovely!)

But I guess since it is all going to be made unisex in the near future, why bother, eh?

[rosietosey]

Even though I am a fan of integrated loos. I have to admit that in the current segregation days, and when on a mad night out and worse for wear, I actually identify women's loos through a fog of whatever when I see the sanitary bins.

That's when I know I am in the correct segregated place. Laugh Out Loud.

[DawnMumsnet]

Evening all,

Just dropping in to say thanks for all the reports about this thread. As you can see, we've removed a number of posts which were left by a previously banned poster and which we felt were deliberately provocative, which as you all know, is against our Talk Guidelines.



As you were...

[VestalVirgin]

Communal toilets (cubicles) with a little integrated basin in the cubicle to wash hands is the way to go.

Well, that's nice if there's enough space and money for it. I'm sure many women like to be able to wash their mooncups in a private space.

But if the basin is too tiny because it must fit in the cubicle, you actually touch it while washing hands! That's terribly unhygienic, and I'd hate to see more of it.

[SerfTerf]

Well wouldntchaknow? A PBP

[rosietosey]

Mad thread.

But such is life on the www.

Mooncups v tampons or ST's. Who is the superior being here. It's OK, I know the answer.

Disgusted from Tunbridge Wells.

[PoppyBucket]

VestalVirgin of course it's not a dumb question. I had to have it explained to me and I am a native speaker.

Lots of women hover over a loo seat because they don't want to sit on it, in case it's not hygienic. They are sort of half standing up.
Often if a woman has to pee in the woods they will remain half standing up in case they have to beat a hasty retreat and they feel a bit vulnerable doing it. But this position does not fully empty the bladder

The way to fully empty your bladder is to squat with your bum almost touching the ground and legs completely bent. Not many unfit or elderly women can achieve this. Or even want to! I most certainly can't do it, but I do know women who can. Sitting on a loo seat means that the rest of your muscles are relaxed so you can empty your bladder satisfactorily. But after you've had your wee, trust me, if you sit there maybe 30 seconds longer, there will be a little bit more wee to come. An 'after-wee' if you will. It was what my GP advised me to do after a couple of wee infections. And it's worked pretty well.

It's just about the semi-standing up position not giving your bladder the chance to empty properly. If you're on a drunken night out then ignore this advice because you might miss the fun. Nobody on a boozy night out wants to spend many minutes in the loo!

But as a regular habit, it's helpful to remain on the loo for a minute or two more, because there WILL be an after-pee trickle. And that little after-pee trickle is important if you have a UTI. And indeed, will go a long way towards making sure that you don't.

Maybe there might be a GP on here who will back me up. Or maybe tell me I'm talking rubbish! I'll be ok with that.

[PoppyBucket]

I have to say, OP, that I would have sais willy rather than penis.