To want the ground to swallow me up?

[gingergenius]

I'm working. Consumer Client-facing media type role. Self employed. Experienced and usually very professional. Busy time of year so a bit tired.

I was standing in the toilets of the venue I'm working at with two women who are part of the client group. All the loos are full so we're waiting patiently as you do, as a woman, in a public toilet environment.

My mouth opened and I can't quite believe what came out of it!!!

"Omg it's at times like these you wish you had a penis"

WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING????
I'm mortified.

I feel I need to do the walk of atonement.

Vladimirs

female penis

What are these? . Is it something one can purchase... a bit like a Shewee device?

Um, is this some kind of "rank my joke out of 5" thread? It's fine. It's a mild joke and nothing to be 'mortified' over.

"Because having a female penis wouldn't make the line any quicker, it's transphobic and disrespectful."

Snort. OK thread was now worth entering.

Quite the influx of deluded TRAs this week

I think River must be on the wind up

Arguing that women can pee as quickly as men is stupid. We have to pull bottoms and underwear down, sit and pee, wipe, pull everything back up. Even opening/closing the cubicle door takes extra seconds men don't need to spend. Men go on, unzip, pee, zip...no cubicle/sitting/wiping. It's just common sense that generally they're going to need less time to go.

I really dislike the thread police but can we all just continue with the thread at hand and not be led down the rabbit hole by RiverAB who's obviously spoiling for a fight.

Agree @FlandersRocks

That just confirms you are transphobic, if the penis is on a woman it's a female penis

Best thing I've read in ages.

Is derailing against talk guidelines?

Fuckity bye @RiverAB - the griwnups are talking. Go and have an argument with someone who is genuinely transphobic. I'm sure you're a nice person, but this is not a trans thread. I am not transphobic. But I DO have a vagina. And an opinion, and no amount of inline goady fuckery from you is likely to make me believe in the 'emperors new clothes' notion of a female penis. You want to talk oppression??? Let's discuss how bio women have been oppressed for centuries. Until then, take your female penis and squat.

Nah totally fine comment to make, yes its times like this its useful to have one :-)

😀at female penis. No such thing.

You talk to yourself @RiverAB

I think the main thing is not to keep dwelling on the joke OP. It was fine, it was funny. Iif you sit and obsess you'll end up on a much worse "foot in mouth" streak.

@FlandersRocks it al and amazes me how long the queues are for the ladies loos compared to men's lo s at clubs/cinemas/theatres etc. In my young and feisty days I used to hijack the men's toilets which I appreciate was probably a bit disrespectful, but it was like being in the priority queue at an airport and was brilliant !!!

(Although, TBF, "female penis" is an even funnier joke. Sorry! )

I've had such a thought many a time when queuing for the toilets. Even with the whole to sit or to hover debate; having a penis would infinitely make it so much quicker.

Maybe I should invest in a she-wee for such occasions, and avail myself of a speedy-boarding urinal????

It depends. How often do you go through a bag security check?

I'm not the only one totally not getting this, am I?

You and your friends should have used the male loos anyway.

If challenged you could have said
'We feel like men today, therefore we are men and have every right to use your toilets.

What's good for the goose and all that .

Not getting what @ScruffyLookingNerfHerder ? The inappropriate penis comment or the goady-trans-derail-comments???

@TeamCersei but I have female penis inadequacy issues and may end up with performance anxiety!