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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU?

35 replies

Wrapmeupincottonwool · 28/07/2017 21:21

In 4 days I will be flying to visit family in Italy with my OH, 4yo, 2yo & 10mo. My brother then booked tickets for him and his OH on the same outbound flight. Two days ago my bro had just realised that the type of tickets he purchased did not come with any baggage allowance. He spoke to airline and said it would cost €128. I called airline to see if I could do anything. Discovered my 10mo was allowed 10kg checked hand luggage. I told my bro he was more than welcome to use that. Anywayyyyy today I asked if he could put my pram in the UNUSED back seats of his hire vehicle (we hired our own, but just in case we did not have the room). My bro got really arsey and quite rude. Saying he wasn't faffing about at airport etc.
Bit of background- I overpack for holidays and my bro never goes out of his way for anyone.
AIBU to expect my bro to help me out, just like I would always do for him ?????
I genuinely think he's an absolute f@&k s@&t!!!

OP posts:
PearlyPinkNails · 28/07/2017 21:45

Tell him he can fuck off with the hand luggage then.

chickenowner · 28/07/2017 21:47

Agree with Pearly

Cailleach666 · 28/07/2017 21:51

Sounds like you are all set for a great holiday.

MaisyPops · 28/07/2017 21:53

I'd tell him he can check his own damn luggage in because you can't be dealing with the faff at the airport trying to carry your '10 month old's 10kg hand luggage' on board.

Needsomeflapjacks · 28/07/2017 21:54

No buggy =no luggage. .

Aquamarine1029 · 28/07/2017 21:56

Why waste your time and head space getting upset with your brother when you ALREADY know what he's like? Shouldn't you have expected this shit behaviour? People are who they are. They don't change even when someone has done them a favor.

Original poster
Wrapmeupincottonwool · 29/07/2017 06:28

Yes agree with you all. We both became quite personal and behaved like 8yo (seriously). Obviously told him he could fuck off with the luggage.
I know what he's like but doesn't change the fact I still get offended EVERYTIME. I wish I could understand why he's so selfish?
Last week my mum sent down three boxes of sentimental toys for me, brother & OH drove them to me after a weekend at my mums (mum lives about 2hr drive, bro next to me). He dropped two and forgot one in the car, I asked him to store it and found out he left it on the side of the road because his bike wouldn't fit in the boot. I had my mum crying her eyes out!

OP posts:
Original poster
Wrapmeupincottonwool · 29/07/2017 06:30

I know this sounds ridiculous but I'm actually hoping there is someone who genuinely agrees with my bro. Hoping they'd give me an explanation why, so that I might then begin to understand my bro.

OP posts:
emmyrose2000 · 29/07/2017 09:49

Glad that you've rescinded the luggage offer, as that was going to be my advice. How did brother take it when you told him?

VeryButchyRestingFace · 29/07/2017 09:59

Why did you offer him the luggage allowance?? Shock

FFS woman, your brother is a cunt!

You need to try and access the 😈 part of your soul that feels a warm, happy glow at your brother having to fork out €128 for luggage.

CockacidalManiac · 29/07/2017 10:02

Yes, your brother is a proper cunt. What is there to understand?

CockacidalManiac · 29/07/2017 10:03

And stop always 'helping him out.' You're just asking for problems there.

Original poster
Wrapmeupincottonwool · 29/07/2017 10:20

My brother has a very high paid job so no skin off his nose! I also directed him to a link where it is €25 each way (before we had this tiff obviously)
I offered it to him because he's my bro, but even if he wasn't I would have. If I'm able to help anyone then I will.
I just wish I could understand why he does this???
My bro does help people but only if it doesn't inconvenience him in any way. He seems to have this obsession about not carrying anything for anyone. Every time we visit Italy my grandma wants tea and chocs from England, do you think he would bring this for her? He would rather hell freeze over than carry anything for anyone!
Anyone else behave like this, or knows anyone like this?

OP posts:
Oomph · 29/07/2017 10:23

It sounds like pathological selfishness. Is he otherwise normal?

VeryButchyRestingFace · 29/07/2017 10:27

I offered it to him because he's my bro, but even if he wasn't I would have. If I'm able to help anyone then I will

You need to stop, at least in relation to your bro. Get off the cross, etc, etc.

I just wish I could understand why he does this???

So ask him.

But the question isn't really why he does what he does, but why you do what you do?

Has it ever occured to you that you may be enabling his nasty, spoiled, selfish attitude by pandering to him in this way?

He clearly doesn't give a fuck about anyone except himself. He doesn't have to, if his family are going to continue to be as accommodating and nice as pie to him irrespective of how he behaves.

How exactly did he respond when you withdrew the luggage allowance offer?

Original poster
Wrapmeupincottonwool · 29/07/2017 11:03

He called me a fat pig 😂😂😂. TBH we both got quite childish and nasty, this was in a group chat, even my mum told us to both stop. Yes I am over 30 🤦🏻‍♀️.
I do ask him all the time, the response I get is 'I don't want to carry your shit' literally no explanation, that's why I'm on MN, hoping someone will agree with him as to shed some light on his behaviour.
But yes our family, including me do always accommodate his selfishness.

OP posts:
CockacidalManiac · 29/07/2017 11:05

hoping someone will agree with him as to shed some light on his behaviour.

But why?! Will it make him less of a twat?
Some people are just awful human beings, there isn't always a 'why'.

Original poster
Wrapmeupincottonwool · 29/07/2017 11:08

Before it got too nasty

AIBU?
OP posts:
Original poster
Wrapmeupincottonwool · 29/07/2017 11:09

Yes I'm hoping it will make him less of a twat 😂. I don't want to think my brother is truly like this 😢

OP posts:
CockacidalManiac · 29/07/2017 11:11

Why should he change? It seems that his behaviour gets him everything he wants.

VeryButchyRestingFace · 29/07/2017 11:29

Yes I'm hoping it will make him less of a twat 😂. I don't want to think my brother is truly like this 😢

But he is. He's a selfish, nasty cunt, it's right there in black and white (unless there's one hell of a backstory coming!).

Let the truth set you free, OP. Flowers

As others have said, does it really matter why he behaves in this way towards his family?

If you saw a rabid, slathering dog running towards you foaming at the mouth, would you:

a). Stand stock still, thinking, "awww, poor ickle doggy! It must have hard a hard life. I wonder what happened to make it so angry and aggressive"

b). Run like fuck

???

Original poster
Wrapmeupincottonwool · 29/07/2017 11:49

😢😢😢 I don't want to see my bro like this

OP posts:
Original poster
Wrapmeupincottonwool · 29/07/2017 11:53

Just incase anyone is interested in the message of me offering my suitcase. Pink is bro and blue is aunt. Our 'gossip' group chat is me, my bro, my aunt & my mum.

AIBU?
OP posts:
CockacidalManiac · 29/07/2017 11:54

It obviously works for him. He has a very well paid job (many twats do; lots of links between lack of empathy and well remunerated jobs). His family make lots of allowances for him.
People like him often do very well at life.

ButchyRestingFace · 29/07/2017 11:58

He was nice up until the moment you asked him for a favour.

And then out popped the cloven hoof.